That day when I humbled myself and acknowledged that my mom had always loved me.
{...even with her own wounded places, and now me with my wounded places, and I am certain my grown children all have their wounded places...}
That day when I humbled myself and acknowledged that my mom had always loved me every bit as much as I love my own children. That day when I realized that I didn't have to re-parent myself, that it wasn't all about me anyway, that my mother was allowed to raise me the best she could with the knowledge she had.
That day, years ago, when I owned up to the fact that, regardless of my perceptions, or her mistakes, or our collective brokenness, there was never a day when I was not loved by her as much as I loved my own babies. Never. a. day.
That was the day I grew up....exponentially.
That was the day I appropriated the kind of Gospel that gets up inside my brain and renews my old patterns and transforms my thinking and re-writes history. That was the day I walked free. That was the day I stopped being the victim in a universe that revolved around my imagined (and real) offenses.
That was the day I, myself, became a woman capable of living in healthy community with the family of God, as well as my own family. That was the day I, myself, became a leader.
It was pretty revolutionary. And I am the Queen of Understatement.
Seems like almost everyone has "mother issues" these days. I wonder if it isn't almost fashionable to bash mothers and mothers-in-law.
On the side of compassion - if that is you, if there is some woundedness in that relationship, you are not alone. In my experience, we are the majority. And we can minister and administer such grace to one another!
But when there is bitterness? When you are "the victim"? When there is resentment and when the relationship takes on a punitive tone? (when, in your mind, you are finding ways to put a parent "in her place", or withhold in the relationship) Sometimes, there can be a deep disconnect with the concept of femininity itself at the root of all the complaining.
Consider that.
It ain't healthy, that's all I am going to say. When my female-ness makes up half of the image of Very God - it becomes high time to respect femininity, even in its fallen state. There is a lot of strength and good to be found there.
It ain't healthy, that's all I am going to say. When my female-ness makes up half of the image of Very God - it becomes high time to respect femininity, even in its fallen state. There is a lot of strength and good to be found there.
That day I quit judging my mother, and found fresh respect for myself. For all women.
For you, the "that day" I speak of, can be today. Whether you are sixteen or sixty, you can truly find yourself with a new lease on life, when you choose honor in what may at one time have been a difficult relationship. And may I add, whether that parent is living or dead. In fact, if they are gone and beyond the sound of your voice, it might be more important for you to hold a space of honor for them in your heart, always.
It's one week away, friends. Mother's Day is a week away. Never forget: the road to true prosperity is paved with authentic honoring of your father AND your mother. I love how God didn't leave our momma out of the command.
Mothers everywhere...adoptive mothers, biological mothers, spiritual mothers...may I tell you....you are not an afterthought. Given any kind of halfway normal family dynamic (assuming your mother didn't send anyone to the hospital in a fit of rage) and especially if your mother was as wildly imperfect as I was (and am) as a parent, God totally expects a mother's children, grown or not, to honor her.
(this original, as well as a giclee, is available in my shop)
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