Thinking Right About People

(image from Tiffany Kirchner Dixon's blog)

I really, really want to enjoy the journey of life. For the love of chocolate and red wine, I just want to take joy.

I have a low tolerance for negativity. I have an even lower tolerance for negative talk about people. Ask my family. We aren't perfect, but on the average day, we just don't do it. We don't speak negatively of others. Once in awhile, this is because I can't take it, and after about two minutes of it I have to change the subject or interject something positive and redeeming. And I mean it. Let's not even think about picking up where we left off, and go back to criticizing. I'll get mad.

That. ain't. pretty.

This isn't because I am virtuous. I tend to push the limits of virtue in some areas of my life. I hate gossip simply because I have had a belly-full-enough of negative yah-yah to last a lifetime, and I am totally sick of it, I do not care how true it is, or how important it is that I should know this or that about so-and-so.

This might not be a virtue at all. This might be a survival mechanism I have developed. But for pity's sake, why say something bad about someone else?

Think about it. Ask yourself the same question I ask myself: What good can this possibly do? Truly. What good at all does it do to mentally or verbally criticize? Of what redeeming value is gossip?

That's all gossip is...a negative little chat about something or someone's shortcomings. Sometimes the chat takes place between your ears, between you, yourself, and you. Or it might take place between you and another person. In person or in writing. (We forget that a private Facebook message is still gossip, even though we didn't SAY it!) It might be veiled, it might be blatant, but the intention is always the same: to point out a perceived fault. Or a church's perceived faults. Or the short comings of the Adult Sunday School program, which always by implication leads to someONE'S failures, as you see it.

And sometimes you are exactly right.

Oh, yes, you might be right about precisely where the falling short line lies...and you do us all a smelly pile of good by talking about it. You rocket scientist, you! It takes a keen mind to decipher what is wrong with this world, doesn't it? You better not die, because we need you around forever and ever, amen, because all us mortals? Why, we'd never know there was a problem without your astute observations. At the very least, we'd miss out on all the petty fun of listening to you talk.

There. Now that you understand where I am coming from...


Seriously. How do we shift from negative yah-yah, to positive speech, seasoned with salt? By thinking right thoughts about others.

Because pointing out all the dings and scratches in your neighbor's car does not improve the innate quality of your car.

His car? Your car?

It is what it is, friend. Put your mind on higher things, why don't you? All this car-speak is metaphor, of course.

Do not let your mind dwell on such trivial matters as the shortcomings of others. The plans and purposes of God for your life transcend such things. Grasp this!

When you think negatively about someone, you end up speaking negatively about them. When you speak negatively about them, you diminish yourself and them. But when you speak only what is good for the use of building others up, you and they are increased.

Their faults? Your faults?

They are what they are. The real question is how much do you value relationships?

Your brain is a filing cabinet. You can't help but notice things you don't like, and you can't help but file that away.

But you don't have to pull it back out and refer to it constantly. You really can let the negative files gather dust, and choose to pull out what is good, and refer only to that.

You can, you can! Yes, you can!

And when others pull out their negative files on someone else, and hand them to you...you can do what I typically do...toss it in the circular file labeled T-R-A-S-H/C-A-N, and treat it accordingly. Mark the person who tends to pull only the negative files, and politely refuse the next one.

I understand there are instances where none of this applies. Sometimes we do have the unpleasant task of bringing to someone's attention something that is significant and of negative implication. But only...only...when this is for the greater good. The far. far. far. greater good.

And I understand that the actions of others can create a teachable moment...brief objective and private discussion is necessary, and so you try to keep it as redeeming as possible. I get that.

I understand that ideas must be examined and critiqued.

But people? Co-workers? Fellow church members? Someone you call "friend" to their face?

Come on. We are all smarter than that.

Cut the negativity. It does no good. It adds no joy to the journey.

Are You Teachable?

There is a big difference between being a woman who is eager to learn...

...and a woman willing to be taught.

