Hey, Soul Sister! {Let's Talk About Our Middle-Aged Souls}

                                            (Prints and cards of this can be purchased here )

In his book, Mid-Life Course Correction , which I highly highly recommend, and in fact if you are  going to be in any "In the Middle" class that I teach, will be mandatory reading...

...in this highly recommended book (did I already say that?) Gordon MacDonald talks about the time when he was counseling a man who was in a full blown mid-life crisis.  He suggested to him to "designate a 45 day period during which you will dabble in studying the architecture of your whole life in order to set it on an entirely new course..."

Obviously, MacDonald was not telling this man to quit his job, or to become someone he wasn't, or divorce his wife, buy some sheep and chickens and "reinvent himself" in some dramatic way.  No, the most profound course corrections are the shifts in attitude. 

Always, always act from a fresh, new, optimistic, Christ-centered attitude.  Never make decisions when you are feeling discontent or at loose ends or depressed.  Actually, I cannot emphasize that enough.  Address the inner first, always.  The outer will follow.

It never works in reverse.

That's all we are doing, here.  We are taking 31 days to find a fresh, new outlook on this all-important middle-time of life.  After all, your middle entirely determines your end.  The choices you make here in your middle determine your outcome in a more profound way than even the choices you made when you began.

The Bible says nothing in particular about middle age, because the Bible tells us everything we need to know about middle age.  We truly need not consult any other oracle.  We aren't looking for text about middle age, we are looking for a context for middle age. 

Scripture gives us rich context.

"Sing and rejoice, O daughter of Zion:  for lo, I come, and I will dwell in your middle, saith the Lord." 
(Zechariah 2:10, quoted with only slight poetic license.  Look it up for yourself...)

31 Days of Celebrating Middle Age {Dress That Body}

Can I get an Amen?

The Message says it this way: 

"Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile."

Being a preacher's wife - and of a small church - I know all about being frugal.  In fact, I would risk saying I can probably afford expensive clothes less than many people I know.

But I am worth more than the sale rack at Wal-Mart, and so are you.  You can get "well-made and elegant" from a thrift store for less than the Wal-Mart sale racks, you just have to know what to look for and how to look for it.

This has been something that has always meant a great deal to me, having been a fashionista all my life.  The amazing grace is, is that God has always seemed to provide for me, in this area.  And The Preacher loves it when I dress up, he loves my style, and wants me to look as good as I can for the budget we have.

The tiny budget we have.

If this is a sore spot with you, first I encourage you to take it to the Lord.  Ask Him why you can't seem to get into wearing pretty things.  It could be because of many root issues, all the way from childhood trauma, to current weight issues, to money issues, to a struggle with gender identity.  Just know this, dear one - it is normal and natural and healthy to want to look beautiful.  Seek healing and restoration in this area of your life, but seek it slowly.  It will come.

Next I encourage you to seek out a fashionista friend.  Find a woman who really knows how to dress for her body type, because chances are, she can tell you how to dress for yours!

If you are blessed enough to find a friend with that kind of time, ask her to come play in your closet with you - your own personal "What Not To Wear" session.  Toss what has not been working for you.

Go on...do it.

Here's my version of "silk and purple":

Sorry for the fuzzy iphone picture and my crazy "mood/inspiration wall" to the left, but Fit 3 jeans from Target are my life.  My world.  My best friends.

Okay, so I exaggerate.  But I do have 3 pair, gotten half price this past early-summer, and they are all I wear.  I own them in dark skinnies, long skinnies (the upturned cuff at the bottom is all the rage right now), and boot leg faded.  I got rid of pretty much every other pair of jeans I owned...ask my daughter Hannah.  She got them all.

Put them with a white T-shirt and some cute flats and a great belt, and you are done, girlfriend.

Silk and purple - a little bit country, a little bit rock n' roll.  Like me.

If you need more inspiration, join Jeanne Oliver's creative community and check out Paige Knudsen's class entitled "Let's Play Dress Up".  Joining the creative community is free.  Paige's class is just $10!

31 Days {...of celebrating middle age...I know, right? It's weird.}

S - Stretch and Strengthen
W - Water
A - Aerobic
P - Portion Control

Your middle aged body needs way less food than it used to.  As in way, way less.  As in, "actually exactly go by those illustrated portion control posters" less - and yes, I will be sharing that with you later in this post. 

But more than any picture that tells you never to eat a piece of skinless chicken bigger than a deck of cards, I want to ask you to get in touch with your feelings.

Not the feelings that make you cry and drink red wine and eat chocolate.  (Though swearing, red wine, and chocolate make me a nicer person.  The way I see it, I am serving my Preacher when I indulge in all three from time to time - now and then, all at the same time.  It's the most unselfish thing I can do for him.)

I am taking about your feelings of hunger and fullness, or hunger and satiation.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and given a chance, your body knows when it is hungry, and it knows when it is just satisfied.  That point when you are no longer starving, but not stuffed.

