3 Steps To Mid-Life Self-Care

I've studied mid-life issues for over a decade, now.  I've read so many great books, I have lost count.  If it is true that the status of "master" or "expert" is achieved after 10,000 hours of devoted practice and study...then, it is time for me to own the title of reluctant expert.  Not a medical expert, mind you - just a reluctant expert on things middling.

One thing I know for certain is that our end is designed and defined by how well we navigate our middle.  And the middle is the quitting-place.  All manner of quitting disguised as mid-life course correction happens between the ages of 45 to 55.  The middle is precisely the point where many women (and men) choose change for the sake of change.  The middle is when we are all tempted to reverse or change course on a journey that should be seen through to completion by faith.  The goal is not to alter the destination or abandon the path.

Everything in the middle is more difficult.  And to stay in integrity, to be strong and courageous, to resist idolatry, and refuse selling your soul for security or money or personal peace and affluence feels far harder than it did when you were young and all your prospects in front of you.  In the middle, it is easier to see the doctor, to see the obstacles, to change things up instead of clean things out, to buy new cars and expensive remedies and better clothes instead of investing in friends and faith and contentment.  It is easier to make excuses than it is to create beauty in the life and relationships we already have.

Before you decide to commit to your fear, or pledge yourself to pain so that change for the sake of change seems justified - here are three steps, three principles governing mid-life self-care that I've never heard anyone talk about, but I challenge you to live into:

1.  Rest.  Rest from your own efforts to feel more secure.  Free-fall into everlasting arms, and make the grace of God the great passion of your middle soul.  Read Galatians as if your life depended on it.

2.  Resonate.  To borrow a worn-out, kind of new-agey term, I have to tell you:  heaven has a resonance.  That resonance is faith.  Begin to believe God again, dear one.  Change for the sake of change is not healthy.  But to step out and do something you couldn't do before, for reasons far bigger than your own personal peace, is the healthiest thing you could imagine doing.  Pray in the Spirit.  Sing in the Spirit.  Soak your soul in worship.  Devote yourself to the community of your local church.  Come under healthy leadership and government.  These things will raise your resonance, both instantly and over time, to match heaven's vibration.  You will begin to walk super-naturally as a rule, and chasing natural remedy won't be as necessary.

3.  Respond.  Respond - not to your fears.  Stop designing a life around prevention and fear.  Rather, respond to your creative longings.  Nine times out of ten, those creative longings were placed there by the Masterpiece Maker.  The designer of your unique soul has infused your being with a message that needs proclaiming.  He's made it so that your gifts are the mechanism of proclamation.  He has surrounded you with people who need convincing.  Respond to all these sign-posts, and your midlife journey will take on beautiful texture and significance.

My Story Matters {...and so does yours...}

I’m a grandmother now.  A Mimi, to be precise.  Before I know it, this one (in the picture below) will get married and have her first baby, and I will be a great-grandmother.  

I’m old enough today, to be carrying several versions of myself inside me, like Russian dolls. 

I'll be 50 years old this November.  Turning 50 is like having my 21-year-old self still inside me - the one who had just given birth to identical twin girls and who consequently never slept my 21st year.  I have inside me the 31-year-old version of myself - the one who was a pastor’s wife, who made Sloppy Joe lentils for her family, and ate everything whole food and low fat. 

I even have the 41-year-old Sheila still inside me, now.  The one who was trying to raise children who would live right and have no regrets - the 41-year-old momma who home educated all four, who had run hard and long and who had her finish line in sight,  whose job was almost done, and whose heart was on the cusp of being shattered in a million pieces.

Boyhood goes from this...

...to this...

From this...

...to this...

I suspected, but didn't know for sure when I was 41, that the "boys of summer" were about to be gone forever.  Boyhood innocence sometimes vanishes

in ways we hoped it wouldn't.

Children grow up.  They all do.  

Yeah.  I was a "basketball mom".  Whose son was headed for university.

If I'd known then, on that very day right up there, if I'd known then what I know now...

...I would still have done it.  All of it.

The overall story of my life has one theme:

The supremacy of Christ in all of life.  

Christ in my life as a teenage girl who overcame being told by classmates grade after grade, year after year that she was ugly, but who placed third in the Junior Miss Pageant - and scored the top score of all contestants in a category called poise and appearance.  

Christ the source of joy as a young bride - when I found out that married love was profound and beautiful, but Jesus was even better.  

Christ, the giver of peace when my nest suddenly emptied as two beautiful capable daughters married Godly men (see here and here and here), 

and two sons went temporarily AWOL, becoming prodigals…and I coped with feeling like the enemy of my soul had won.  

Christ, my all-in-all as a grandmother whose first grandchild, a boy named after my husband, lived with us for almost three years, along with his parents, while his momma  and daddy saved up for a house.  A house that, little did we know, would be the house next door.   

