The Proverbs say "All the days of the afflicted are evil, but (s)he who has a merry heart has a continual feast."
This applies to everything. We often hear this verse applied to our attitude, but it also applies to our relationships. Even mind-science has a term for it...and it is a very real, measurable phenomenon...
...called confirmation bias. On a harmless level, if you begin to consider purchasing a Prius, you will suddenly see them everywhere. On a very harmful level, the negative things you choose to entertain about a spouse, friend, father or mother, you will easily find in them. Confirmation Bias. It is proven and measurable and we all have it.
If I tell myself my husband is a Witless Wonder, my mind will search for confirmation, and will find it.
If I tell myself my husband is wise, my mind will search for confirmation and will find it.
What you tell yourself directly affects your emotional well being.
What you tell yourself about others directly affects your relationships...which directly affects your well being.
All but the very least discerning in your circle knows if you are entertaining negativity about them. They can sense it.
Do you have a conscience? At all? Most Christians do. If you have a conscience, that is another big reason to think well of others. Your mind watches you. Your own mind registers every inner attitude, then measures it against what you say and do. When you demean someone with your words, and then you smile at them the next time you see them...
...you are at odds, deep inside, if you have any conscience. Something will feel disingenuous. The worst thing you can do is blame the other person. They are not responsible for your perspective...or your emotions.
It is best to choose a perspective of respect at every opportunity - on the inside first. Let the hidden man of the heart begin to look for the praiseworthy in others. Your mouth will eventually speak life, from the overflow of your heart. That positive, happy, upbeat attitude of yours will make all your relationships feel like a Saturday morning...
...light. Sweet. Easy.
Confirmation Bias is a Biblical concept. Confirmation Bias exists in you, no matter what. Why not make it work FOR you, not against you?
Grace and Peace,
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