Satisfied.

Sometimes, I promise, that is only three bites.

But it's three bites of whatever-the-heck you want, no calorie counting, no worrying about fat grams or carbs or gluten.  Just listening deeply to your own body.  (Obviously I am not talking to those with diagnosed allergies to gluten - that is another topic and another blog besides mine, as I am not allergic to anything but legalists.  Ahem.)

You might think that, when you take "the law" off even your physical body, that your body will react violently by demanding...well, red wine and chocolate...24/7.

You might crave those things - so have some.  Honestly, if you are normal at all, eventually you will want spinach.  And almonds.  And grilled chicken.  And fruit.  Call it the "grace diet", call it what you will, all I know is that it works, and it is backed by sound nutritional science.  (Read the work of Debra Waterhouse here  and here  and here)

No laws.  Not even for food.  Actually, that's Biblical - as in, New Covenant Biblical.  Within reason, using the common sense God gave us, we can bless our food - "sanctifying it with thanksgiving" - and partake of anything we wish.

Now, just so you have a place to start, here is that poster that tells you all those interesting portion sizes:

I have unnaturally small hands (not even lying) so this can be a problem for me.

The only law you need live under, is the perfect law of liberty.  You can do all things in Christ, including enjoy food again, be healthy, know when you are hungry and know when you are satisfied, and watch those portions.

Aerobic {SWAP that Middle Aged Body}

Welcome to 31 Days of Celebrating Middle Age!

S - Stretch and Strengthen
W - Water
A - Aerobic
P - Portion Control

Notice I didn't write "aerobicS"...I wrote "aerobic".  Aerobic simply means "with oxygen". 

No one burns fat without oxygen.  In fact, the whole reason aerobics (with an "s") as we used to know it works, is that the increased intake of oxygen fires up your body's fat burning capacity. 

So I want to tell you the 80/20 exercise secret - the 20% of your effort that will yield 80% of your desired result:

Deep breathing.

Walking...while deep breathing.

No, seriously.  Come back!  I mean it!  Those two things, they are like magic, man.  Not even lying.

Once again, "aerobic" just means "with oxygen".  No treadmill required - I hate those things.  Get outside, where your body has to adapt to hot or cold weather.

Those two things, deep breathing and walking, will revolutionize your life if they haven't already (and if you already do them, you can happily move on to the blog that celebrates "31 Days of Stuff I Never Heard Before"):

Remember when "aerobic" meant this:

My sister and I actually did this:



I can hear you now:  "Oh. No.  You.  Di-in't."

Oh.  Yes.  We.  Did.

Ask our children.  Ask their therapist.  (Just kidding...they didn't get therapy.  They still carry the scars, actually.)

Aren't you glad I am not sharing that resource?

Here is what I know will make a big difference for you:

Jumpstart Your Metabolism  by Pam Grout.

Just like with the Miracle Ball method, I shared this book with a friend, this time another pastor's wife.  I gave it to her to take home with her when she and her husband were visiting with us for a week.  She later let me know that it blessed her immeasurably.  She was noticeably calmer, more serene, and had lots more energy and had even dropped a few pounds.

disclaimer:  My pastor's wife friend is a big girl, and a sharp thinker.  I think you are too.  I am trusting you to be a good sorter...a good gleaner...and discard any New Age mumbo jumbo blah blah blah that you may find in this book, and keep some of the great deep breathing exercises...mmmm-kay?

Once you master just a few deep breathing techniques, combine them with your daily prayer walk. 



I think you'll be amazed.

SWAP That Body {31 Days of Celebrating Middle Age}

No one , with the exception of those with injuries who need physical therapy, has to have a gym to become fit.  I will say it again:  to any girl who insists she has to have a gym, I will simply tell her to "drop and give me 50".

Push-ups.  I promise, if you do as many as you can, every other day, they will be effective.

Or how about just 25 burpees?

But first, before metaphorical girl takes me up on my challenge, she better be hydrated.

Seriously, water - pure, clean water - is the singlemost important adjustment you can make to your overall health, if you have (like me) not been drinking enough.

S - stretch and strengthen
W - water
A - aerobics
P - portion control


Today I want to bless you with a(nother) resource and a recipe.

Your Body's Many Cries for Water

Before I give you a synopsis of this book, I am first compelled to go get me a big glass of filtered water...no, really.  I will be right back.

Here is a summary, as stated on the page at Amazon.com



For the first time in medical history, F. Batmanghelidj, M.D., has identified the crisis calls of the body for water --pain, asthma, diabetes, hypertension, multiple sclerosis, chronic fatigue syndrome, and more. He has discovered the key to a longer, healthier, and more vigorous life. He shares with you his medical breakthrough that many people put their minds and bodies under intolerable and unnecessary stress and become sick simply because they do not drink enough water. Unintentional dehydration leads to illness and painful, degenerative diseases that can be prevented, treated, and cure by drinking plenty of water.

