Golden and God-Kissed

A gift of a golden, God-kissed day

That began by finding it hard to say, "I'm unavailable for now"

And we laughed until it hurt.

A gift on a golden, God-kissed day

Of purple geode, pottery, poodle candle, probably a Shetland pony

Had I wanted one. But I'm too busy.


A gift through a golden, God-kissed day

Zipping horizontally, soaring, hilarious, precarious

Dead-serious about living while we're alive.

A gift by the means of a golden, God-kissed day
Of Mexican in the afternoon, ribeye at night
And disposable cups toasting prosperity of relationship.


A gift up a golden, God-kissed day
Sitting in suspended animation, holding his hand, sliding vertically,
Peering intently at Mt. LeConte, visualizing the Next Adventure.

A gift. One golden, God-kissed day.
Darts, fizz, sorry for those who are so religious they intimidate the Anti-Christ
Reveling in being together, nothing more.

If this was just one golden, God-kissed day
Just one pearl on a strand of many, what will a lifetime of days be?
The Lord says, "Very good."

A Word Fitly Spoken...

I am one who feels she has experienced the goodness of God in her life, more than His discipline. I'm a trophy of grace. Goodness and mercy follow me, by design. The Lord does so many things "just for me" - things that typically stay "our secret" for many months or even years, before I share the stories. I am His Achsah (Joshua 15: 16-19) ...a daughter who boldly asks for, and receives, unheard of double-favor - as much, if not more, than any son. But I have not altogether been without long seasons (so long!) of being disciplined by Abba...otherwise, I would be an illegitimate daughter, and not an heir. The rod of discipline eventually becomes the "rod...that comforts me." I see a propensity in God, by His use of the rod in my life, to drive me through rough and frightening places, on into green pastures beside still waters, so that ultimately I can experience true joy.

Towards that end, I share this quote:

"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." ~ M. Scott Peck

Sarah...

This is my other first-born daughter, Sarah. (Her identical twin is Hannah...) She's the one who went to Cambodia recently...and the picture you see above, perfectly captures her spirit ~ "I Love Fun!" and "Have Backpack, Will Travel."



This girl of mine lives for adventure. She is known in these parts for outworking the men on many-a-job-site. Currently, she is learning the ropes of the home construction industry, with hopes to one day have the skills to build (or oversee the building of) homes and churches and simple structures, in any nation on this spinning earth.



But she's all girl, too. She can't stand to wear her hair too short, and if you open her closet, the shoes...pairs upon pairs upon pairs....come tumbling out in colors and styles galore. Yet, day after day, she leaves the house in old tennis shoes, and all that hair slapped up into the cutest messy bun you ever saw. You see...for all the shoes, our Sarah isn't overly fashion forward, a trait her family takes great delight in teasing her about - which brings me to another of her defining characteristics: her thick skin.



Sarah can take a joke, a correction, and even a personal afront with a greater amount of calm and class than most young women I know. She simply will not get her knickers in a knot over small stuff, and to Sarah, it is almost all small stuff. She's courageous, that girl is. Strong. Tough. She can travel to the other side of the world, eat what is set before her there, ride elephants and motorcycles, and scrub nasty toilets in foreign lands without batting an eye. High maintenence, she definitely is not....well, when she doesn't want to be.



She has a laugh that can charm the meanest snake, and a smile that makes her eyes disappear, the corners of them crinkling in contagious delight.



She's recently begun classes at Trinity's College of Ministry (http://www.trinitycollegeofministry.org/ ) with an eye towards completing the missions track....these days you often see her with a book or her laptop, puzzling over Old Testament geography, or the meaning of grace. This, I love. As I watch God form her (often in the fire) into who He has planned for her to be, my heart cannot help but swell with Motherly Pride.



I know she'll be leaving us one day - either for Timbuktoo or a man. Or both. But "won't you smile awhile for me, Sarah?" Being your mom has been pure joy....

More Grace, Whenever You Need It...

Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need. (Heb. 4:16)

(me...utterly enjoying more grace....)

I remember, in my twenties, becoming paralyzed by the teaching of a man I deeply respected. (A man no longer in my circle of associations...I do not know what has become of him.) He preached, passionately, that we've been given all we need in Christ. He very convincingly presented a gospel that declares a work having already been exceedingly and abundantly and completely done at the cross.

While every word of that is true, I then somehow came away with the wrong idea. I don't know if what I "got" from his radical sermons was what he meant for me to get - but what I heard was that the call of Christ was the call to come and die daily, the cross was all there was currently available to me, and thus I am to deny any personal desire to experience the love of God in fresh ways. The love of God was proven at the cross...what more did I need?

I've been years getting those concepts out of my spirit. In times of distress, depression, or even simple "stress", I have always tried to pull myself up by the bootstraps, and look at the cross alone. Right there, at Calvary, is my solution, cut and dried. I was taught by this great teacher that any ongoing revelation or experience of grace beyond looking to that cross, is entirely superfluous, and charismatic nonsense.

Well, now I know that we truly prophesy "in part". That was (and is) only a partial truth. It is truth, and it will need to be applied to our lives from time to time, and in certain situations. "Look to the cross, alone. It is enough". I have no doubt of it!

But the other part of the gospel is this stunning and ongoing involvement of the Father, in giving us "more grace". James 4:6 says "He gives us more grace." This verse is in context of our human propensity to sin. This verse is in the context of humility - God gives "more grace" to the humble.

More! Not some pre-determined, measured-at-the-cross, theologically correct amount of salvation. I can wallow in sheer over-abundance of moment-to-moment mercy, with more on the way in the morning. Not only that, but to she who possesses any God-gift, to her more shall be given.

