Showing posts with label life coaching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life coaching. Show all posts

Your "Instead" {dealing with the opposition with the opposite attitude, living life in a different spirit...}

Exclusive Access to New Designs, Discounts, and the Occasional Free Coaching

* indicates required

More Art Available...{...and my newest podcast...}

I want to invite you to enjoy some of my designs as tote bags, pillows, iPhone cases, etc. Here is my Society 6 link:

Click here


(one of my designs, as an iPhone case)


 (one of my designs as a throw pillow)



(one of my designs as a tote bag)




Also, here is my latest podcast:


 

I would consider it amazing grace if you'd share my podcasts with anyone who you feel might benefit from them. What I discuss, in these podcasts, is the Gospel applied to daily living, and I am eager to get the word of His grace out!

Get a Weekly Serving of Coaching, Coupons, Designs, Discounts











"Then the children of Joseph spoke to Joshua, saying, “Why have you given us only one lot and one share to inherit, since we are a great people, inasmuch as the Lord has blessed us until now?”




 So Joshua answered them, “If you are a great people, then go up to the forest country and clear a place for yourself there in the land of the Perizzites and the giants, since the mountains of Ephraim are too confined for you.”




But the children of Joseph said, “The mountain country is not enough for us; and all the Canaanites who dwell in the land of the valley have chariots of iron, both those who are of Beth Shean and its towns and those who are of the Valley of Jezreel.”




 And Joshua spoke to the house of Joseph—to Ephraim and Manasseh—saying, “You are a great people and have great power; you shall not have only one lot, but the mountain country shall be yours. Although it is wooded, you shall cut it down, and its farthest extent shall be yours; for you shall drive out the Canaanites, though they have iron chariots and are strong.”  (Joshua 17:14-18)







When I spoke this past February at a women's conference in North Carolina, this was one of the texts I used.  In it, we find the story of a tribe whose time to GROW had come.  




So they approached their leader Joshua (who is a type of Christ, in Scripture) and basically asked for more territory.  




You have to remember...or you must realize...that God is the original "territorial Spirit".  HE puts the solitary in families, HE ordained tribes and households and boundaries.  Today, HE ordains families, local churches, and we are still called to both expand the territory we are given, and guard its boundaries.  




Joshua's answer?  Grow up.  




Literally...grow upwards.  "Go up to the forest country.  Sure, there are boulders and trees and giants with serious weapons, but if you want to expand - get to work."




And so it is for you, beautiful one, if you will allow me a brief coaching moment with you.  I need to ask you to ask yourself what it is you are afraid of.  Identify your giants.  Be as concise as you can.  Let's start with three.  What three things, in terms of your growing up, are you most afraid of?



There comes a point when you are increasing in your gift, that you will be called both to "GROW UP" and to "go up higher".  You will have to engage your next enemy.  New territory will not be gained as easily as before (when it was simply given) but you can do this thing.




Can I tell you?  Jehovah is on your side...and at the same time, no other human being - no spouse, counselor, life coach or friend - can do it for you.  No one else can expand and grow your marriage...or your business...or your family.  




"You are, in fact, a gifted woman. So go up..."









Get a Weekly Serving of Coaching, Coupons, Designs, Discounts


Your {Simple Yet Powerful} Playsheet is Ready...



As promised, I prepared you a "Tolerations Playsheet".

 And she is deceptively simple.

Because science confirms that the head and heart and hand are intricately connected, and it is hugely important to journal...to write things down.  One powerful thought:  you cannot write something down, while thinking about something else.

To journal, write, or otherwise document with your own hand what your thoughts are, requires that you begin to process your life on a deep level.  Try it.  Trust me.

To get your own PDF file that you can print, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and sit down in a quiet place with, simply email me with the word "Playsheet" in the subject line, and include your email address.  I will send your very own coaching playsheet, at no charge.  Yours will look slightly very different than the one you see below...below is the beta version, but it will give you an idea.

Now, onto the coaching...

Here are your instructions:

~ Identify your top three tolerations.  Make sure that if you are living with a huge toleration      (explanation here) that you are completely honest with yourself, and list that at the very top.  Then, simply identify two more...the two that bother you the most.  You are writing these "top three" down in order to bring them into your conscious awareness...you are  "putting them on your radar screen" so to speak.  They may actually be SO huge that you will not be able to address them quickly or easily.  That is okay.  You will be surprised how much your mind and heart will begin to search for wisdom and solutions, all on their own, simply by observing fact and calling it what it is:  a toleration.

~Next, list three tolerations that will cost you nothing to address.  This is for the "quick win"...and trust me, you need and want a quick win, because the first and last lists are going to kick your butt.  You will eliminate these tolerations within the week.

~Last, identify three tolerations that by nature mean that you will have to initiate a conversation with someone you live with...not one of your friends.  These last three "requiring a conversation" tolerances may be much the same as your first three (the three that must stop "NOW").  Or, your tolerances that require a conversation may be completely different from your three biggest ones listed at the top of your playsheet.

It's your life, it is your time to think and be compassionately honest with yourself.  (I don't believe in being brutally honest with yourself - but that is another coaching moment for another day...)


