Below my own thoughts here, is a piece written by Christine Wyrtzen, of Daughters of Promise.
Believe it or not, there are those who actually feel a sense of pleasure at the idea of punishing someone with whom they are offended. Oh, they would never call it "punishment" - they would call it "standing for what they believe is right."
I have wondered at this, sometimes. I have asked myself, "How can this be?"
Well, Mrs. Wyrtzen has nailed it for me, I think. It's a feeling of high. The temporary rush, the feeling of power that the punisher's sophisticated version of vindication brings them causes them to believe they are in perfect control as they rachet up what they imagine to be the appropriate punishment. (Er - I mean "just consequences".) I have actually observed a weird sense of satisfaction on the face of this kind of person, as offspring, sibling, friend or parent emotionally reaches their limit, under the pressure of a cold, calm and precise punishment, and reacts to it.
This temporary and strange pleasure, each and every time they experience the sense, numbs their conscience yet further. The self deception gets stronger and stronger. The punishments they dole out become increasingly dramatic until they either get their way, or completely separate themselves from others, send them away, drive them away, or otherwise destroy the relationship permanently - and feel justified in doing so. They will wait months and even years, and suddenly find an opportunity to feel the pleasure of punishment - and they will act on it.
All the while, they create a sense of guilt in the person they are punishing...it somehow has to be the punish-ee's fault, always. The punish-ers will expect everyone else to act like nothing has changed. They will say that they mean no harm. Well, just because they say it, doesn't make it so. To them, their choice to continue to punish seems educated, controlled, superior, and right. In reality, it is as craving and base a choice as any drug-junkie makes, only they are control-junkies. They cannot see that their heart is as fat as grease - engorged in the satisfaction of provoking all the stupid people in their lives.
Please, Lord, let me never get a fraction of a moment of pleasure from hurting someone else, whether I imagine they deserve consequences or not. Make me miserable, in Your great mercy, so that my heart does not fatten in satisfaction.
Hearts like that eventually stop beating altogether. That thought fills me with compassion for those addicted to punishing others. There is no way they are innately happy people - they only know their small version of happiness, and they truly believe what they know is all there is to know.
Kudos to Christine Wyrtzen, Daughters of Promise (http://www.daughtersofpromise.org/), for this well-put, succinct teaching. It gives a much needed perspective!
CAUSE AND EFFECT
The insolent smear me with lies; their heart is unfeeling like fat.
Psalm 119: 69a, 70a
The effect is given before the cause. Behavior ~ concocting a series of lies about another person for personal payoff. Cause ~ their heart has been fattened by pleasure and has, over time, ceased to feel remorse over their sin.
A rebellious child acts out and others give him what he wants. He sets this pattern for himself for a lifetime. He wears personal power recklessly. He survives by acting in whatever ways will meet his needs. The pleasure he feels becomes his drug of choice; so much so that he ceases to regret the acts he committed in order to ultimately feel good. There is no remorse.
We may have asked the question, "How could this person do this to me and not even feel badly that they hurt me?" This scripture is enlightening and answers the question. The pleasure they got by sinning against you numbed their conscience.
Probably every one of us have been hurt deeply by someone who never offered an apology. They saw our tears, heard our pain expressed, but shrugged their shoulders. We just couldn't understand such coldness of heart. God is our instructor today. An unfeeling heart develops over time, never overnight. It belongs to the person who has been fattened by the pleasures of his choices, even choices that caused pain to someone he claims to love.
Only God can transform the heart of a sinner. Only God can comfort the victims.
Jesus, you knew the hearts of men. You were not deceived. Teach me to look beyond their behavior to the spiritual cause. I need to pray for others' spiritual disease instead of just asking you to stop their behavior. Spirit, show me how to pray. Amen
May This Table Be Blessed...
I'm bustin' to show ya'll my early Christmas present, all "dressed" in ivory and red ~
I have wanted a round, oak table for years. But it had to be the perfect one...and so I waited...
Very Arts and Crafts-ey, geometric lines, substantial, well made...
Gorgeous, chunky (for lack of a better word) with NO "claw feet", NO scroll work, clean and simple...and the perfect size.
None of this "the most important people at the head and foot of the table, all others seated in the order of their significance" for guests in the Atchley household. Nah. A round table is an equalizer, and you don't have to turn your head very far to look every person sitting there in the eye and really hear what they are saying.
Oddly, it is a whole new concept, decorating a round table. I'll be spending some happy moments getting the hang of it, this Christmastime. Please join me in a table blessing - this piece is symbolic of the new season of life Tim and I find ourselves in - a place where the number seated at this table can and will expand or subtract with startling abruptness, and on any given day.
I have wanted a round, oak table for years. But it had to be the perfect one...and so I waited...
Very Arts and Crafts-ey, geometric lines, substantial, well made...
