~C.S. Lewis, on his conversion …
You must picture me alone in that room in Magdalen, night after night, feeling, whenever my mind lifted even for a second from my work, the steady, unrelenting approach of him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet.
That which I greatly feared had at last come upon me.
In the Trinity Term of 1929, I gave in, and admitted that God was God: perhaps, that night, the most dejected and reluctant convert in all England.
I did not then see what is now the most shining and obvious thing; the Divine humility which will accept a convert even on such terms.
The Prodigal Son at least walked home on his own feet.
But who can duly adore the Love which will open the high gates to a prodigal who is brought in kicking, struggling, resentful, and darting his eyes in every direction for a chance to escape?
The words compelle itrare - compel them to come in - have been so abused; but, properly understood, they plumb the depth of the Divine mercy.
The hardness of God is kinder than the softness of men, and his compulsion is our liberation.
- C.S. Lewis
"Oh Lord, do not speak of me as you did those Pharisees, when you said, "Let them alone. They are blind leaders..." Bother me, Lord! Keep compelling me further and further into your gracious Self, keep forcing me to see You as You have always been...not as other men have presented You to me in the past, based on their own human understanding. Keep convincing me of how little I have known, and how much more is yet to be gained. Compel me to come into a better understanding. Be thus kind to me, Lord!"