I have had in my possession for many years, an unequaled classic by Brother Lawrence, "The Practice of the Presence of God" written over 300 years ago as a compilation of his personal letters to close friends.
Brother Lawrence left the presumed stillness and serenity of the countryside to join a Carmelite monastery. He came to deeply doubt the effectiveness of the whole "alone with God all the time" lifestyle, wishing instead to live with a brotherhood. He felt, and I quote, "Life within such a group is based on the firm rock of Jesus Christ, rather than on the shifting sands of individual devotion. Also the members of the group could edify and exhort one another, thus protecting themselves against the changeableness of their individual whims."
Brother Lawrence was known as a hard worker, and one for whom no job was too small. He said, "To think we must abandon conversation with God in order to deal with the world is erroneous."
One of Brother Lawrence's close friends wrote this about him, "He thought it was a shame that some people pursued certain activities, mistaking the means for the end. " In one of his letters, Lawrence himself wrote, "The only requirement is that we place our confidence entirely on God. Abandon any other concerns, including any special devotions you have undertaken simply as a means to an end. God is our end. If we are diligently practicing His presence, we won't need our former means."
"The King, who is full of goodness and mercy, does not punish me. Rather, He embraces me lovingly, and invites me to eat at His table. He serves me Himself, and gives me the keys to His treasury...He converses with me without mentioning my sins or His forgiveness. My former habits are seemingly forgotten."
"The most intimate union with God is the practice of His presence. The actual presence of God. Although this relationships with God is totally spiritual, it is quite dynamic, because the soul is not asleep, rather, it is powerfully excited! In this state, the soul is livelier than fire, and brighter than the unclouded sun, yet at the same time, it is tender and devout."
Because God led Brother Lawrence more by love than by the fear of His judgement, his counsel tended to inspire the same kind of love. He encouraged other Christians to rely on God's love to lead them, rather than the knowledge of learned men. He used to tell his brothers, "It is the Creator who teaches truth, who in one moment instructs the heart of the humble and makes him understand more about faith and even about Himself, than if he had studied them for a long term of years.
It was for this reason Brother Lawrence carefully avoided answering those curious questions that lead nowhere, and only served to burden the spirit and dry up the heart.
He walked in deep revelation of grace, and I close with this quote, which I also embrace as my own. Brother Lawrence said it first, but hear it being said in my own voice, those of you who know what my voice sounds like:
"If you think of me, remember the grace with which God has blessed me rather than my typically human ineptitude."
I'll be here, practicing the presence of God the way Br. Lawrence taught me, the way some practice music or speaking a language or practice yoga. I'll be here, busy but refreshed, bustling but calm, praying to God and hearing from God as I go about the business of my day, as well as setting aside "quiet time". Both setting aside time to pray, and praying without ceasing, with full and equal awareness of God's presence is the secret. A full life and full schedule is something to be delighted in, and I want to thank Brother Lawrence, when I see him someday, for teaching me the secret of practicing God's presence, even when I am in the midst of the most busy, stressful, or tedious event. There is an art to it...I almost dare to say you'd have difficulty learning it apart from this great work, "The Practice of the Presence of God" by Brother Lawrence.
He was a man of great grace revelation.
Tired For All the Right Reasons
So much being written these days about "quiet stillness" and "slowing down" and "taking time to just be". I've been the source of some of it in recent months and years! How boring. How overdone.
And here I go ("again", my grumpy critics would say - all critics are grumpy)
Fine. Here I go again...contradicting my own self.
I am so comfortable with that. First of all, life is full of paradox and replete with contradiction. I can have a good day and a bad day, all in the same day! I want to live a simplified-sort of life, yet I want to accomplish a thousand worthy goals. I can love someone and sometimes not like them. The only thing I can't do is care and not care enough to take responsibility at the same time. But I hear that some folks manage to do it. If that is you, please tell me your secret. Because when I don't take responsibility, I would have to admit that it is because I don't care.
But in general, I am on good terms with contradiction. I understand it. Rainbows cannot exist without two seeming opposites (sun, rain) coming together.
Think of me as the personification of a rainbow. I am colorful. I am a study in contrasts. Get over it. I don't care, and therefore refuse to be responsible. It's my blog. If it bothers you, go read someone boringly bored-in on one perspective. Go read the stilted paragraphs of an intellectual knot-on-a-log, who just happens to be really trying hard to think pretty, happy thoughts, to compensate for being innately grumpy about everyone else's salvation. Go read an Arminian. Me? I happen to own it all! (see blog post from August entitled "I Own That")
Contradiction, contrast, paradox, mystery...it all belongs to me, and it all fills me with unjaded - and some tell me contagious - delight.
