I Had a Dream

This song, "Dream", by Priscilla Ahn, speaks of those deep things, those deep dreams about being a mother, those dreams I cherished since I was "a little girl alone in my little world".

I really, really did feed my pretend houseguests bark and leaves. And oh, how I dreamt of having a little home of my own, with a husband to love me, and children to read books to at night.

God and I created just such a life. The dreams all came true. He gave me the husband. He created the children, and I created their home. It has been a purposeful life, this whole blessed thing of raising little ones, giving them roots and wings.

My oldest daughter got married last year. My youngest-by-thirty-seconds daughter is about to be married. My oldest son has had his own apartment for awhile now, and is about to become a Marine and live on the other side of the world...or maybe a police officer, and live across town. My youngest son will be a senior next year, and has very suddenly done some growing up lately.

I never thought I'd be looking back on almost every bit of it. I lived it full and lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. And now, a brand new chapter in life lies just ahead.

I am ready now to fly...

What's next for me? For my beloved and I?

I am nearly done with this season of mothering young ones, and I am sadder than I ever thought I'd be about it. With the end in sight, I pray with all my heart that I finish well. If I have done my job right, this has to be a life I am willing to leave.

Soon. But not yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was a little girl alone in my little world who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees, and fed my houseguests bark and leaves, and laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark through woods grown behind the park, I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me, God answered in silent reverie. I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly from the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey. I don't know what's left to say about this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well, there's many tales I've lived to tell. I'm ready now, I'm ready now, I'm ready now to fly from the highest wing.

I had a dream...


Thrift Scoring...

Yes, "scoring". There is an art to "thrift storing", I confess. My daughters have it, I am acquiring it.

Today, I so scored.

In generations past, before we stopped caring about how we looked at home, and before there was google (sometimes I just want to say to a girl who obviously googled a book or a topic, and now thinks she can pretend like she knows, "Honey, I knew that before there was google.")...


...back then, the more artistic and soulful a woman was, the prettier she looked while she was cooking dinner...and the less she spent monetarily. Read in "The Tapestry" or "L'Abri" what Edith Schaeffer could do with a second-hand skirt, or a sweater with a moth-hole in it. Or a yard of leather and some furniture tacks.


You can buy stuff, but you can't buy style. You can build a house, but only a wise woman builds a home.


I aspire to be wise. I aspire to live well on less, not because I have to, but because I can. It is noble, and it takes intelligence and heart. At least I know ahead of time what I will be wearing on Sunday. This is saying a lot, since this will be a busy weekend in which I will be working on wedding details, plus hosting a guest speaker in my home, followed by a long day spent at the educational co-op on Monday.


My whole life is in transition, and I want to be well dressed for it. Girlfriend, what we wear tomorrow morning is about the only thing we have any control over. Work it.

Looking good is the best revenge. Besides, it is the only revenge preacher's wives are allowed, and they certainly better not spend too much money doing it, either.

Tell me what you think:



Vintage necklace was a gift from a friend...

I've wanted a sweater dress all winter. Retail price? At least fifty bucks for a nice one. More, if you want it really well made. This one is merino wool, from American Eagle Outfitters, fits like a dream, and cost me $6. The Levi's denim jacket, in brand new condition, also $6. This is what I'm wearing Sunday.


Looking ahead to spring! Brand new, never worn sandals from Ann Taylor. Retail price, $48. My price? $2.

Vintage pink shirt dress - in new condition - $2. I took the shoulder pads out, and it is the cutest thing on. I am so wearing this around the house when the weather gets warm. I will do dishes and mop floors in this.



A sweater wrap dress - my big splurge at $9. It ties in the back, and you can't see it, but the front drape is so designer, and so lovely - slightly asymmetrical. My only puzzle is what color camisole to wear under it.

In the interests of encouraging each other to "reduce, reuse, recycle", I am going to try to make thrift store shopping a regular feature on my blog. (Weekly? Monthly?) It will encourage me to get out there and get the creative juices flowing. What I am really hoping for is a beautiful piece of furniture from which I can create a "before" and "after".

After the wedding.

Oh, The Power of One ~

"How can one family affect anything? One person battling away to put selfish interests aside, to put other people before herself or himself, even for a fraction of time, day by day, how could that help?

. . . One family and the children of that family can do marvelous things to affect the world or devastating things to destroy it."


~Edith Schaeffer, from her incredible book, "What Is a Family?"

Pieces of Beauty...

...in the tapestry of life.


No. In the crazy quilt of life. That is, the crazy quilt that is my life. And I'm in love with it.

Our winter table....





I'm getting good at mix-n-match place settings! This brown transferware is receiving all my love these days...

Junk drawer. Pretty pencils.


My growing apron collection. Yes, I wear them all the time, and very much approve of myself when I do. Please disregard the Don Aslett microfiber sweeper-cloths, though I highly recommend them.



A pile of thrift store purses...I'm a fool for a thrifty purse.




A handmade gift from a niece named Katie...who, I believe, is a budding designer. Look what she makes with a pipe cleaner and a bit of paper!


From a child who I adore, whose name literally means, "Praise!"


Experimenting with wedding motif...



the back corner of my bedroom is piling up with all the Ingredients To A Perfect Vintage Wedding...


Flowers from my Hannah...


My inspiration wall...images that make me happy inside, a chalkboard with the wedding countdown, anything and everything that makes me smile.


Look around your life for bits and pieces of beauty. I venture to say you could snap a hundred pictures!

Random Musings...

