More Underlined Bits - Give Them Grace

More underlined bits from the book by Elyse Fitzpatrick, "Give Them Grace" - a book about how the gospel of Grace (New Covenant gospel) applies to raising children.

"Our salvation (and our kids' as well) is by grace alone through faith alone in Christ alone. Grace alone.

Most of us are painfully aware that we're not perfect parents. We're also deeply grieved that we don't have perfect kids. But the remedy to our mutual imperfections isn't more law, even if it seems to produce tidy or polite children. Christian children (and their parents) don't need to learn to be nice. They need death and resurrection and a Savior who has gone before them as a faithful high priest, who was a child Himself, and who lived and died perfectly in their place. They need a Savior who extends the offer of complete forgiveness, total righteousness, and indissoluble adoption to all who will believe.

This is the message we all need. We need the gospel of grace and the grace of the gospel. Children can't use the law any more than we can, because they will respond to it the same way we do. They'll ignore it or bend it or obey it outwardly for selfish purposes, but this one thing is certain: they won't obey it from the heart, because they can't. That's why Jesus had to die."

These bits are all from chapter one! Just the first chapter. If you are a parent, you might already be feeling a strong sense of conflict, deep inside. I assure you, this isn't a book that lets you or your children off the hook, in terms of obedience. But if you have been mixing law with gospel, as most of us have in our generation, this book will totally mess you up, and rework the basis from which you expect obedience, and even the methods you use to train obedience into your children.

If your children are grown, as are mine, I would still jump on this book, as I did. Because older women are mandated to teach the younger women, and I want to teach them properly! I don't want to give them the same right-sounding rhetoric that I was given...rhetoric that didn't actually work for me in the long run, and won't work for them in the long run. Law is always, always a short term solution, but at least it feels like a solution, and therein lies its subtle deception.

I will say this: the law was a way easier means of relating to my children. No nuance, no wisdom, no relationship necessary. And it felt so satisfying to the flesh, when I invoked the law as a parent. It won me accolades and admiration, up to a point.

But only the long story tells THE story. Today, I thank God that He awakened me to the Gospel in all its glory, and I began to apply it to my relationships with my children. The Gospel thoroughly addresses both legalism and license, and is a perfectly safe foundation from which to parent in rest and confidence.