You can be eager to learn, because your ears prefer customized teaching that suits your strained sensibilities. The Bible calls it "itching ears", and we usually associate itching ears with the craving for teaching that promotes sin or some sort of ungodly ease.

I'm here to tell you, that is a no brainer. I get so weary of Christian women who have a firm grasp of little other than the obvious. Of course, teaching that encourages sin or laziness is so not cool. But I find most Christians instinctively know this. Or maybe I just run in the best circles, and there is a whole world out there, eager to sin and sit around and accumulate stuff instead of reach their generation for Christ. Um...I guess that would be a world that I am not intimately associated with.

What about the teachers who promote performance-based Christianity? The itchiest ears of all are found on those who prefer teachers of law-based, Christian-ized behavior modification. The itchiest ears of all are found on those who love to perform.

Exhibit A: the shelves and shelves of self-help books in bookstores both sacred and secular.

These people heap to themselves teachers, and you can find them on their bookshelves. Every book can be tossed into one of three heaps: the "fiction" heap, or the "writings of dead moralists" heap, or the "Christianized DIY" heap. You don't find much else on the shelves of a legalist.

Itching ears.

Paul told Timothy, "Preach the Word". The whole Bible, Old Testament and New, is given by inspiration of God, to make us mature and equipped for the work we are uniquely called to do.

So I'm asking: What is the central focus of "The Word"? And why does it need to be "rightly divided"? What is the application?

Christ. Everything from Genesis to Revelation and all points between is about Christ. When you read the Pentateuch, look for Jesus. When you read the Psalms and the Wisdom Books, look for the Gospel, for it is there. The very looking for it forces you to rightly divide this Word of Truth. The very effort of looking for the Gospel in all of the Old Testament forces you into a more accurate hermeneutic. When you read prophets major and minor, look for the wisdom hidden from the ages, now revealed: Jesus. He is there.

Paul was exhorting Timothy to preach the word of Christ. You aren't persecuted for living godly. A devout Morman or Muslim can manage that. You are persecuted for living godly in Christ Jesus. When the cross is the only way to salvation, when your godly living is because of His Finished Work, when your good works flow as a direct result of the revelation of your being made righteous...well, that is just weird. And very uncool. And out of step with the current thought in much of mainstream Christianity.

Again - Exhibit A. And the shelves of itchy-eared legalistas.

Which brings me back to the question: are you willing to be taught, or just eager to learn?

Knitting Machine

Have I told you I now own a knitting machine? I do. Own a knitting machine. It is used, but no matter...it is a Mac Momma Machine. A Singer 700 (older model) with SPN60 ribber, with every doo-dad and attachment known to machine knit-dom. I have no idea how to use it yet, but I am armed with an instructional video. And tons of moxie.

I plan to get me down to some bidness heah in dis hood, and teach myself yet another skill...and machine knitting is its own skillset, please lemme tell you! It is not...I repeat, not..."cheating". It is as big a learning curve as learning to knit with your hands, maybe moreso. It is not easy, but it is not ridiculously hard, either, I'm told. It just takes a different approach, and (from what I have read) it takes approaching knitting projects in a completely different way than hand-knitting.

For one thing, it takes thinking big. Expanding my knit-and-purl-a-scarf horizons. As in...knitting a cozy for the earth, bay-bee! Or maybe just Tim's truck. Or maybe just designing and executing beautiful king-sized blankets. Or a blue-million intarsia scarves.

A machine is more for someone who wants to branch out into designing. And yes, once you surf the learning curve, the knitting part goes fast.

Here is a picture of a stripped-down model:


You can't buy my knitting machine at Hobby Lobby. This ain't no plastic toy, neither. Oh, and by the way, the one you see (above) isn't my new baby. This one is a picture I found on the internet of a basic machine. This machine does not have the SPN60 rib-knit-bed attached to it. That SPN60 doubles the capacity of what you see above, and opens all sorts of creative doors.

Mine is so big, it gets its own work-table, and came with its own upholstered bench. And I am going to learn this thing. Eventually.