So. I'm completely worn out, and it is wonderful. My life is anything BUT quiet and sweet and still-ly serene, and that's something to be jealous of. I've learned that all that "simple, quiet" stuff is all so much bull, anyway. Two types of people carry on about being quiet and serene, as if it were better than being beautiful and busy: people who are bored with too much time on their hands, or people who have not yet mastered the art of inner stillness, regardless of outer circumstances.
No one has the authority to talk to you about the stillness of God unless they are currently in the middle of the busiest, most complicated season of their life. No one has the authority to talk to you about scheduling unless they don't have the time to talk to you about scheduling, but they fit it into their schedule anyway. No one has the authority to talk to you about joy unless they are always smiling, after having to fight for their joy. No one has the authority to talk to you about mending fences unless they have mended most of theirs, and no one has the authority to talk to you about relationships unless they are busy loving a whole lot of people.
No one has the authority to talk to you about authority unless they themselves are under authority.
Yeah - Biblical logic trumps everything.
I've been too busy on one side, and I've been too still on the other side. Being too busy is better.
See...being too still makes you feel exhausted. Being too busy makes you feel exhausted, but for all the right reasons.
And that kind of exhaustion is both appropriate and curable. All it takes to cure that kind of fatigue is a bath or a nap. I find myself awakening early in this season of my life, feeling rested and ready most days. I typically lay in bed for awhile longer, savoring the start of a new day, and that is about all the "quiet time" I ever see.
I have recently decided that...honestly, now...I love it. I'm tired, and I'm delighted! I'm worn out from doing the work of tending relationships, and diving into new friendships, sink or swim! I'm tired from the creative outflow of writing, planting, harvesting, helping others, growing, mastering new skills, making new intellectual connections and maintaining all I've studied so far. It takes a whole lot of effort to do what you know!
Next year, I might prattle on about the simple, still life again. If I do, I hope I find a way to make it interesting. For now, I'm burning the candle at both ends, and it feels like a party.
It is both healthy and desirable to burn the candle at both ends, when you can afford another box of candles anytime you want them. An empty schedule equals an empty life. My daytimer is crammed full of names and events.
Such a full life. Makes me tired, just writing about it.
And here I go ("again", my grumpy critics would say - all critics are grumpy)
Fine. Here I go again...contradicting my own self.
I am so comfortable with that. First of all, life is full of paradox and replete with contradiction. I can have a good day and a bad day, all in the same day! I want to live a simplified-sort of life, yet I want to accomplish a thousand worthy goals. I can love someone and sometimes not like them. The only thing I can't do is care and not care enough to take responsibility at the same time. But I hear that some folks manage to do it. If that is you, please tell me your secret. Because when I don't take responsibility, I would have to admit that it is because I don't care.
But in general, I am on good terms with contradiction. I understand it. Rainbows cannot exist without two seeming opposites (sun, rain) coming together.
Think of me as the personification of a rainbow. I am colorful. I am a study in contrasts. Get over it. I don't care, and therefore refuse to be responsible. It's my blog. If it bothers you, go read someone boringly bored-in on one perspective. Go read the stilted paragraphs of an intellectual knot-on-a-log, who just happens to be really trying hard to think pretty, happy thoughts, to compensate for being innately grumpy about everyone else's salvation. Go read an Arminian. Me? I happen to own it all! (see blog post from August entitled "I Own That")
Contradiction, contrast, paradox, mystery...it all belongs to me, and it all fills me with unjaded - and some tell me contagious - delight.
So. I'm completely worn out, and it is wonderful. My life is anything BUT quiet and sweet and still-ly serene, and that's something to be jealous of. I've learned that all that "simple, quiet" stuff is all so much bull, anyway. Two types of people carry on about being quiet and serene, as if it were better than being beautiful and busy: people who are bored with too much time on their hands, or people who have not yet mastered the art of inner stillness, regardless of outer circumstances.