You will learn how to use water to:

 * Prevent and reverse premature aging
* Eliminate pains including heartburn, back pain, arthritis, colitis pain, anginal pain, migraine              headaches
* Cure asthma in a few days, naturally and forever
* Cure hypertension without diuretics or other medication
* Lose weight effortlessly and naturally, without strict dieting

It is very important that your water be filtered.  The Preacher and I were gifted with this water filter, several years ago, and it is completely amazing.  Contact me  if you don't have an Amway distributor, and are interested in purchasing the best filter money can buy. 

I am not an Amway distributor, and I make nothing by connecting you with the person who gave us our Amway water filter. 


Here is "my"  recipe for healthy, sugar-free lemonade...a great way to  both increase your water
intake, and get the amazing detoxing benefits of lemon...



~ Have your Preacher drill a hole in the lid of one of your canning jars
~ buy some cute pink striped straws
~the juice of one lemon
~a small canning jar of (filtered) water
~a packet of Stevia
~a slice of said lemon

shake, shake...shake, shake...

Enjoy.

Stretch and Strengthen {Your Middle Aged Body}

Disclaimer:  the woman in the above photo is not me.

From the time I was a wee thing, touching my toes has not come naturally.  I've never been overweight, per se, just wildly inflexible.  Guess what factor, as we age, is one of the most important in overall health and vitality?

Flexibility.  Otherwise known as "range of motion".

Lucky me.

Since I myself am rather inflexible by birth, and have fought vicious lower back pain in my middle age, I have had to find good resources in my quest to Stretch and Strengthen.  I'm excited to share my sources - one of which has been "life changing" to a young woman in our church.  (Her words, not mine...)

The first resource is a classic.  (Meaning:  its old.)  Honestly, though, you cannot improve upon it.  I've researched it, so trust me on this.  This is the best resource out there:

 


A book entitled Stretch and Strengthen by Judy Alter  (and no, I am not an Amazon affiliate.  I make all of nothing if you click that link and buy the book...)

The next resource has done me a world of good, when I actually do it, and it has literally been life changing for a young woman in my church, to whom I recommended the following:

The Miracle Ball Method  by Elaine Petrone


There is no need for an expensive gym membership, just to strengthen your body.  Sometimes, and depending on the location, a gym can be so...so...either "college girl" (cheap gym) or it might scream "I am a woman of a certain age" (posh gym).  Let's strike the middle, shall we?  Let's be different.  Renegade.  Wonderfully outside that box...the one with all the equipment and the heated indoor pool.

Try this app, available for iphone and android, called You Are Your Own Gym

Any woman who actually believes she needs a gym membership to get in shape - I will ask her to drop and give me 50 push-ups.  Bam.  Simple as that.

I have always been a big believer in strengthening using your own body weight.  (Well, I've always believed in it ever since I was a certified fitness trainer in my very early years, who taught everyone else the proper form on all the machines and the free weights.  I became convinced at a young age that there was a better way)


If you were heretofore unaware of these treasures, this one post alone is worth the price of admission. 

I'm so glad you came by to see me today...

Your {Middle Age} Body

Welcome to 31 Days of Celebrating Middle Age!

You just can't address the topic of middle age, without addressing a woman's middle aged body.  (And dressing a woman's middle aged body - but that is for later in this series!)  The fact is, and we all know this:  In spite of every effort, our bodies and our beauty will continue to age.

Oh goody.  Isn't that just precious?

The good news is, you are as young as you will ever be right now, today.  Live it, to the full!

The bad news is, you are as young as you will ever be right now, today.  Take care of your temple.  It's your "brick house", honey.  It's mighty-mighty.

::cough::

I will admit to you that where it concerns self-care, I still "see men as trees walking".  In other words, I am still working on some things, and God is still at work in me.  All I know, is what I know, and I am happy to share that with you.

I want to teach you how to SWAP your body.  Doesn't that sound just like a hit funk song by Chaka Kahn?  (And doesn't every good teacher love an acronym?) 

I know, right?  You want me to stop bragging and carry on with my FBS (my Funky Bad Self).  You can't even believe I made that term up all by myself.

But I did.

SWAP.  It's the 80/20 principle of self care.  (...the 20% of your efforts that get you 80% of the desired result.)

SWAP.  It's the I-Ching of health.

SWAP.  It's the new 40, the new black, the new rage.

SWAP.  It's what works for me, and it's about all I know.

S tretch and Strengthen

Water 

Aerobic 

Portion control 

At risk of sounding overly-funky, I'll say that I'll "break it down" for you in the coming days...you won't want to miss it.

{Look up over your head! Right now! That disco ball I ordered for you is dropping down. Dance break...dance break....dance break...}