Christ, the giver of grace upon grace upon grace as my other twin daughter and her husband bought the other house next door, and two of my granddaughters moved all their pink tiaras and dolls and shiny shoes into those rooms.

Christ, who redeems every situation, as my oldest son became a first-time dad...

My story is His story. My life has but one context: the sacred-beautiful transforming power of grace, as found in the Gospel of the finished work of Christ.

All my stories find their significance in the One story of who God is. So tell your stories, too. My stories are not about me. Sure, I am the main character in my life story, that's how God made things to be, but the story itself is a manifesto of Him who made me.

What have you been a witness of? Bear witness, sister! 

Bearing witness isn't always quoting scripture. It is the telling of story. We....WE are His letters, His workmanship.

A Free Art Tutorial {...my VERY FIRST "talk-to-you-while-I-work" video!}

(next in my sketchbook series "A More Beautiful Question".  This one is entitled "What Are You Waiting For?")

This may be my last free art video for awhile.

I say it is the last, at least for now, because the time has come for me to choose a platform (something very simple, as I am not looking to form my own social community - I ultimately want my work to focus on the making of art, not the editing of video or the management of a large website) and start filming a paid class.

 The real question is how to pick, from all the ideas I have in my head, what should be my first - very own - paid art class? I have ideas ranging from...

 ...nevermind. I think I have my very first copycat out there (no - it isn't you) and so my business mentors teach me to keep a little more to myself than I have before. My tendency is to share in detail, and that isn't always necessary or beneficial.

Suffice it to say that my teaching style tends to blend art instruction with Bible teaching with stand up comedy....(it's the alcohol...just kidding!)   In short, anything can and usually does happen when I strap on a mic.

Here's a behind-the-scenes look at last night's shoot:

I'm nothing if not cutting-edge, as you can see.

Above, you see those drawers you'll hear open/close/open/close all throughout the tutorial.

To say that I'm visually inspired might be an understatement.  And I can't wait to finish re-decorating this entire studio.  The blue walls are about to get a one-way-ticket to...

...nevermind.  I'm not going to say what I'm thinking.

Above is the easel that, in the video, I promised you a picture of.  All that yummy dried paint.  I can't throw it away.

So here's my last free video offering for a little while.  I apologize ahead of time because this video is well over an hour.  For your convenience, I chose to divide it into seven parts.

I realize it is a lot of information.  A long lesson.  But when I filmed this last night...

(I know.  The worst time to shoot video.  But The Preacher was at the church late, I had the house to myself, and I'm alone far less than you might think.  I can't get all my imaginary friends to go home.)

...I decided I was going for it.  I decided I was going to put my very first "talk while I work" video out into the world.

Yeah.  This is the first time I talk to all of you while I work.  (I told you I can't get my imaginary friends to leave.  What were y'all doing still in my studio at 10 PM last night?!)  And consequently, I made up my mind that I was going to stick with this, forge through, power through, and, as Seth Godin says, "SHIP."  Even if the resulting image was crap.

(I'll leave it for you to decide, as to the finished image...but you may not make fun of my accent...)

;)



 

For the Love of My Scruffy Little City {....Knoxville, TN}

Lately, I've had a desire to sketch and paint local, urban subject matter.  In the past, every time The Preacher and I took a Monday Funday day-or-half-day off, we'd take a trip to the Smokies.  He'd haul his huge Nikon, and I'd drag along my portable studio...(an art bag filled with "just the essentials".  Only - the essentials keep multiplying.  hashtag Ihaveanaddictiontoartsupplies.)

After years of this personal art practice, after years of taking off on the occasional but pretty consistent Monday (I wish it was every Monday) I now have whole sketch books full of mountain and meadow scenes.

And suddenly, this week, I told The Preacher I want to tackle my town.

So we went and shot Knoxville all up this evening.  Since sunrise or sunset or overcast are really the only times sane photogs shoot, we checked our local weather and saw that today or tomorrow would be peak time, this week.

Tip:  You can only get to so many places during said peak time, when the light is luscious.  We will have to do this again.  And again.  Looks like my Mondays are all planned out for the foreseeable future.

You know I hate that.  Especially when it involves dinner out.

 (today's menu)

 (bathroom selfie - because you can't not.)

Disclaimer:  every shot here was taken with my iPhone 6 - not my big girl camera.  I just wanted shots for sketches and paintings today - The Preacher took the "real" photographs.

My town used to be called the "Scruffy Little City" a few generations ago.  Today, it is beginning to rival Nashville when it comes to music and art.

My town has the iconic:

...and the weirdly iconic:

And if you watch closely, especially on any foreseeable Monday, you might see a preacher shooting up the city, all dressed in Volunteer Orange:

(His wife will probably be in a random bathroom, taking a selfie.  Don't watch for her.)