No one has the authority to talk to you about the stillness of God unless they are currently in the middle of the busiest, most complicated season of their life. No one has the authority to talk to you about scheduling unless they don't have the time to talk to you about scheduling, but they fit it into their schedule anyway. No one has the authority to talk to you about joy unless they are always smiling, after having to fight for their joy. No one has the authority to talk to you about mending fences unless they have mended most of theirs, and no one has the authority to talk to you about relationships unless they are busy loving a whole lot of people.
No one has the authority to talk to you about authority unless they themselves are under authority.
Yeah - Biblical logic trumps everything.
I've been too busy on one side, and I've been too still on the other side. Being too busy is better.
See...being too still makes you feel exhausted. Being too busy makes you feel exhausted, but for all the right reasons.
And that kind of exhaustion is both appropriate and curable. All it takes to cure that kind of fatigue is a bath or a nap. I find myself awakening early in this season of my life, feeling rested and ready most days. I typically lay in bed for awhile longer, savoring the start of a new day, and that is about all the "quiet time" I ever see.
I have recently decided that...honestly, now...I love it. I'm tired, and I'm delighted! I'm worn out from doing the work of tending relationships, and diving into new friendships, sink or swim! I'm tired from the creative outflow of writing, planting, harvesting, helping others, growing, mastering new skills, making new intellectual connections and maintaining all I've studied so far. It takes a whole lot of effort to do what you know!
Next year, I might prattle on about the simple, still life again. If I do, I hope I find a way to make it interesting. For now, I'm burning the candle at both ends, and it feels like a party.
It is both healthy and desirable to burn the candle at both ends, when you can afford another box of candles anytime you want them. An empty schedule equals an empty life. My daytimer is crammed full of names and events.
Such a full life. Makes me tired, just writing about it.
"These Are the Precious Times..."
Our college-career small group. (Well, the man standing is in his 50's, but he's a nurse-anesthetist, and that is a career, after all! He also sort of owns the house. L-R Chris, Matthew, Bruce, Jillian)
Our Emily...incredibly dear...highly gifted musician...intelligent college student, University of Tennessee..."helping the kitty down from the roof." (Hint: Kitty was perfectly happy right where she was.)
It was starting to get chilly...
A time of sweet worship...(L-R, Josiah, Johnathan, Sarah, Emily, Kate...more students were there, not in the frame.)
That's Tim, in the Old Navy hoodie...and me...worshipping while getting a neck-rub from my youngest, Isaac. (small disclaimer: our college group is not typically open to high schoolers, but since Tim and I lead it, we sometimes bring our youngest with us. If we left him home alone for every responsibility we had to fulfill, he would truly be home alone raising himself much of the time. Can't do that, now, can we?)Extraordinarily Happy Ordinary Days
Here I sit, blogging away, I hear the sound of the NFL football game floating in from the livingroom (my youngest son and my husband have this Monday night man-ritual), the voices of my newly married daughter and her husband (who are spending the night here tonight, just for kicks, in her old room) and the laughter of my other daughter Sarah, as she doubtless is on the phone with her beloved.
Josiah (oldest son) called me today just to tell me that he loves me and to thank me - a simple thank you for sticking by him, keeping him near to my heart, and for being his mom. Does life get any sweeter?
He also wanted to tell me that a friend of his that he brought to our college-age small group yesterday, a young man who doesn't yet know Christ, thinks that I'm a really, really great mom. I think I must have also won the lottery and just don't know it yet, because...well, because life is just that good today.
This kid, Josiah's friend, wants to come to Harvest - and this is after hearing the gospel, through various college kids and Tim and me, all evening long last night.
All twenty of us sat around our friends' built-in firepit, on their gorgeous, huge new undulating back porch, all made of flagstone. Picture if you can, a postcard-perfect Federal Blue painted, slate roofed, post and beam home, without a single television inside that home anywhere, as you walk through...no TV exists in this historic home - just the sound of a wood burning stove, and soft instrumental music playing. You continue out to the back porch. There is a large blue barn, also post and beam constructed, behind us. To the side is a horse barn with two horses, and down from there, you see goats frolicking, and one by one the stars began to come out...shining incredibly brightly, there in the country where there is no city light whatsoever.
Yeah. That mental image is a metaphor for my life these days. Completely. Good.
If you tramp the acreage that is part of this property, you will find a creek - more like a small river. Spring-fed, and refreshingly cool in the summer, or so all the teenage boys of Harvest tell me.
