Relationships - Worth Fighting For

Nothing...no, nothing...has matured me more deeply, or built more character into me, or frustrated me more than the relationships God strategically places in my life. There is no greater discipline, no greater depth of maturity, no better means of achieving Godly character, than the commitment to simply love one's family, and the people of God in one's local church. Obviously, family is a far greater covenant relationship than local church, but we can never escape the fact that these two proving-grounds test us and try us to the breaking point...to the point where everything in us screams, "I Quit!"


....but we stay. We refuse to come down from our cross, but rather die there.


Love to the point of having to be patient. Love when it is difficult to be kind. Love in spite of people's track record. Love, when I have the sense that, one day, I might not be loved in return. Love anyway.


Love people who are less sophisticated than I. Love people who know less than I. Love people who are far more sophisticated than I. Love people who know more than I.

Love people who think they know more than I.

Love people who offend me. Love people who hurt me deeply. Love people who disagree with me on doctrinal incidentals. Love people who disagree with me on gut-level fundamentals. Love the sinner, love the saint. Love my neighbor as myself.


It takes work to achieve a college degree. It takes work to pay off a house. It takes work to plant a church. It takes work to raise children. Anything worth a great deal, costs a great deal.

Love is worth fighting for. Why do we think that right relationships, particularly in our marriages and with our parents or our children, do not require long and strenuous effort, at times?

Love is the basis of the finest sort of spiritual maturity and character development.

The Finer Things in Life

I have pretty much always had my own ideas of what constitutes wealth. My daughter Sarah has been to Cambodia twice, and will eventually be going again for a long-term commitment. Which, come to think of it, is one of my concepts of wealth. All four of my children, in this season, are on the same page with their parents in faith, philosophy, and family affection. They each one express their unity with us in diverse ways ~ ways their father and I wouldn't necessarily adopt as our own mode of expressing our love for God and each other. It is quite cool, actually.



I worshipped side by side with my oldest son this past Sunday, hands raised to the Lord of Glory. One daughter's ambition in life is to be an anchor and support for the local church, and she is an anointed worship leader. The other daughter's ambition is to take the gospel of grace to the nations. The youngest son thought nothing of joining me in a loud chorus of The Newsboys version of "In Christ Alone" yesterday, in the car. Our first week of school has been outstanding...fun....blessed. Tim and I are deeply in love with each other, still. That, gentle reader, is riches galore. A mission accomplished. Many goals achieved. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but Jesus said not to think about it anyway. Today, much of what I have dreamed of is already mine.



To be able to say that for a day in one's life, much less a season or perhaps a lifetime....well, "rich" doesn't come close to describing this lifestyle.



The currency of true riches often looks like this:



today's offerings from the garden

picked today...



hydrangeas, picked today...


son-in-law, and youngest son, today (son-in-law takes time to sow into the life of youngest son)



random schoolbooks...




world map - many destinations still undiscovered by an Atchley...we'll get to them eventually.





added a picture of the third newest couple today...


I'm wealthy in some ways money can buy. Compared to believers in Cambodia, I am fabulously rich. And I am wealthy in all ways money cannot buy. Health, joy, grace, Christ, family, green beans freshly picked, and the fellowship of like minded believers - it all adds up to riches untold.





























Piper's Happy Confession - AND Mine, Too!

I have utmost respect for the character and theological mind and poetic passion of John Piper. So you can imagine my delight in discovering that he and I have been on the same page! Below is from his pen, entitled, "My Happy Confession":


This is my confession:

I was born into a believing family through no merit of my own at all.

I was given a mind to think and a heart to feel through no merit of my own at all.

I was brought into the hearing of the gospel through no merit of my own at all.

My rebellion was subdued, my hardness removed, my blindness overcome, and my deadness awakened through no merit of my own at all.

Thus I became a believer in Christ through no merit of my own at all.

And so I am an heir of God with Christ through no merit of my own at all.

Now when I put forward effort to please the Lord who bought me, this is to me no merit at all, because

...it is not I, but the grace of God that is with me. (1 Corinthians 15:10)
...God is working in me that which is pleasing in his sight. (
Hebrews 13:21)
...he fulfills every resolve for good by his power. (
2 Thessalonians 1:11)
And therefore there is no ground for boasting in myself, but only in God’s mighty grace.
Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord. (
1 Corinthians 1:31)

In the words of the Psalmist, "my soul boasts in God. The humble will hear it and be glad!" Thank you, Mr. Piper. I hear this, and I am greatly gladdened in my soul.