Fact is, many of our tolerations DO involve family members.  Friends?  Not so much.  Most of us don't live with friends - unless you are single and sharing a space with room mates.  If so, think of them as family.   Something about them may qualify as an unnecessary tolerance that "requires a conversation".  Otherwise, with friends, I recommend patience, unless the behavior of a friend is crossing important boundaries.

But those we live with, family or otherwise, can present us with challenges that we sometimes learn to tolerate.  Notice I did not say "challenges that we choose to be patient with"...that is different.  No, I am talking about things we are tolerating that we should not be tolerating - both for our own sake, and the other person's sake.  It blesses no one when one person is tolerating another person.

Think with me:  is there someone in your everyday life, whose behavior has caused you to come up with elaborate coping mechanisms?  You may really have to print your sheet out and take time to ponder, because this is a "live" one - as they say in the coaching industry.

Why?  Because often our coping strategies become so engrained, we don't even notice them anymore.  For example:  an adult, unemployed child comes home, obviously in a bad mood, and you automatically begin either trying to deflect his mood, or isolate yourself elsewhere in your own house, or eat a whole pan of brownies.  (That may or may not be autobiographical in nature...)

Girlfriend, it is time for a conversation.

We all have a few tolerances that require a calm, well-thought-out conversation with a family member who we love dearly.  I promise you are not the only one.  You must:  1.  think through what you need to say, and 2.  schedule these conversations, also within one week.

The only rule for that last list:  that you request no more than fifteen minutes of anyone's time, to discuss the issue.  Word of counsel:  the more emotional the subject, the more public your discussion needs to be.  For example, if you are addressing an emotionally touchy topic, you carefully plan what needs to be said, you request 15 minutes of the loved one's time at a coffee shop, and you lovingly, peacefully speak your peace, and then get feedback.  This keeps both of you on task, as neutral as possible, on target, and taking no unnecessary emotional side roads.

You are guaranteed to at least be well on your way to a breakthrough in 15 minutes flat, if not experiencing full-on breakthrough in 15 minutes.  It can be done, and in fact is done all the time.




Again, if you'd like a playsheet that you can sit down with, think, sip coffee, and have a "come to Jesus meeting" with yourself, just email me with the word "Playsheet" in the subject line, and include your email address, so I can send you the PDF I developed.

What Are You Tolerating {...that you shouldn't be...}




Tell me what it is you are tolerating, right now this minute.

Did you know that almost everyone has at least a hundred (yes...100...one-zero-zero...) "tolerations" active in their life at any given time?  It is no wonder we feel anxious, stressed, and experience aches and pains in our physical bodies.  

"Tolerations" are what life coaches call all those things you put up with...walls that need painting, closets that need purging, clutter on the tables, flower beds that need weeding, and cars that need maintenance.  (That list may or may not be autobiographical in nature...)

I am not talking about areas of your life where you need to develop patience, as in a husband who isn't romantic enough, or a child with an annoying habit.  Develop patience.  Train your child.

No, I am talking about the distractions...the draining annoyances...the pebbles in your shoes that are telling you that you should just stop...remove your shoes...and get rid of the pebbles.  

Your level of satisfaction in life...even your ability to attend to the things of God without distraction, is directly related to the number of things you are tolerating.

Sure, you could go swimming in your jeans in an emergency...but every time you swim?   That'd just be annoying.

That is what life lived with tolerations is like:  swimming in your jeans.  How does it feel?  Are you relaxed?  Do you feel free?

Some tolerations are huge.  So huge, we have no business tolerating them on any level.  Some examples would be:  having no church home, carrying a mortgage that you cannot afford, an unemployed adult child living at home paying no rent, disrespect from said adult child (or any child), emotional or physical abuse from a spouse.

The huge tolerations are no-brainers...any woman in her right mind knows she needs to put a stop to those things, somehow.   But the big tolerations are often very, very hard to reduce and eliminate.

However.   You must eliminate them.




Other, more minor tolerations will still hinder those we love from receiving our best, and they keep us from accomplishing our goals with the ease that ought to be characteristic of a Christ-follower.  Ask yourself how much of a "peaceful, non-anxious presence" do you have?  If no one has ever told you that they feel peaceful when they are around you...you do not have a strong, obvious, non-anxious presence about you.  Time to take step one in cultivating an atmosphere-shifting, serene, non-anxious presence (it is your gift to others), by eliminating your own tolerations.

I am currently developing a fun-sheet (as opposed to "worksheet") to help you identify the tolerations in your life, and even come up with a short-term game plan to address them.

Go ahead.  Don't wait for the playsheet, and don't wait for me to coach you (though I would be glad to, if you want to make an appointment.  You can reserve a spot by clicking here). 

Do this:  Eliminate two smallish-yet-draining tolerations in your life by Monday.  Sew that button back on.  Clean your car.

You won't believe how much lighter you  feel.  I promise.  

Journaling Questions:

What is my "huge" toleration?  What is one thing I have no business tolerating, but have been tolerating?

Why am I tolerating it?

What am I afraid of?

Pray over the things you discover...

Post edit:

The FREE "Tolerances Playsheet" is now available!  All you need to do is drop me a line and request the worksheet (I call it a "playsheet"), leaving me your email address.  I will promptly send you the PDF!  As simple as this playsheet is, I think you will find it insightful...I added one exercise at the bottom that will really make you think.