Tim and I were graciously and sincerely told to schedule anything, at any time on their property...to make use of this very sought after space anytime we needed it. We won't be taking unfair advantage of such generosity, though this family is part of our church, but we couldn't help but tearily smile. Well, I tearily smiled. Tim just grinned.
When God closes a window, He opens a barn door, apparently.
(...members of Very Large Churches in our city regularly ask to schedule their events here, to be near this quaint setting, to make use of the post and beam barn...we get first dibs.)
We were full of baked beans, home made potato salad, and chili dogs, all graciously prepared by Lynn, and one by one three guitars popped out, and we began to sing. The owners of this property were glowing with joy, absolutely loving having this group meet at their home. We sang in the freezing cold, sitting close to the fire, for a long time. It was worship. Josiah's friend thought it a bit strange, I'm sure, but he enjoyed it so much he is coming back. I don't blame him.
The goodness of God was in quiet evidence in the people and the place - a pervasive peace blankets the Bower's property. I hope they realize that they are very much a part of the sowing that took place in that young man's life. When he gets saved, they will share in that reward. That is how hospitality works.
On another note (and an oh-so-random note at that) here is a picture of "my new baby". Yup. There's a brand new baby at the Atchley house. He is an early birthday present from Tim for me, and he is named after Cary Grant:
Grant, the pocket parrot. (Also known as a "parrotlet")
Grant, sitting on Isaac's shoulder...
Last but not least, I made something called "40 Clove Garlic Chicken" today:
I had to take a picture of forty cloves of garlic, piled on my cutting board!
(later note: I promise, I didn't realize the card was back there when I snapped the picture. I'm not flaunting it on purpose. ACK! I clicked on this picture, after posting it, and realized that you can see this card, plain as plain. Oh well. I'm leaving this picture here, just the way it is. That card sits where I've had it since I got it in the mail four days ago...it puts a smile on my face all the time.)
You place some celery, onions, and a large roasting chicken in the crockpot. Sprinkle the chicken generously with coarse salt, fresh cracked pepper, paprika, rosemary and thyme. Pile forty...you read right: forty. cloves. of. garlic. all around the chicken and switch on the crockpot.
After awhile, you will be treated to the tenderest, best chicken you have had in a long time. Guaranteed. Just don't eat the garlic...it is there to flavor the chicken, or maybe just to smell startlingly good for hours and hours.
In short, this blog is about church life. Which also happens to be my life. Harvest Church isn't a "place" as much as it is a way of living. You have to experience it to understand it. It is abundant living, challenging living....purposeful and passionate living. It is community. It is all things ordinary and exquisite and frustrating and tedious and glorious.
If you don't have a church home, come experience this life. If you have a church home - please....stick and stay there. The rewards are stunning.
Josiah (oldest son) called me today just to tell me that he loves me and to thank me - a simple thank you for sticking by him, keeping him near to my heart, and for being his mom. Does life get any sweeter?
He also wanted to tell me that a friend of his that he brought to our college-age small group yesterday, a young man who doesn't yet know Christ, thinks that I'm a really, really great mom. I think I must have also won the lottery and just don't know it yet, because...well, because life is just that good today.
This kid, Josiah's friend, wants to come to Harvest - and this is after hearing the gospel, through various college kids and Tim and me, all evening long last night.
All twenty of us sat around our friends' built-in firepit, on their gorgeous, huge new undulating back porch, all made of flagstone. Picture if you can, a postcard-perfect Federal Blue painted, slate roofed, post and beam home, without a single television inside that home anywhere, as you walk through...no TV exists in this historic home - just the sound of a wood burning stove, and soft instrumental music playing. You continue out to the back porch. There is a large blue barn, also post and beam constructed, behind us. To the side is a horse barn with two horses, and down from there, you see goats frolicking, and one by one the stars began to come out...shining incredibly brightly, there in the country where there is no city light whatsoever.
Yeah. That mental image is a metaphor for my life these days. Completely. Good.
If you tramp the acreage that is part of this property, you will find a creek - more like a small river. Spring-fed, and refreshingly cool in the summer, or so all the teenage boys of Harvest tell me.
Tim and I were graciously and sincerely told to schedule anything, at any time on their property...to make use of this very sought after space anytime we needed it. We won't be taking unfair advantage of such generosity, though this family is part of our church, but we couldn't help but tearily smile. Well, I tearily smiled. Tim just grinned.
When God closes a window, He opens a barn door, apparently.