I love Sundays, so much. Worship was saturated with God's presence today. Every time of corporate worship has its sweetness, but today was particularly sweet, do you know what I mean? The word of the Lord was fully released to the house, with a minimum of five different prophetic encouragements through various ones, as we all pressed into His grace this morning. Then my father brought the corporate word - a timely exhortation to faith, an exhortation that was fully supported by the previous prophetic words, by the way...without anyone knowing what my dad was going to preach.



Our church experience, week in and week out, is so very apart from the World of the Mega Church, and I couldn't be gladder...if gladder is a word. I'd rather not have my corporate experience carefully crafted for me and presented to me. How demeaning. I want to participate, and engage the messiness of humanity and real relationships and know the mixed blessing of proximity.



Proximity is a mixed blessing, because when you become truly intimate with someone...be it your mate, a friend, or a pastor...you will see the flaws. Can you even handle it?? It is the price you pay for closeness. In Big Church World, most are spared the blessing of proximity. Most don't know their pastor intimately enough to know his every flaw. Most have not gotten to know each other well enough to get through that season of not even liking them anymore. So it all feels comfortable, and everyone "likes" everyone else.



In my church, pretty much every one of us have persevered in the context of proximity, sacrificing our mini-gods of personal peace and affluence, loving each other enough to weather the season of not liking each other. Makes me smile. It is precisely at the point of proximity, that the men are separated from the boys. It takes maturity to know more than you wanted to know about someone, and decide you still love them and want to fellowship with them.



Speaking of maturity, versus immaturity - what about former UT football coach Lane Kiffen? He comes in, declaring his love for the students, his commitment to the program, and leaves very, very suddenly.

All Tim and I know for sure is that a true leader sticks and stays. The Bible says a false leader ("shepherd") leaves an "organization" suddenly. How a man leaves anything...a job or a church or a relationship or a party...will forever characterize him. Every man will proclaim his own goodness, but a faithful man, who can find?



Last night, my daughter and her husband came over with a custom-made gift for their dad. Oh, the dark humor that bubbles in the genetic stew of this family!



We laughed so loud, and so long.

I hope your Sunday has been blessed with the proximity of God's people, and with the sweetness of His presence. I pray your church has been a laundromat today - that your mind was washed by the water of the Word! I pray you were made clean by the Word spoken; that the spirit of your mind was renewed and refreshed. I pray you were an integral participant in all facets of worship today, instead of a passive consumer of a pre-packaged experience, presented to you...however expertly presented, that is not church life.

Church life is far harder and infinitely better than that.

Haiti On My Heart

There isn't much to post about in the usual way...not this week. Haiti is so heavy on my heart. Please pray for peace in the streets of Port-Au-Prince and surrounding areas. (Well, peace in what used to be called streets, which were not streets as we know them, even before the earthquake. Haiti's infrastructure was terrible before this tragedy.)

All the devastation in Haiti brings into stark significance the efforts of all God's people there. Every soul brought into the kingdom mattered to God. Some who have perished this week, I am certain had just believed the good news of the gospel within the past month or the past year. All who have recently reached out to the nation of Haiti (whether preaching to her lost, or strengthening her indigenous pastors) should be filled with holy fear - their work was not in vain, in the Lord. God knew what was coming.

My husband told me yesterday, with tears in his eyes, that the Scripture keeps coming to him, "Hell hath enlarged itself." There have been many lives lost, who had not yet heard the gospel, or accepted Christ. This too should fill us with a holy fear and urgency.

Tim has been to Haiti many times over the years, and so he carries vivid pictures in his heart of what all this chaos and devastation must feel like over there. The primary prayer need - even over basic necessities right now - is for a supernatural peace to settle over Haiti. This, friends, only God can do. But peace is urgently needed, so that relief supplies can be brought in, in an organized fashion.

May God speak peace to the raging storm. Peace, Haiti....peace, be still.

Ps 34:18 The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a crushed spirit.

This Season of Harvest


Harvest Church has sent many on short term missions trips - too many for me to try and count them all up. And we, along with other Master Builder's churches, support several long term, career missionaries.


But we...Harvest Church...sent out our very first long term missionary this past Sunday. We held a special service Sunday evening, commissioning Jonathan Trentham (lovingly called Jon-O), who is, even as I type, on his way to Kampot, Cambodia to work full time with Lighthouse Ministries orphanage, and their church planting efforts, led by Lewis and Kristin Burke.


Jonathan's parents, Kevin and Angela, drove from North Carolina to proudly join us in sending off their son into the work of the ministry. I admire them so much for their open hearts...open to us, open to Harvest Church, open to sending their son into a sometimes-dangerous place for the sake of the gospel. We enjoyed what little time we were able to grab with them, having heart-to-heart conversation, and establishing a unity of purpose with which I know God is pleased. Jon-O, I hear, comes from missionary stock. His parents have raised a good, good man.

There wasn't a dry eye in the sanctuary this past Sunday evening...we concluded the commissioning service with a party at the Kear home - where it felt like "you couldn't stir 'em with a stick!" Then, bright and early Monday morning, Jonathan said his final goodbye's at McGhee-Tyson airport.

Jon-O, we all will miss you. This is indeed a corporate sending, deeply felt and rejoiced over by each of us. Godspeed, dear one.


(Many thanks to Angela Trentham, Jonathan's sweet mom, for these shots...)


A time of worship - singing "sending songs"...

Our Emily, playing her violin beautifully, as usual...

Pastor Tim, preaching a "sending message"...

A word of wisdom from Kevin, Jonathan's father..."Hands on the plow, son, do not look back, do not be distracted."

Praying sending prayers...

Bittersweet going away party...


That's Jon-O, the tall guy in the black shirt...


Our young missionary...





Kevin and Angela, and their young arrow, released strong and straight and true, into the nations! Congratulations, mom and dad!