Gorgeous, chunky (for lack of a better word) with NO "claw feet", NO scroll work, clean and simple...and the perfect size.The family table has always had huge symbolism for me. Our table has always been a happy and hallowed thing. My table has seen lack - dinners of beans and cornbread - and it has seen plenty - surf and turf with all the best to go with it. But my favorite meals are the countless in-between repasts...all the ones where, to be honest, I don't remember what I made, but I remember the friends, the family, and the joy.
A new table is a big deal for me. It had to be small enough to be inviting for only two - please Lord, never let it be that Tim and I are relegated to sitting, only the two of us, at some elongated affair, I don't care how beautiful a specimen it is. One day it will be "just us", and it has to feel right when it is. It had to be big enough to seat eight at a squeeze (more with a center leaf added)...or just two, without feeling like, "Gee, aren't we missing about ten more people?" . It had to be old, because antique furniture with clean lines makes me happy. And it had to be round, because round tables are best for conversation.
We are all about the conversation.
None of this "the most important people at the head and foot of the table, all others seated in the order of their significance" for guests in the Atchley household. Nah. A round table is an equalizer, and you don't have to turn your head very far to look every person sitting there in the eye and really hear what they are saying.
The moment I laid eyes on this table, I knew it was the one.
Oddly, it is a whole new concept, decorating a round table. I'll be spending some happy moments getting the hang of it, this Christmastime. Please join me in a table blessing - this piece is symbolic of the new season of life Tim and I find ourselves in - a place where the number seated at this table can and will expand or subtract with startling abruptness, and on any given day.
May it see many years of pure joy, whether serving many or few.
Encouragement for a Woman's Heart...
"...in a time lacking in truth and certainty and filled with anguish and despair, no woman should be shamefaced in attempting to give back to the world, through her work, a portion of its lost heart."
~Louise Bogan
Dear Woman Friend,
Every little thing you do to bring beauty and order matters. As the cosmos and everything in it slides towards disorder, you fulfill your portion of the divine dominion mandate, your portion of the Great Commission, each time you straighten your desk, write a thoughtful blog post, wrap a gift, enter data, field office phone calls, close a sales deal, grade a paper, gently administer an IV to a patient, or lovingly put a bow in a little girl's hair. You bring your part of the world one step closer to order and beauty, and thus "give back to the world...a portion of its lost heart."
Do what you do with grace. Do it with style. Do it with dignity. Do it...knowing your God is pleased with what you are doing.
Work as unto the Lord. There are no menial tasks in His estimation.
Can One Weekend Hold More Joy?
It began this way...
Snowing...
A few of us Harvest women drove through the winter wonderland to decorate the church, and then create handmade wreaths at the Bower Farm.
Are we the cutest bunch you ever saw, or what?(L-R Wendy, Hannah, Maria, Sarah, Me, Cheryl, Kelly, Angel, Vickie, and Jenny)
We punked the pastor so good...this is what we did to his preachin' table (he doesn't preach from a typical pulpit...)
Then, more fun at the Bower Farm
Greens clipping...
Wreath making...
Christmas music softly playing...
the smell of apple cider filling the air...
The view from just one of the windows (all the views are this sweet - and I overheard more than one or two request to come live at "The Farm"! There is such a peace there.)
some of the simple, homey decorations...
A sweet, sweet scene, no?
Then, my son Isaac had a basketball game - that's him, with the black "shooting sleeve". Skinny. Handsome. Athletically gifted.
Number five-four
Tonight, at my house, the second installment of Focus on the Family's Truth Project. Our college aged small group is going through this excellent curriculum.
Searching for The Truth?
Or enjoying the holiday food?
Our facilitator Jonathan, explaining to us using his Mac (showoff!) how to log onto the Truth Project's website, and sign on to our group.
Furious note taking. This is no frilly study. It is challenging.
In the Word
Bibles everywhere...I cannot imagine a fuller weekend (or preceding week, for that matter - spent PREPARING for all this!) I imagine I didn't stop to sit down until just now. But along the way, I soaked in each and every amazing moment in all the non stop action. The snow...making my wreath...cutting my hands on wire in the process...punking the pastor (he took it so well!)....time with girlfriends...watching Isaac score a couple of three pointers....church this morning...small group tonight...all the achingly sincere questions that were posed after the study...the glow that is still in this house.
Have a blessed Advent season, my friends.
Having Myself a Merry Little Christmas...
Today was "decorate the mantle" day. Despite a very long list of things I had to get done, I squeezed this in, purely for my own enjoyment. The result is even lovelier in person, I must say.
I clipped a pile of greens from outside my house...
put on a little James Taylor Christmas music...
Added some oranges that I cloved last night, and 3 pots of paper whites, just blooming...
It took about ten minutes.
Don't worry, the candles are flameless!