(...members of Very Large Churches in our city regularly ask to schedule their events here, to be near this quaint setting, to make use of the post and beam barn...we get first dibs.)
We were full of baked beans, home made potato salad, and chili dogs, all graciously prepared by Lynn, and one by one three guitars popped out, and we began to sing. The owners of this property were glowing with joy, absolutely loving having this group meet at their home. We sang in the freezing cold, sitting close to the fire, for a long time. It was worship. Josiah's friend thought it a bit strange, I'm sure, but he enjoyed it so much he is coming back. I don't blame him.
The goodness of God was in quiet evidence in the people and the place - a pervasive peace blankets the Bower's property. I hope they realize that they are very much a part of the sowing that took place in that young man's life. When he gets saved, they will share in that reward. That is how hospitality works.
On another note (and an oh-so-random note at that) here is a picture of "my new baby". Yup. There's a brand new baby at the Atchley house. He is an early birthday present from Tim for me, and he is named after Cary Grant:
Grant, the pocket parrot. (Also known as a "parrotlet")
Grant, sitting on Isaac's shoulder...
Last but not least, I made something called "40 Clove Garlic Chicken" today:
I had to take a picture of forty cloves of garlic, piled on my cutting board!
(later note: I promise, I didn't realize the card was back there when I snapped the picture. I'm not flaunting it on purpose. ACK! I clicked on this picture, after posting it, and realized that you can see this card, plain as plain. Oh well. I'm leaving this picture here, just the way it is. That card sits where I've had it since I got it in the mail four days ago...it puts a smile on my face all the time.)
You place some celery, onions, and a large roasting chicken in the crockpot. Sprinkle the chicken generously with coarse salt, fresh cracked pepper, paprika, rosemary and thyme. Pile forty...you read right: forty. cloves. of. garlic. all around the chicken and switch on the crockpot.
After awhile, you will be treated to the tenderest, best chicken you have had in a long time. Guaranteed. Just don't eat the garlic...it is there to flavor the chicken, or maybe just to smell startlingly good for hours and hours.
In short, this blog is about church life. Which also happens to be my life. Harvest Church isn't a "place" as much as it is a way of living. You have to experience it to understand it. It is abundant living, challenging living....purposeful and passionate living. It is community. It is all things ordinary and exquisite and frustrating and tedious and glorious.
If you don't have a church home, come experience this life. If you have a church home - please....stick and stay there. The rewards are stunning.
Interesting Bits from Other Places
Grace Vs. Deliverance
By: Preston Gillham
Proverbs 3:34b says, “…He (God) gives grace to the afflicted.”
I read that and wondered why God would give grace and not deliverance.
...Many times grace is a training ground run through tear-blurred eyes and which in the end leaves your heart strong, your spiritual muscles toned, and your head clear and organized.
Proverbs 3:34 is repeated in the New Testament in 1 Peter 5:5. It is interesting to note the context that Peter chose in writing this passage under the inspiration of the Spirit. Much of chapter five discusses hard times: Anxiety (vs. 9 and 10). After having defined the world of grace Peter closes the chapter and book by saying that he has spoken of the true grace of God… “Stand firm in it (grace of God)!”
Unless you live in the world of grace you will not get to know it. Grace cannot be learned apart from hardship.
At points in my journey I plead for an easier road and the Lord exhorts me that I have asked to hope only in Him. I would like to learn the ways of the Lord while seated by a mountain stream, but He faithfully encourages me that His way is the wilderness and only there will I really be able to trust Him.
Take courage in your hardship, trial, affliction, discouragement, etc. The Lord Jesus has given you His peace.
For Lifetime Guarantee, that’s our Lifetime Weekly.
By: Preston Gillham
Proverbs 3:34b says, “…He (God) gives grace to the afflicted.”
I read that and wondered why God would give grace and not deliverance.
...Many times grace is a training ground run through tear-blurred eyes and which in the end leaves your heart strong, your spiritual muscles toned, and your head clear and organized.
Proverbs 3:34 is repeated in the New Testament in 1 Peter 5:5. It is interesting to note the context that Peter chose in writing this passage under the inspiration of the Spirit. Much of chapter five discusses hard times: Anxiety (vs. 9 and 10). After having defined the world of grace Peter closes the chapter and book by saying that he has spoken of the true grace of God… “Stand firm in it (grace of God)!”
