Christmas Dreams

I found this piece of paper the other day, and it brought back my own memories - of practicing writing what would soon be my "new name" over and over and over. My Sarah Atchley will soon be Sarah Howe.

Last Christmas, it was Hannah who was engaged to be married. One year later, it is Sarah who will be leaving us very soon - engaged to be married in March. We have no more daughters to give away after this.

It lends a sweet urgency to Christmastime for me. Again (like last year) I've decorated a little earlier than usual. Again, in sudden unexpected moments, the poignancy overwhelms my heart. Next Christmas, there will be no daughters asleep in their beds in this house on Christmas morning.

But it is good....so good. Because these two new sons of mine are so good, so Godly, so fit to love and lead my daughters.

I've dreamed of all this, in Christmases past. I would hear some of the sweet, romantic holiday songs, like "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve", and "Baby, It's Cold Outside", and I would hold my Tim's hand, we'd sing together, kiss each other, and I knew with all my heart that I wanted this for my daughters. I wanted them to be loved and wanted by a man who was handsome and accomplished and strong in the Lord. I wanted them to share kisses by twinklelight with the one Someone Special...back then, years and years ago, it all seemed so remote and far away. I wondered who my "other sons" would be.

Tonight, I know. I know. Amazing!! What was once a misty, dream-like mystery to me twenty years ago...ten years ago...two years ago...has now materialized. My dreams for my daughters have come true. There is someone wonderful and Godly to sing a line or two of "Baby It's Cold Outside" to my gorgeous girls, and each couple is now making the sorts of Christmas memories that only lovers, and future lovers, can make.

This is my Christmas gift ~ two new sons, strong and good, who love my daughters selflessly. The way my daughters' mother has been loved.

Spurgeon Preached It Too...

“God looked on Christ as if Christ had been sin; not as if He had taken up the sins of His people, or as if they were laid on Him, though that were true, but as if He Himself had positively been that noxious—that God-hating—that soul-damning thing, called sin. When the Judge of all the earth said, ‘Where is Sin?’ Christ presented himself…what a grim picture that is, to conceive of sin gathered up into one mass - murder, lust and stealing, and adultery - and the Father looked on Christ as if He were that mass of sin. He was not sin, but the Father looked on upon Him as made sin for us. Christ stands in our place, assumes our guilt, takes on our iniquity and God treats Him as if He had been sin…How can any punishment fall on that man who ceases to possess sin, because his sin was cast upon Christ and Christ has suffered in his place? Oh, glorious triumph of faith to be able to say, whenever I feel the guilt of sin, whenever conscience pricks me, ‘Yes, it is true but my Lord is answerable for it all, for He has taken it all upon Himself and suffered in my place.”
Charles Spurgeon, The King’s Highway

5 Ways to Enjoy the Simplicity of the Season

Typically the holidays bug me. The crude commercialization. The old Christmas carols, ruined by pretty-boy bands. The extra work combined with the shortened energy levels that come with less daylight. I have, every year, always found ways to love Christmas, so I'm not a "bah-humbug" in any strict sense of the word.

But this year, so far, I've not encountered the slightest negativity inside. After a great deal of amazed pondering, I offer you a few thoughts - humble, not at all earth-shaking, and maybe not even blog-worthy, but nevertheless...

1. Celebrate your way. In recent years, I had begun allowing "others" to dictate the season to me (and much of my time all year 'round, in fact), in the sense that if they invited me over, I felt obligated to accept for various reasons - to help them through a time of transition, to cheer them up, to just have fun, to assist in this or that, to prevent them from having to be alone. This translated into me always "going", and cutting back on what I love - which is having people in my home, spending time with my family. Over months and even years, I didn't realize how this was suffocating me. Out of love, out of an honorable motive, I was allowing myself to be squeezed and molded into someone else's idea of what makes for fellowship. This Christmas, I have spent it exactly how I want to spend it...in my own home, for heaven's sake! Filling my home with people and things and activities I love. No apologies. I've had a stern talk with myself. I said, "Self, never again will you take what makes your own heart sing, and put it on a shelf in a misguided effort to help someone else's heart sing. They must find their own song, and they must learn to sing it."