Christian Perfection

Some people have whack-job ideas of "Christian perfection". I'm all for John Wesley, John Owen, William Law, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, so long as you have a foundation in Romans 5, Romans 8, all of Ephesians, all of Galatians, all of I John....um, actually, all of the New Testament. Get your foundation of the gospel of grace well-laid, and then the writings of the dead guys won't mess with your mind.

I wholeheartedly agree with the writer of Hebrews 6, "Let us grow up into maturity, and get beyond just merely having our doctrine straight." (Note: maturity, or "perfection", comes after foundational doctrines are laid.) In Hebrews 6, the writer pleads, "People, let's get on with it."

"Leaving the doctrines of Christ" does not mean leaving them behind. Rather, it means getting on with the program, and building the beautiful edifice. It means putting something on that Christ-foundation. Putting something on that foundation means you and I, being built together as living stones, the result of which will be maturity, i.e. "perfection".

Burning question: what is Christian maturity?

Short answer: right relationships.

Long answer: the law never brought anyone or anything to maturity. Hebrews 7:19. But the New Covenant ("the bringing of a better hope") did. What sort of lifestyle is becoming a New Covenant son or daughter of God?

"Above all these things, put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness." Col. 3:14

"Whoever says 'I know Him', but keeps not His commandments, is a liar and the truth is not in him. Whoever keeps His word, in him truly is the love of God perfected, and by this we know we are in Him." I John 2: 4,5

Next, I John 3: 23 unlocks all of I John, and once-and-for-all clarifies this thing called Christian perfection:

"This is his commandment: That we should believe on the name of his Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, as he gave us commandment. The man who keeps these commandments, dwells in Him, and He in him..."

Love. Right relationships. This is the essence of "perfection". In other words, it separates the men from the boys.

Purposefully Ignorant

I was telling someone not long ago that I have to be the dumbest pastor's wife that ever was. I'm not theologically ignorant. I'm not intellectually sloppy. I took a for-real IQ test last year, and my IQ is equivalent to that of anyone with a Master's degree. So I am not that kind of stupid.

I choose not to sweat the small stuff. Heck, I choose not to sweat some of the big stuff. If anyone comes to me, to fill me in on what "people in the church" are saying, I don't hear them. Sure, I "hear" the person talking, but none of it registers. ("..everybody's talkin' at me, but I don't hear a word they're sayin', only the echoes of my mind...woh woh woh woh woh..." remember the old Harry Nilson song? I sometimes call it the leader's anthem.)

I don't care - not like they want me to care. What it is, is I don't feel the need to know. Typically, that phrase "people in the church" means one or two other naysayers, usually including the person who is attempting to inform me.

(And no, this has not happened recently, at all, whatsoever. So this is a perfectly safe thing to say right now...)

I don't burn up the telephone. Ask my family. I am never on the phone. This has been my habit for twenty years. I don't go from house to house "chatting" with people. Not like that. Tim and I fellowship all the time - not because we are needy or bored or lonely or wishing to "feel out" what someone thinks about church matters, but rather because we genuinely enjoy people. Otherwise, I keep my nose in my own business, and work with my hands so that my family has need of nothing it is in my power to give them.

Last night, we had dinner with a couple in our church, and we didn't discuss a single church-related issue. And this couple are "in the know", they are leaders, and yet we didn't care to talk about some of the huge issues we have recently put behind us as a fellowship. Those issues were not even insinuated. We laughed till we cried when we tried to say all our names backwards (our host's name sounded quite Arabic...or was it French?). We discussed everything from artichokes to theology, and it was all genuine and happy and faith-building.

Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss recent events, small minds discuss people. Teeny tiny minds try to say people's names backwards, but that is beside the point.

God always brings my ministry or counseling opportunities to my attention, His way. I do not ever have to seek them out. And heaven knows, I don't need to hear about all the contention. I never know who is thinking about leaving her husband, unless the woman tells me herself. I never know whose nose is bent out of joint, because I am simply not a magnet for that sort of information. I don't draw it to myself. I don't know who is mad at me, because they can try, and they have tried before, to insult me to my face, and I sometimes don't catch on. It goes right over my head. I'm too busy assuming everyone thinks I'm likable and lovable.