I clipped a pile of greens from outside my house...
put on a little James Taylor Christmas music...
Added some oranges that I cloved last night, and 3 pots of paper whites, just blooming...
It took about ten minutes.
Don't worry, the candles are flameless!The Gospel Produces Good Works
This is a faithful saying, and these things I want you to affirm constantly, that those who have believed in God should be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable to men. (Titus 3)
The above Scripture is a classic "proof text" for some who want to mix the pure gospel with a message of human effort. In fact, they want to use all of Titus to back their emphasis on works. But when it is used in that way, the user commits a common error:
Context.
Every verse was written in the context of a chapter, which was written in the context of a book, which was written in the context of old covenant or new covenant, which was written in the context of the whole Bible, which was written in the context of grace. Jesus was the plan of God from before the foundation of the world.
The entire book of Titus was written to instruct about how to choose leaders whose lives adorn the gospel, and about training the saints regarding what it would look like to live in such a way as to adorn the doctrine Paul preached (as found in Romans, Galatians, Hebrews, etc.).
What sort of life best describes the God who has made you the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus?
In Titus, Paul again warns about legalists - a fact often conveniently ignored. Far from being a letter about the virtues of human effort, Pauls words are fatherly pearls of wisdom, inspiring a young leader to choose wisely and well who would shepherd God's people. Church leaders should be so consumed with the gospel of Jesus, that they make every decision, choose every course of action in the light of what would promote the gospel and silence its critics.
The utter, unmitigated, sheer glory of grace will make a human being zealous to live in such a way as to be God's visual aid in teaching the world how amazing He is. Jesus went about doing good for the sake of doing good, because He was simply doing what He saw a good God do. He and the Father were one.
This verse is not saying that Paul wants leaders to continually remind the saints to be mindful to work hard, and do Godly things, with no context other than "Godly principle", or "the right way to live versus wrong way to live". This verse is saying that the message of the gospel will produce a people who are prone to living accomplished and hard working lives, being of benefit to everyone, loving their work because it is productive and good - because good works impress lost people, and shame religious critics...not because good works impress God.
It says, in context, that Paul wants leaders to be constantly affirming doctrine and what adorns it, affirming the gospel of grace, the good news of Jesus. Included in this (whether we like it or not) is a respect for authority....
Respect for authority is mentioned first in chapter 3, first in the line of thought, because if respect is not in place, no one's message - not even the faithful sayings of God, communicated through the five fold ministry gifts - will be heard.
Interestingly, it is those who live as a law unto themselves who are the very ones who take this verse, and the whole book of Titus, out of context and try to make it say something it doesn't. They "submit" to almost nothing, not even the laws of hermanuetics, apparently.
If you can bear with me, here is this verse (bolded), in context, in several translations (edited in one little spot, for time's sake).
First the Phillips:
REMIND your people to recognise the power of those who rule and bear authority. They must obey them and be prepared to render whatever good service they can.
They are not to speak evil of any man, they must not be quarrelsome but reasonable, showing every consideration to all men.
For we ourselves have known what it is to be ignorant, disobedient and deceived...
But when the kindness and love of God our saviour dawned upon us,
he saved us in his mercy—not by virtue of any moral achievement of ours, but by the cleansing power of a new birth and the renewal of the Holy Spirit,
which he poured upon us through Jesus Christ our Saviour.
The result is that we are acquitted by his grace, and can look forward in hope to inheriting life eternal.
This is solid truth: I want you to speak about these matters with absolute certainty, so that those who have believed in God may concentrate upon a life of goodness. Good work is good in itself and is also useful to mankind. (Phillips)
The Message (not my favorite, but for the sake of thorough study) ~
Remind the people to respect the government and be law-abiding, always ready to lend a helping hand. No insults, no fights. God’s people should be bighearted and courteous.
It wasn’t so long ago that we ourselves were stupid and stubborn...But when God, our kind and loving Savior God, stepped in, he saved us from all that.
It was all his doing; we had nothing to do with it. He gave us a good bath, and we came out of it new people, washed inside and out by the Holy Spirit. Our Savior Jesus poured out new life so generously. God’s gift has restored our relationship with him and given us back our lives. And there’s more life to come—an eternity of life!
You can count on this. I want you to put your foot down. Take a firm stand on these matters so that those who have put their trust in God will concentrate on the essentials that are good for everyone.Last, the New King James ~
Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men.
For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient...
But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared,
not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior,
that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
This is a faithful saying, and these things I want you to affirm constantly, that those who have believed in God should be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable to men.
The gospel of the abundant grace of God, which justified us (past tense) and assures our eternity, makes us care about living lives that adorn the message we are bringing. No one who has really understood the grace of God will be prone to habitually walk in a way that obscures or brings reproach on such a precious thing.