Unless you live in the world of grace you will not get to know it. Grace cannot be learned apart from hardship.
At points in my journey I plead for an easier road and the Lord exhorts me that I have asked to hope only in Him. I would like to learn the ways of the Lord while seated by a mountain stream, but He faithfully encourages me that His way is the wilderness and only there will I really be able to trust Him.
Take courage in your hardship, trial, affliction, discouragement, etc. The Lord Jesus has given you His peace.
For Lifetime Guarantee, that’s our Lifetime Weekly.
"My Own" Friend
"Ripe age gives tone to violins, wine, and good friends."
~James Townsend Trowbridge
I would add "good Godly friends".
I attended the wedding of a daughter of dear friends last night. My Tim and I drove two hours in the rain to get there, arriving just in time. The church sanctuary was beautiful, but more than that, there was this sweet, sweet atmosphere in the air, the sort that doesn't come from decor, regardless of how elegant the look. That sweetness came from the people who filled the room - they all came out of love, and each person brought a unique and joyful energy. We couldn't wait to see this young couple say their "I Do's".
Tim and I were there when this young couple's parents got married. Back then, we all were young twenty-somethings together, and I remember Tim sang for them, during their ceremony. Fast forward, many many days....there we were last night...about two decades later, attending their daughter's wedding.
God means for relationships to be that good. Generational love.
As I sat, looking at faces we have known, loved, and worked with to some degree or another in Master Builders, some for twenty years, I was deeply content to simply be there. As I breathed in the fragrance of friendship, I thought to myself: This is the sort of continuity that can only come with the passing of years upon years. I would not trade this continuity of relationship for anything. I would not leave these co-laborers in the Kingdom for anything short of someone denying Jesus Christ.
Oh, dear ones! Good, gospel-loving friends are not a dime a dozen. To have a good, old friend is a piece of crazy-fortunate fortune, a priceless gift, a treasure beyond all reason. Look around you....who is "still there"? Who manifests the faithful love of Christ to you? Tell them how much you value them - do it today, please, because I assure you this, with all my heart: most men will each proclaim his own goodness, but a faithful man (or woman), who can find? (Proverbs 20:6)
Vows were spoken, as our dear friends (father and mother of the bride) looked on, misty eyed. The father both gave his daughter away, and then officiated her wedding. Tim and I remarked at his poise and sense of humor, and the great job he did for his daughter - he certainly did her proud. As the wedding party and bride and groom skipped back down the center aisle to the fun song "I Feel Good", everyone was smiling. I think there were as many people there for the sake of the parents, as were there for the bride and groom - I know how this feels, and it is absolutely a humbling sense of affection and relationship.
Tim and I ran back out into the rain, jumped in our vehicle, and started for home. Though invited to stay for the dinner reception, we had to get back to town for several important reasons. We left a lot of irons in the fire just to make the trip - two hours there and two hours back...all for 45 minutes of ceremony, if not less.
So worth it. We'd have traveled longer, were it necessary.
The words of a poem come to mind ~
"From quiet homes and first beginning,
Out to the undiscovered ends,
There's nothing worth the wear of winning,
But laughter
And the love of friends."
~Hilaire Belloc
I have only a few things that are "my own". My house is not even yet "my own". My wedding ring is my own. My husband is my own. Of the very few things that are my own, even fewer - two, in fact - are eternal: family and Godly friends.
Treasure both. If you are insanely blessed, you will find yourself laboring in the Kingdom alongside both family and friends. Make almost any concession to preserve that kind of continuity. God loves it, He smiles on it. There is no other way to establish a generational Kingdom work, but to stick and stay and care about the continuity. No. Other. Way.
It is never God's will that you "build houses, but not inhabit them, plant vineyards, but not eat the fruit of them." (Isaiah 65:21, contrasted with Zephaniah 1:13)
If you find yourself building relationships but not "inhabiting" them for very long, planting family bonds, sowing into friendships, but not harvesting the fruit of them (many many years later)...I will say this as gently as I can, but someone needs to tell you: you are under some sort of judgement. That is not God's version of normalcy. You need to find out why and fix it.
Don't leave those relationships. Nothing else is worth the wear of winning.
Proverbs 27:10 ~ "Do not forsake your own friend..."
~James Townsend Trowbridge
I would add "good Godly friends".