I'm blessed.

Can complete world domination be far behind?

New Covenant Gospel - Immense Implications

In a culture urgently in need of reformation, believers have to bear in mind that we are the change agents. We are the kindling for the fire...

...a thorough study of Western history will reveal that periods of renaissance and reformation follow on the heels of the church's return to first things. Great periods of Renaissance and Revival and Reformation come when the church perseveres in its return to the first things of New Covenant grace (versus any emphasis on the law as our means of righteousness), a Christocentric gospel (versus a program-centered, selfcentric message), and radical love for the community they fellowship with, otherwise known as their very own local church (versus floating from church to church).

When a believer puts all her emphasis on second things, she ends up losing first and second things. When she places all her emphasis on first things, trusting God for the second things, God gives and includes secondary things freely.

Stay with the New Covenant message, preach the Finished Work of Christ, plus nothing. Live a love that is tough...a far different lifestyle than attempting "tough love".

Don't think "tough love". Rather, think "Love is tough." And then get your rear-end out there and love those who are a bit unloveable...the ones that most resemble you. The love of God is rugged. Love is patient. It isn't easily offended. It does not leave. It believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. It never fails. You can't wear it out. You can't make it quit, because it always wins. Love wins because it is tough. Strong. Weathered. With relentlessly kind eyes, and ever open hands, ready to bless. It rejoices in the truth of the fact that all sin has, at the cross, been forgiven - past, present, and future.

Build your life around these first things: New Covenant Message, the Finished Work of Christ - plus nothing; and showing your community a love that is tough...love them relentlessly, delight in them without fail, and you will be used of God to bring Reformation to your church, your family, your business community.

History proves it.

Standard of Living

I realized today that I am an odd bird. I know I can lean to the "tad bit eccentric" side of the personality scale. What I mean is, I realized I am odder than even I first thought. (Okay, most of you already knew that, but I am just now catching on.)

I am listening to a business book from Audible.com (a site I can't recommend highly enough...a bibliophile's symphony of words!), and I heard the phrase "standard of living". My mind instantly thought of Shalom. Not the word "Shalom", but the whole thing...the whole idea of the word...the whole lifestyle of that word as it applies to relationships.

Yes. When I heard the phrase "standard of living", from a book on business, I naturally thought first of my relationships, not of how big my house is, or the level of our income. Weird, I know.

The relationship that is the most strained in our lives might be our relationship with our oldest son, the Marine. The relationship we have with him is better than it has been in recent years - we call it "strained" based on our standard of living. We are accustomed to lots of unity and joy in our relationships. We are accustomed to being close with friends and family.

He came all the way home from Camp Le Jeune, of his own volition, to surprise us over the past Labor Day weekend. He just wanted to be home. We weren't expecting him, and sometime after midnight on Friday night/Saturday morning, there he was, standing in our hallway. Sort of a Hallmark moment, only I was on Ambien. Think of the Waltons, only the momma is on drugs come bedtime, and John Boy chews tobacco and can be mean as a snake.

We were happy to see him, and we enjoyed a great weekend together, the whole family. Most families would take that in a heartbeat. We consider the relationship "strained" based on the depth of relationship and unity we are accustomed to having in our family. We are used to a higher standard of living. Because of past hurts and a few as-yet unresolved issues, things aren't quite Shalom....yet.

But dang. We are so rich. Honestly? We are a stinking well-off couple, my preacher and I. Our standard of living is high.

We are so in love. I'm talkin' the sort of love that cheers each others heart significantly, secretly squeezes each others glutes, goes out for walks and ice cream, and a gaze that still meets across a crowded room. Eyes that light up when we see each other...that kind of love. High, high standard of living. Lotsa Shalom.

And we like each one of our kids, and their spouses. In his sweet, funny, open, dinner-table moments, I take such great delight even in that "strained" relationship with my oldest son. I know it won't be strained forever. Strained...not estranged. That's the grace of God, in action.