And when I do catch on, I've been known to crack up laughing over it. My sense of humor has it's dark side, and yes, I am incorrigible.

Actually, my ignorance is depth, according to the ancient men of faith. Thomas a'Kempis said this:

"My son, in many things it is thy duty to be ignorant, to esteem thyself as dead upon earth, and as one to whom the whole world is crucified. It is thy duty to pass by many things with a deaf ear, and rather to think of those things which belong unto thy peace. It is far more useful to turn away one's eyes from unpleasant things, and to leave everyone to his own opinion, rather than become a slave to someones contentious discourses."

I can have honest discourses all day long - even heated ones. But I've turned a deaf ear to a few discourses in my day, when I saw they were simply contentious. I am no one's slave, and I do not have to listen to it. I have just bowed right out, and said, "I'm done here."

I'd rather iron my underwear or dance to an old James Taylor tune, or discuss soteriology with Timothy over a cold glass of Dr. Pepper.

In my opinion, the greatest minds could do all three at the same time.

Another Summer Gone By...

Well, this week marks the unofficial end of summer. School starts Monday.

Where has the time gone? It does seem like yesterday that I woke up, mid-May, the morning after my daughter's wedding. I said to myself, "Once we get everything cleaned up and put away today, I have the whole summer to rest and recuperate." The weeks stretched out in front of me, rather deliciously.

My life is a dang vapor. I mean, really. The weeks have gone by as though they were two days.

And not only did I not get an opportunity to rest, Tim and I have been tested and tried like never before - physically, relationally, spiritually, you name it! Most pastors would be declaring a year-long sabbatical by now. Not my pastor. He is learning to count it all joy, when he encounters trials of various kinds, and all at the same time. And I do mean trials. Fiery.

The trying of his faith is creating something in him that is mature and complete, lacking nothing. The hard part is that, since he leads and I follow, my faith is also being tried, as gold in the fire. I got no control of him - he is a stark raving gospel preaching madman. What is a girl to do? All I can do is stand and watch him do what he does, support him with my God-given gifts, hitch up my big girl underwear and deal with it.

But you know something weird? Once everything in my life that could be shaken has been, so that what cannot be shaken remains, I lately find that I am strong, and very close to what some might even call "tranquil". Well, as tranquil as a woman with my temperament can get. My whole world has undergone transition, but one thing remains the same: the gospel of Jesus Christ. I can say with utmost integrity that it has not only changed my destiny, it changes my day. On this gospel, I have staked my claim. Here, I have placed my hope. Here, I draw significant, life-fulfilling solace. My friends, this gospel is real.

Some. Things. Simply. Cannot. Be. Shaken.

In the last one week alone, I have watched my oldest son go out sharing the gospel in the streets, prayed with my youngest son as he experienced a fresh move of God in his life, shared Christ myself with a woman in my neighborhood and prayed with her, heard of a man receiving Christ two nights ago, in our downtown Market Square, because a group from our church led him to the Lord; I've received encouragement from as nearby as across town, and as far away as Scotland, I've listened to my mother testify to the power of the grace of God delivering her from a lifetime of condemnation (and she, already a very seasoned, mature saint), I've observed the ministry of my father, as he invests his time and his considerable anointing into my sons, and spent quite a lot of time with my daughters, receiving from them, allowing them to minister to me, and bring the word of the Lord to me!

No wonder the weeks go by so fast. No wonder the enemy is upset.

For a great door and effectual is opened unto me, and there are many adversaries. (I Cor. 16)

What a summer. What a God. What favor I have been shown, in Christ Jesus!

The Beauty of a Life Lived in Community


Women who are cynical are more likely to die of stress-related illness. The gospel of Christ is the only antidote to stress, cynicism, skepticism, and loneliness. A life lived in community, centered on the truth of the Word of God, is the only well lived life.


If I live to the proportion I care about others, and to the degree I am loved...if I am granted years in my life, in proportion to the life in my years, I am going to live to be an old woman.


These came for me today. From a friend. I mean, a bona-fide sister in Christ who loves me for the long haul. She's already been in relationship with me for longer than we can remember, and I've probably offended her deeply and several times over the years.


We love each other.


Talk about blessing my life and my day! Talk about health to my bones! I could never thank her enough, but she has never demanded that I try. This woman loves Jesus, and she loves me, and lives her life as though loving God and loving her sister were one in the same thing.
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Beautiful.