I attended the wedding of a daughter of dear friends last night. My Tim and I drove two hours in the rain to get there, arriving just in time. The church sanctuary was beautiful, but more than that, there was this sweet, sweet atmosphere in the air, the sort that doesn't come from decor, regardless of how elegant the look. That sweetness came from the people who filled the room - they all came out of love, and each person brought a unique and joyful energy. We couldn't wait to see this young couple say their "I Do's".
Tim and I were there when this young couple's parents got married. Back then, we all were young twenty-somethings together, and I remember Tim sang for them, during their ceremony. Fast forward, many many days....there we were last night...about two decades later, attending their daughter's wedding.
God means for relationships to be that good. Generational love.
As I sat, looking at faces we have known, loved, and worked with to some degree or another in Master Builders, some for twenty years, I was deeply content to simply be there. As I breathed in the fragrance of friendship, I thought to myself: This is the sort of continuity that can only come with the passing of years upon years. I would not trade this continuity of relationship for anything. I would not leave these co-laborers in the Kingdom for anything short of someone denying Jesus Christ.
Oh, dear ones! Good, gospel-loving friends are not a dime a dozen. To have a good, old friend is a piece of crazy-fortunate fortune, a priceless gift, a treasure beyond all reason. Look around you....who is "still there"? Who manifests the faithful love of Christ to you? Tell them how much you value them - do it today, please, because I assure you this, with all my heart: most men will each proclaim his own goodness, but a faithful man (or woman), who can find? (Proverbs 20:6)
Vows were spoken, as our dear friends (father and mother of the bride) looked on, misty eyed. The father both gave his daughter away, and then officiated her wedding. Tim and I remarked at his poise and sense of humor, and the great job he did for his daughter - he certainly did her proud. As the wedding party and bride and groom skipped back down the center aisle to the fun song "I Feel Good", everyone was smiling. I think there were as many people there for the sake of the parents, as were there for the bride and groom - I know how this feels, and it is absolutely a humbling sense of affection and relationship.
Tim and I ran back out into the rain, jumped in our vehicle, and started for home. Though invited to stay for the dinner reception, we had to get back to town for several important reasons. We left a lot of irons in the fire just to make the trip - two hours there and two hours back...all for 45 minutes of ceremony, if not less.
So worth it. We'd have traveled longer, were it necessary.
The words of a poem come to mind ~
"From quiet homes and first beginning,
Out to the undiscovered ends,
There's nothing worth the wear of winning,
But laughter
And the love of friends."
~Hilaire Belloc
I have only a few things that are "my own". My house is not even yet "my own". My wedding ring is my own. My husband is my own. Of the very few things that are my own, even fewer - two, in fact - are eternal: family and Godly friends.
Treasure both. If you are insanely blessed, you will find yourself laboring in the Kingdom alongside both family and friends. Make almost any concession to preserve that kind of continuity. God loves it, He smiles on it. There is no other way to establish a generational Kingdom work, but to stick and stay and care about the continuity. No. Other. Way.
It is never God's will that you "build houses, but not inhabit them, plant vineyards, but not eat the fruit of them." (Isaiah 65:21, contrasted with Zephaniah 1:13)
If you find yourself building relationships but not "inhabiting" them for very long, planting family bonds, sowing into friendships, but not harvesting the fruit of them (many many years later)...I will say this as gently as I can, but someone needs to tell you: you are under some sort of judgement. That is not God's version of normalcy. You need to find out why and fix it.
Don't leave those relationships. Nothing else is worth the wear of winning.
Proverbs 27:10 ~ "Do not forsake your own friend..."
The Adventure of Orienteering
Imagine you are plunked down into the middle of a forest wilderness, and given two choices as to how you will navigate it: you could be given a map and a compass....plus a row of little red flags to follow, each one marking your every step. Or you can be given a compass, and a map with a few significant points marked on it...and that is all. Which would you choose?
Most choose the map and compass and little red flags. And so it is with our relationship to God. What was intended to be the adventure of a lifetime, gets turned into boring, relentless do's and don't's dotting mile after mile a path that we are sure leads us to our destination, but takes no thought, no relationship, no real risk. But we follow those little red flags faithfully, consulting the map and compass without understanding either of them - all while keeping our eyes peeled for the next red flag. We feel so smug about our progress, mistaking our lack of imagination to be personal discipline.