And we have friends. Such friends, we have! Men and women who serve God with passion and purpose, and who love well, and who lavish grace on one another. My friends show me Jesus, all the time. We have friends new, and friends old. Friends young, and friends old. Friends who are mentors, and friends who are mentees.

Standard of living? Ours is off the charts. We don't eat ribeye steak very often, but we do have lots of grilled chicken - sometimes a bit dry, granted - but we live in good, healthy relationship, even though we had to wage a little war to make the peace.

Almost Undisturbed Shalom.

"Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife." Proverbs 17:1

A Change of Mind - A Daily Reality

These are my actual notes from this past Sunday. As I was taking them, I suddenly was inspired to make it a blog post, so I whipped out my smart phone and snapped the picture. In front of God and all my rowdy friends.

They are so used to me. No one blinked, no one thought it odd at all. I think they all know that anything and everything can and will become Blog Fodder for the Preacher's Wife.

The Finished Work of the Cross? Utter perfection.

My attitude and belief structure? In need of change. Every day.

Repentance simply means to change your mind. When you first came to Christ, you changed your mind in regards to either 1) Your need to be right, or 2) Your need to be wrong. In coming to Christ, you chose to think differently. Through the foolishness of preaching, you were made to realize that to think less of yourself was not enough...you realized you weren't to think of yourself at all. You were led to believe that salvation was all about Jesus and not what you did or could do, right or wrong.

You were led to believe that, right? Because that would be the effect of the preaching of the cross. True belief, and true repentance - a change of mindset.

As you received Him, in the same way, you walk with Him. Twenty, thirty, forty years later, if you are a spiritual person, if you are maturing, you will be changing your mind. Your actions will always follow suit.

Another term for all this? "The Renewing of the Mind".

An Impromptu Trip to the Mountains...and an Impromptu Shooting Competition - Pictures, not Animals

Tim gets credit for this one. ::sigh:: He saw this, and locked down on the brakes of his Ford truck. He jumped out the driver's side door with my camera, composed the shot (manual mode, all the way...shutter speed, apperture, zoom, and focus...he set it all!) and shot it. Darn him. The dappled sun was hitting the base of this tree like a spotlight.

...a Flycatcher...I got this shot, but nevermind. It pales in comparison to Tim's moss-on-the-base-of-the-tree shot. I feel a competition coming on. And I will win. He has no right to get better shots with my Nikon and new 55-200 mm lens than I get with my Nikon and 55-200 mm lens.

...fungus...again, spotlighted by dappled sunlight. Again, Tim. Incredible shot. This is exactly how it appeared - glowing. This shot is "SOOC"...that means "straight out of camera", no retouching, no photoshopping. In fact, not a single photo has been Photoshopped.

My mountains...

My beloved Smokies...can you see why they are called the "Smokey" mountains?

Side-lit splendor...golden autumn sun...no other time of year has this quality of light.

I got it! I got the shot! When you slllllllow down the shutter speed, you get that lovely sheeting action, when you shoot moving water. Fast shutter speed = seeing water more like the naked eye sees it, sometimes even freezing individual droplets in the picture. Slow shutter speed = that flow-ey, sheeting action. Love!

(Slowing your shutter speed, plus shooting in overcast conditions is not for the faint of heart, however. This shot best not attempted without a tripod...not without tears and swearing. Just kidding about the swearing. And the tears. But I was frustrated. I didn't bring my tripod. I asked Tim to bend over, and I planted my elbows in his back and shot for several minutes. Not kidding. He is so good to me. That man patiently watched me shoot scenes around the Smokey Mountains for three hours, until past dark.

In this shot above, notice how the surrounding, stationary non-water parts of this photo are not tack-sharp. No tripod. Tim's back helped, but next time, I am bringing my tripod.)

So proud of this shot. No tripod. No Tim's back, either. But I managed it. I set the camera to shutter mode, set the speed for a slow shutter, and compensated with apperture. ISO was 800.