The point is that it is all about the 'faithful saying', it is all about affirming the gospel. This book of Titus, this verse, does not make it all about us and what we do. One is stimulus, the other response. One is primary, the other secondary. One is root, the other fruit.
Context, context...
The above Scripture is a classic "proof text" for some who want to mix the pure gospel with a message of human effort. In fact, they want to use all of Titus to back their emphasis on works. But when it is used in that way, the user commits a common error:
Context.
Every verse was written in the context of a chapter, which was written in the context of a book, which was written in the context of old covenant or new covenant, which was written in the context of the whole Bible, which was written in the context of grace. Jesus was the plan of God from before the foundation of the world.
The entire book of Titus was written to instruct about how to choose leaders whose lives adorn the gospel, and about training the saints regarding what it would look like to live in such a way as to adorn the doctrine Paul preached (as found in Romans, Galatians, Hebrews, etc.).
What sort of life best describes the God who has made you the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus?
In Titus, Paul again warns about legalists - a fact often conveniently ignored. Far from being a letter about the virtues of human effort, Pauls words are fatherly pearls of wisdom, inspiring a young leader to choose wisely and well who would shepherd God's people. Church leaders should be so consumed with the gospel of Jesus, that they make every decision, choose every course of action in the light of what would promote the gospel and silence its critics.
The utter, unmitigated, sheer glory of grace will make a human being zealous to live in such a way as to be God's visual aid in teaching the world how amazing He is. Jesus went about doing good for the sake of doing good, because He was simply doing what He saw a good God do. He and the Father were one.
This verse is not saying that Paul wants leaders to continually remind the saints to be mindful to work hard, and do Godly things, with no context other than "Godly principle", or "the right way to live versus wrong way to live". This verse is saying that the message of the gospel will produce a people who are prone to living accomplished and hard working lives, being of benefit to everyone, loving their work because it is productive and good - because good works impress lost people, and shame religious critics...not because good works impress God.
It says, in context, that Paul wants leaders to be constantly affirming doctrine and what adorns it, affirming the gospel of grace, the good news of Jesus. Included in this (whether we like it or not) is a respect for authority....
Respect for authority is mentioned first in chapter 3, first in the line of thought, because if respect is not in place, no one's message - not even the faithful sayings of God, communicated through the five fold ministry gifts - will be heard.
Interestingly, it is those who live as a law unto themselves who are the very ones who take this verse, and the whole book of Titus, out of context and try to make it say something it doesn't. They "submit" to almost nothing, not even the laws of hermanuetics, apparently.
If you can bear with me, here is this verse (bolded), in context, in several translations (edited in one little spot, for time's sake).
First the Phillips:
REMIND your people to recognise the power of those who rule and bear authority. They must obey them and be prepared to render whatever good service they can.
They are not to speak evil of any man, they must not be quarrelsome but reasonable, showing every consideration to all men.
For we ourselves have known what it is to be ignorant, disobedient and deceived...
But when the kindness and love of God our saviour dawned upon us,
he saved us in his mercy—not by virtue of any moral achievement of ours, but by the cleansing power of a new birth and the renewal of the Holy Spirit,
which he poured upon us through Jesus Christ our Saviour.
The result is that we are acquitted by his grace, and can look forward in hope to inheriting life eternal.
This is solid truth: I want you to speak about these matters with absolute certainty, so that those who have believed in God may concentrate upon a life of goodness. Good work is good in itself and is also useful to mankind. (Phillips)
The Message (not my favorite, but for the sake of thorough study) ~
Remind the people to respect the government and be law-abiding, always ready to lend a helping hand. No insults, no fights. God’s people should be bighearted and courteous.
It wasn’t so long ago that we ourselves were stupid and stubborn...But when God, our kind and loving Savior God, stepped in, he saved us from all that.
It was all his doing; we had nothing to do with it. He gave us a good bath, and we came out of it new people, washed inside and out by the Holy Spirit. Our Savior Jesus poured out new life so generously. God’s gift has restored our relationship with him and given us back our lives. And there’s more life to come—an eternity of life!
You can count on this. I want you to put your foot down. Take a firm stand on these matters so that those who have put their trust in God will concentrate on the essentials that are good for everyone.Last, the New King James ~
Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men.
For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient...
But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared,
not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior,
that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.
This is a faithful saying, and these things I want you to affirm constantly, that those who have believed in God should be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable to men.
The gospel of the abundant grace of God, which justified us (past tense) and assures our eternity, makes us care about living lives that adorn the message we are bringing. No one who has really understood the grace of God will be prone to habitually walk in a way that obscures or brings reproach on such a precious thing.
The point is that it is all about the 'faithful saying', it is all about affirming the gospel. This book of Titus, this verse, does not make it all about us and what we do. One is stimulus, the other response. One is primary, the other secondary. One is root, the other fruit.
Context, context...
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