______ + ______ = _______
{with one or two of the values filled in, of course, depending on the skill being taught.}
I want to coach you for a minute, if you are okay with that. I want to give you an assignment - one that is guaranteed to bring out the very best that is already inside you, by grace through faith, if you are a follower of Christ.
And of course, there is a playsheet being developed for my original coaching technique, as we speak.
First, I want you to think of every positive emotion you would like to feel. I want you to think of the desired outcome...the "sum" of the equation.
To put this another way: If presented with a closet of choices, do we want to put on the joy dress, or the peaceful dress, or the calm and loving dress, or the successful dress today?
Often, this is a brand new idea - this notion that we can choose how we want to feel. We are not at the mercy of our circumstances, and we cannot blame someone else for how we feel. No, not even our husband.
{YOU GET TO CHOOSE HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL}
The minute you make your feelings someone else's fault, you are playing the victim card.
Nothing good can come of it. Please hear me: Nothing. Good.
So yeah, think of several really juicy, wonderful, positive feelings.
This exercise is based on the premise (the solidly Biblical premise) that our thoughts create feelings, AND our actions create feelings.
Many, many, many coaches will teach you that thoughts create feelings. But most put the continuum like this:
Circumstances trigger Thoughts trigger Feelings trigger Actions trigger Results.
It's true. But it isn't the whole truth.
The whole truth is, Biblically we can also act how we want to feel. (This truth sometimes goes by the dirty word called obedience) .
This week - right now, even - I want you to meditate about how you really want to feel in your life. Think of God honoring feelings, fullness-of-joy, abundant living feelings...that is what I want you to list. Go on and list as many as you can.
Then, pick the top 3 ways you want to feel...the ways you wish with all your heart that you could feel, "if only"....
Insert one of those feelings to the right of the "=" sign, in your math equation.
Secondly, what meditation...what "true truth" about God or about yourself or about your husband or about your circumstances...would create that feeling? What would happen if you simply chose that thought, and decided to believe it and receive it by faith? Put that meditation in either blank, to the left of the "=" sign, in your math equation.
Lastly, what action would "seal" or validate or back up or act out that thought? It could be as simple as singing a song, or complimenting a loved one, or being a little more generous with your money than you are accustomed to being. If you really believed that righteous thought, what would you be doing? Boil it down to one word (maybe two) and insert into the last blank, to the left of your "=" sign, in your math equation.
Then do that action.
Keep doing that action. Keep meditating on that true truth.
It might look like this: God loves me + release all fear of scarcity = Feeling Safe and Sure
Or, your equation might look like this: "I want to feel peace about my prodigal sons." (That one may or may not be autobiographical.) I recommend that you choose a thought that lines up with the word of God - "God loves them more than I do"...or "He is married to the backslider". The act
Therefore,
The Lord is married to them + the prayer "How You love them!" = Peace
Every time fear presents itself, return to your meditation, and then quickly pray.
I also recommend that you spend time with the peaceful thought. Linger. Absorb it. Inject it. Speak it to your soul.
Lather, rinse, repeat. It's kind of a plug and play game! Have fun with it...discover God and yourself with it. Discover how utterly unchangeable God is, and how completely confused you often are, and discover how empowering it is to take steps to choose a thought and act in a way that would give you a desired feeling.
This + This = This
As surely as day follows night, if you do your daily math assignment, your heart will begin to beat with a positive emotion. It will be full of a noble theme, and your tongue will become the pen of a ready writer (to quote the Psalmist).
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