Give me the way of the orienteer, any day. Give me the compass of grace, and the map of the gospel, plus nothing. This is the journey of a lifetime, this one life I have been given! I don't want to be looking for the next red flag, I want to be truly engaging the map and compass...
...and I want to need the others who travel with me.
The way of the red flag requires no effort towards true community. In fact, those little markers encourage dis-unity. If someone offends you, if anyone dare disregard one of the red flags, particularly one you deem important, or should anyone leave the way of the red flags and ask you to continue with them, using only your map and compass - regardless of how much you love them, it is an easy decision, requiring only a few weeks or months to make. You simply part company with them. After all, you have those red flags - who actually needs relationships? You can make this journey on your own if you have to.
All red flaggers are in the powerful position of being able to patronize each other, relying on one another's strength and giftedness only when it suits them, and avoiding the discomfort of setting aside their personal peace and preference. Those who journey with naught but compass and map realize their need for each other, and find themselves setting the individualism of ideals aside in favor of the real, hard-won wisdom that is found in a multitude of counselors, particularly those who have been in this part of the wilderness before and found their way out without the red flags.
There is safety in numbers. Safety is of paramount importance when there is actual adventure, versus simulated adventure.
For the orienteer, it isn't enough to follow the red flags. The orienteer wants to "orient" his whole being towards the destination. He will re-work and re-direct over and over again if necessary. He will get lost along the way, yet he is the truly disciplined one. And he discovers at adventure's end that his entire self - mind, heart, will, body and strength - has been integrated into a healthy whole. The way of the grace-compass and gospel-map absorbed him fully and challenged him relentlessly and changed him completely.
So as various believers come up out of the wilderness, how do you know who is who? How can you tell the red-flaggers from the orienteers?
The orienteers are dirtier. Messier. The red-flaggers are merely a bit bedraggled.
The red flaggers emerge either alone or quarrelling or walking in large-but-tolerably- compatible groupings.
The orienteers emerge together...triumphant, smiling...each one leaning on the arm of another.
Most choose the map and compass and little red flags. And so it is with our relationship to God. What was intended to be the adventure of a lifetime, gets turned into boring, relentless do's and don't's dotting mile after mile a path that we are sure leads us to our destination, but takes no thought, no relationship, no real risk. But we follow those little red flags faithfully, consulting the map and compass without understanding either of them - all while keeping our eyes peeled for the next red flag. We feel so smug about our progress, mistaking our lack of imagination to be personal discipline.
Give me the way of the orienteer, any day. Give me the compass of grace, and the map of the gospel, plus nothing. This is the journey of a lifetime, this one life I have been given! I don't want to be looking for the next red flag, I want to be truly engaging the map and compass...
...and I want to need the others who travel with me.
The way of the red flag requires no effort towards true community. In fact, those little markers encourage dis-unity. If someone offends you, if anyone dare disregard one of the red flags, particularly one you deem important, or should anyone leave the way of the red flags and ask you to continue with them, using only your map and compass - regardless of how much you love them, it is an easy decision, requiring only a few weeks or months to make. You simply part company with them. After all, you have those red flags - who actually needs relationships? You can make this journey on your own if you have to.
All red flaggers are in the powerful position of being able to patronize each other, relying on one another's strength and giftedness only when it suits them, and avoiding the discomfort of setting aside their personal peace and preference. Those who journey with naught but compass and map realize their need for each other, and find themselves setting the individualism of ideals aside in favor of the real, hard-won wisdom that is found in a multitude of counselors, particularly those who have been in this part of the wilderness before and found their way out without the red flags.
There is safety in numbers. Safety is of paramount importance when there is actual adventure, versus simulated adventure.
For the orienteer, it isn't enough to follow the red flags. The orienteer wants to "orient" his whole being towards the destination. He will re-work and re-direct over and over again if necessary. He will get lost along the way, yet he is the truly disciplined one. And he discovers at adventure's end that his entire self - mind, heart, will, body and strength - has been integrated into a healthy whole. The way of the grace-compass and gospel-map absorbed him fully and challenged him relentlessly and changed him completely.
So as various believers come up out of the wilderness, how do you know who is who? How can you tell the red-flaggers from the orienteers?
The orienteers are dirtier. Messier. The red-flaggers are merely a bit bedraggled.
The red flaggers emerge either alone or quarrelling or walking in large-but-tolerably- compatible groupings.
The orienteers emerge together...triumphant, smiling...each one leaning on the arm of another.
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