This scene stopped me in my tracks, quite literally.  Not the one above, of the cute preacher shooting the town - the one below.

The Preacher kept walking darn near a block before he realized he had lost me to this:

Isn't that dreamy?  Now I have to go back and eat there.  Right there.  Nothing less will do.


The Preacher had to screech to a halt, and then sigh while making a U-turn on a sketchy side street, because I begged to be able to grab this shot out the truck passenger side window:

Stay tuned this upcoming Monday...

I will be out of the house and roaming my city.

"Trust" {...a face painting demo...}

In my previous video tutorial, I demonstrated that anyone can play with visual art.  You don't have to understand perspective or proportions or painting, and you can begin to create art for under $20, with a piece of paper, 4-5 colors of pastels, a piece of charcoal, and a water soluble graphite pencil. With just those tools, you can take off, and create layers and interest and whatever your heart desires.

Today, I want to share my (loosely stated) "process" for painting a face.  I say "loosely stated", because my process and my methods are loose and always growing and evolving.  I could almost say "this is how I painted a face yesterday" -  today will be different.

But I am a working artist (meaning:  my paintings have sold and do consistently sell, both originals and prints) and thus, I do have somewhat of a sort of, kind of process, and I'd love to freely share.

As usual, I can't create video content without sharing the things that have been on my heart lately.  So if you don't want to hear that part, just turn down the sound.  I won't be a bit mad if you do that.

But if you want to be encouraged to trust the Lord with all your heart, alongside a bit of art instruction...you might want to pour yourself a cup of coffee and sit down with me.

I've divided the original half-hour video into three parts, about 9 minutes each.  I sure hope you enjoy!

"Put A Bird On It" ~ A Simple Art Making Video {...using pastels...}

I am very close to having my video production workflow down-pat.  ::cheers, confetti::

Practice doesn't "make" perfect, in my opinion.  Practice is, itself, a perfect thing.  You can't ever get in too much art practice - or video production practice.

And, because I have spring on the brain, I made you a truly un-intimidating art video - with birds as the subject matter.  All you need is a charcoal stick (or willow stick), a water soluble graphite pencil, pastels in shades of ochre, white or cream, and blue (or any colors you prefer)...and maybe an oil pastel or two.

In this video, I show you just one of many techniques I use to create backgrounds that are richly layered and interesting.  Since I limited myself, for this video, to mostly pastels and willow stick (or charcoal) and a 20 minute time limit, this is quite simple to do.

Are you hearing the beginnings of spring, where you live?  Around here, there is already much more birdsong in the early mornings...

Enjoy.

PS.  I began this video wearing latex gloves.  But since I have the tiny paws of a kindergarten child, I can't ever find gloves that fit.  At some point, I ditched them.  (I know I'll be asked...just answering ahead of time...)

A "Thank You" To A Few of My Art Teachers {...and a quick, expressive face-drawing video...}

One session (or two or three) with an artist whose work you admire,  or whose lifestyle is one you'd like to hear more about, emulate, or even soak up in person (if you are wildly blessed), is often enough to impact your own art practice forever.  

I know it to be true.  I've lived it.  

About two years ago, someone who I have yet to meet in person, and who I am sure wants to be anonymous (otherwise I would gladly tell you her name - giving credit where credit is due is one of my strengths, actually) gifted me with an expensive online class.

It was, as I remember, a three month journey, a deep dive into many art mediums and techniques, with an emphasis on expressive portrait painting.  It has changed my practice of art ever since.  

Since I cannot thank her publicly, I wanted to take this opportunity to thank three of the teachers who have most impacted my art - as well as share a couple of artists (of a very small handful) from whom I hope to learn in the future.

(You'll have to watch the video to see which artists have influenced me most in the last two years.  Come back after the video to see who the artist is, at whose feet I hope to sit in the next two years...)




Right now, this moment, I am loving getting to learn from a new-to-me artist, Julie Johnson (whose Instagram feed is a must follow, if you love art).  I am taking her new class entitled "Making Art Sing" and have already learned so much I can't wait to sit down with my Inktense pencils.

In coming months and years, I hope to learn from my own son-in-law Jonathan Howe.

He has a unique style - one that I don't want to copy.  I have my own style - and I'm proud of it and I have worked hard to establish my own artistic voice.  But I believe Jonathan could teach me a thing or five about oils and color theory and values...and perspective and drawing and pretty much everything.  He is the sort of teacher who would respect my own unique style, and could teach to it.

I've already taken one of his live classes, and it lit a fire in me for oils that is entirely incompatible with the flammable nature of the medium.  But there you have it.

I want to take all I have learned, and the style I have established with mixed media and acrylics, and translate it into oils.

Someday.

links to the artists featured in my video:

Jeanne Oliver

Gillian Lee Smith

Misty Mawn