2. Get outside. "....and heaven and nature sing..." remember the old carol? Creation is God's means of soothing the human heart. Don't let the cold weather prevent you from getting outside, filling your bird feeders, taking a walk, surveying your winter landscape....just breathing in the chill air, appreciating the change in season. Embrace it.

3. Make something. Pick just one or three projects you've always wanted to try (but never had time, because you were too busy being somewhere else all the time) and block out an afternoon or two and just do it. Arts and crafts are vastly underrated for their therapeutic benefits. So far this season, I've made a real-green wreath, all sorts of evergreen arrangements, cookies and cakes, cloved some oranges, and I am going to cut out a bunch of paper snowflakes, and hang them from little bare branches, as a winter arrangement I'll keep in my house until March.

4. Read what inspires you. Self explanatory.

5. Selah. (in Hebrew, it means "pause and deeply consider"). Selah over what God is saying to your heart this season. Mull over the good news of grace. Ponder "peace on earth, and goodwill to men". Your God is in a good mood, friends, His anger was completely spent at the cross. Christ took the penalty and punishment for you, and for your children. This is crazy-good news. Reason to rejoice. Those swaddling clothes wrapped the baby Christ, He submitted to them, and then they were removed once and for all in the tomb, as the Risen Christ came out of it victorious...for you.

Trust me, this gets dangerous when you begin to take the truth of it and apply it personally. Everyone is comfortable with the doctrine of grace, so long as it stays on the pages of the Bible, where it can't mess with their actual beliefs, where it can't challenge their self sufficiency.

But Christ is all about incarnation. Those who preach the gospel must be incarnational about the truth of it. Let it invade.

These thoughts have totally transformed my experience of Advent this year. Oh, my soul waits for Him, and in His word I do hope!

My Guy...

My guy's been in Florida all week long. He is driving home to me, even as I type. I've missed him so! Love this picture of him, taken just as he was about to officiate a wedding. He's the best - he's my best friend and I've never changed my tune on that song - we've always been best friends, and I have never pretended otherwise.

And you know what they say about "the best of friends"...

...it's true.

Enlightening...

Below my own thoughts here, is a piece written by Christine Wyrtzen, of Daughters of Promise.

Believe it or not, there are those who actually feel a sense of pleasure at the idea of punishing someone with whom they are offended. Oh, they would never call it "punishment" - they would call it "standing for what they believe is right."

I have wondered at this, sometimes. I have asked myself, "How can this be?"

Well, Mrs. Wyrtzen has nailed it for me, I think. It's a feeling of high. The temporary rush, the feeling of power that the punisher's sophisticated version of vindication brings them causes them to believe they are in perfect control as they rachet up what they imagine to be the appropriate punishment. (Er - I mean "just consequences".) I have actually observed a weird sense of satisfaction on the face of this kind of person, as offspring, sibling, friend or parent emotionally reaches their limit, under the pressure of a cold, calm and precise punishment, and reacts to it.

This temporary and strange pleasure, each and every time they experience the sense, numbs their conscience yet further. The self deception gets stronger and stronger. The punishments they dole out become increasingly dramatic until they either get their way, or completely separate themselves from others, send them away, drive them away, or otherwise destroy the relationship permanently - and feel justified in doing so. They will wait months and even years, and suddenly find an opportunity to feel the pleasure of punishment - and they will act on it.

All the while, they create a sense of guilt in the person they are punishing...it somehow has to be the punish-ee's fault, always. The punish-ers will expect everyone else to act like nothing has changed. They will say that they mean no harm. Well, just because they say it, doesn't make it so. To them, their choice to continue to punish seems educated, controlled, superior, and right. In reality, it is as craving and base a choice as any drug-junkie makes, only they are control-junkies. They cannot see that their heart is as fat as grease - engorged in the satisfaction of provoking all the stupid people in their lives.

Please, Lord, let me never get a fraction of a moment of pleasure from hurting someone else, whether I imagine they deserve consequences or not. Make me miserable, in Your great mercy, so that my heart does not fatten in satisfaction.

Hearts like that eventually stop beating altogether. That thought fills me with compassion for those addicted to punishing others. There is no way they are innately happy people - they only know their small version of happiness, and they truly believe what they know is all there is to know.

Kudos to Christine Wyrtzen, Daughters of Promise (http://www.daughtersofpromise.org/), for this well-put, succinct teaching. It gives a much needed perspective!