Own the grace of God. Claim it with all the confidence in the Son's sacrifice. If you do that, more will be given. Utilize grace for every time of need. This is part of the humility that attracts "more grace" into our lives!

Humility comes entirely from an urgent awareness of our neediness. When I am most needy, most undone, altogether unable to help myself, God gives me "more grace".

"More" grace is Biblical! This continues to bring great freedom to my bound-up theology. God gives grace to help in time of need. This covers yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and it covers absolutely all reasons for my neediness. There is no qualification as to what sort of need qualifies for urgent grace. "Let us therefore come"....these words echo down through the corridors of history and time, and touch my spirit even tonight.

Let us come...today, tomorrow, and when we are much older. Let us come moment by moment, if we must. The more we come, the more we get. The only prerequisite is a knowlege of our need. Never...never analyze whether your need is theologically correct. Needy qualifies. Period. Thank God that He is delivering me from the paralysis of analysis, brought on by a zealous Bible teacher, more than twenty years ago.

Yes, the once-and-for-all sacrifice of Christ is more than enough. Forever. But you can experience something dynamic and fresh, in addition to all that unquestionable sufficiency. If your "time of need" is now, more grace is waiting. Go get it!

Liberating, no?

Dare to Fail More Often!

If we are truly people of faith, we must be willing to fail more often. If we fail infrequently, it means we are not acting boldly enough or lovingly enough, enough of the time. It means we are hiding behind walls of past successes and shrinking from present-day risks which will determine what is possible. Unless we fail on a regular basis, God will have insufficient raw material with which to work. It is from our haphazard efforts that the Holy One can sculpt works of art. So be unafraid. Dare to fail more often!
— Hope Douglas J. Harle-Mould

Only God Can!

He brought light out of darkness, not out of a lesser light; he can bring your summer out of winter, though you have no spring; though in the ways of fortune, or understanding, or conscience, you have been benighted until now, wintered and frozen, clouded and eclipsed, damped and benumbed, smothered and stupefied till now, now God comes to you, not as in the dawning of the day, not as in the bud of the spring, but as the sun at noon.
--John Donne

Grace Toppled My Idols...

Whoever your peace and sense of well-being depends on, that person has become a false god in your life.

Grace can flat-out tear down our idols. The opposite of grace is the letter of law. The letter of the law is, in most cases, and in this application, an unwritten code of conduct that we apply to others - especially those we care about most. We may think we've come out from under law - but we can know we've come out from under it when our "code" gets violated, and we still don't lose our peace and well-being.

This past early-June, I was wrestling over some disappointment I was going through. The feelings were intense. In retrospect, I can now see that everything I'd known about grace was about to be sifted and fine-tuned. I was on the cusp of a whole new world - a new place in God, where grace wore skin...my skin.

The Holy Spirit said to me, "You can hang onto this intense desire to see your children walk with Me, or you can intensely desire Me. I will be your "one thing", or nothing at all. Any desire that competes with the desire for more of Me is idolatry."

Huge revelation. I cannot begin to put into words how my world stopped turning, paused in suspended animation, and then reversed both its spinning and its orbit that night. My God became my "one thing".

One thing have I desired of the Lord, and that will I seek after...

I had honestly thought, all these years of pouring my heart into my mothering and my home schooling, that the desire that my children walk with God, and the desire for God Himself, were as close to one-in-the-same as any two desires could be. I never imagined for a moment that my longing to see my kids follow the Lord with the same passion as their parents had become the singlemost dangerous idol in my life.

That's the thing about being self deceived. If you knew you were deceived, then you would no longer be deceived at all!

I didn't know.

And it is a whole new world, a new place in God, a new learning curve that has me shooting straight up, vertically, into the heart of the Father....learning "of" Him, not just "about" Him. Getting to know His ways, not just His acts. It is also the hardest thing, ever.

There are so many things I have no control over, and my children's lives are at the top of that long list. And I have great kids! Great kids....but no control over their lives, ultimately. Let me assure you, you don't realize that so much when they are small. You don't realize that so much when they are teenagers. In fact, you don't realize it so much until they make a fundamentally wrong choice, and the consequences are no longer artificial, and parent-contrived.

But there is one thing I have "control" over, if you can call it control. I can have as much of the Lord as I want. I can have as much of God as I can contain.

That night, outside on my deck, looking up at early-June stars, I chose. Then, I sighed deeply. It was a sigh that came from the depths of my being; involuntary, and revealing...almost a shudder. It was a sigh that was the unavoidable result of my letting go of what was the most dear to me in this world, placing it in the Father's hands....and walking away. Forever.

I do mean forever. The choice was made, that night. It has had only to be re-inforced since then, not revisited or remade. It will be re-inforced over and over. Making the peace is winning the war. Keeping the peace is re-inforcing the victory. And it is still not easy.

He will be my One Thing that I desire, and that (alone) will I seek after. Finally, for the first time in my whole life perhaps, no other desire I have can begin to compare to my desire for God - Himself, alone.

As a consequence, He personally looks after what concerns me. He takes care of my heart. He nurtures my soul. My soul, well-fed on the grace of God, has no need to get its sense of well-being from the performance of others - my children least of all. A mother's soul, at rest in her God, is a much healthier resource to her children. A soul filled with Christ, never has to grub about for an idol to comfort it.

I'll tell you what I know: you have not lived until you have smashed your idols. And you cannot smash them without a revelation of the grace of your God. Without an understanding of grace, you may never even know they are there.