CAUSE AND EFFECT

The insolent smear me with lies; their heart is unfeeling like fat.

Psalm 119: 69a, 70a

The effect is given before the cause. Behavior ~ concocting a series of lies about another person for personal payoff. Cause ~ their heart has been fattened by pleasure and has, over time, ceased to feel remorse over their sin.

A rebellious child acts out and others give him what he wants. He sets this pattern for himself for a lifetime. He wears personal power recklessly. He survives by acting in whatever ways will meet his needs. The pleasure he feels becomes his drug of choice; so much so that he ceases to regret the acts he committed in order to ultimately feel good. There is no remorse.

We may have asked the question, "How could this person do this to me and not even feel badly that they hurt me?" This scripture is enlightening and answers the question. The pleasure they got by sinning against you numbed their conscience.

Probably every one of us have been hurt deeply by someone who never offered an apology. They saw our tears, heard our pain expressed, but shrugged their shoulders. We just couldn't understand such coldness of heart. God is our instructor today. An unfeeling heart develops over time, never overnight. It belongs to the person who has been fattened by the pleasures of his choices, even choices that caused pain to someone he claims to love.

Only God can transform the heart of a sinner. Only God can comfort the victims.
Jesus, you knew the hearts of men. You were not deceived. Teach me to look beyond their behavior to the spiritual cause. I need to pray for others' spiritual disease instead of just asking you to stop their behavior. Spirit, show me how to pray. Amen

May This Table Be Blessed...

I'm bustin' to show ya'll my early Christmas present, all "dressed" in ivory and red ~

I have wanted a round, oak table for years. But it had to be the perfect one...and so I waited...

Very Arts and Crafts-ey, geometric lines, substantial, well made...

Gorgeous, chunky (for lack of a better word) with NO "claw feet", NO scroll work, clean and simple...and the perfect size.

The family table has always had huge symbolism for me. Our table has always been a happy and hallowed thing. My table has seen lack - dinners of beans and cornbread - and it has seen plenty - surf and turf with all the best to go with it. But my favorite meals are the countless in-between repasts...all the ones where, to be honest, I don't remember what I made, but I remember the friends, the family, and the joy.

A new table is a big deal for me. It had to be small enough to be inviting for only two - please Lord, never let it be that Tim and I are relegated to sitting, only the two of us, at some elongated affair, I don't care how beautiful a specimen it is. One day it will be "just us", and it has to feel right when it is. It had to be big enough to seat eight at a squeeze (more with a center leaf added)...or just two, without feeling like, "Gee, aren't we missing about ten more people?" . It had to be old, because antique furniture with clean lines makes me happy. And it had to be round, because round tables are best for conversation.

We are all about the conversation.

None of this "the most important people at the head and foot of the table, all others seated in the order of their significance" for guests in the Atchley household. Nah. A round table is an equalizer, and you don't have to turn your head very far to look every person sitting there in the eye and really hear what they are saying.

The moment I laid eyes on this table, I knew it was the one.

Oddly, it is a whole new concept, decorating a round table. I'll be spending some happy moments getting the hang of it, this Christmastime. Please join me in a table blessing - this piece is symbolic of the new season of life Tim and I find ourselves in - a place where the number seated at this table can and will expand or subtract with startling abruptness, and on any given day.

May it see many years of pure joy, whether serving many or few.

Encouragement for a Woman's Heart...

"...in a time lacking in truth and certainty and filled with anguish and despair, no woman should be shamefaced in attempting to give back to the world, through her work, a portion of its lost heart."
~Louise Bogan

Dear Woman Friend,

Every little thing you do to bring beauty and order matters. As the cosmos and everything in it slides towards disorder, you fulfill your portion of the divine dominion mandate, your portion of the Great Commission, each time you straighten your desk, write a thoughtful blog post, wrap a gift, enter data, field office phone calls, close a sales deal, grade a paper, gently administer an IV to a patient, or lovingly put a bow in a little girl's hair. You bring your part of the world one step closer to order and beauty, and thus "give back to the world...a portion of its lost heart."

Do what you do with grace. Do it with style. Do it with dignity. Do it...knowing your God is pleased with what you are doing.

Work as unto the Lord. There are no menial tasks in His estimation.