Chapter IV, In Which God Laughs, (having something to do with Pink Hair...)

You'll forgive me, if I've been reading Winnie-the-Pooh, by AA Milne. If I had a shrink, who knew Children's Literature, it would come Highly Recommended for stress. Alas, I haven't a shrink - but I myself know Children's Lit'rature. I read and laugh, and laugh and read, and find myself reflected in the antics of Piglet, Pooh, Owl, and yes, even sometimes Eeyore.

All the chapters begin much like the title of this blog: chapter thus-and-so, in which Tigger comes to the forest and has Breakfast...

Breakfast, with a capital "B". One must capitalize certain words, when writing about stuffed animals, or else it simply ceases to be Funny.

I was at Wal-Mart Superstore yesterday. "It was a blustery day", and that is not a plagearism of AA Milne's Own Words...though they are his. Ahem. Anyways, picture rain...and more rain....and more rain. A cold rain. A windy rain. I was in the consequential Bad Mood because of it. I had to slosh about my end of town in my rain gear and stretchy pants. Used to being Rather Fashionable, I was having a no good, terribly bad day. I had much to purchase in way of provisions, feeling exhausted for No Good Reason, and had no one to help...

...and so I was grumbley.

I happened to spy a woman in Wal-Mart who was Fashionably Dressed. I, who never feel a pang of envy, wondered what that hot spot was in my chest....could it....could it, it couldn't be. Not I. But there she was - red knit dress peeking out from underneath the perfect trench coat, with the belt wrapped about the waist and tied "just so"; her brunette hair was wound into an elegant chignon (all that rain, you see, what's a Raven-Haired Barbie to do with her voluptuous mane?) and she wore high heeled, black boots. She was perfection, stepping smartly down the toilet paper aisle.

I sniffed at her obvious inexperience with Weather Reports, and hurried on.

It was then I saw the lady with the Pink Hair. Gentle reader, her hair really is a decided shade of brownish pink. But the pink is unmistakeable. You'd do a double-take, too, trust me. And she always wears a pink wool coat. Bubble gum pink.

I say "always", because I would wager that, in the last three winters, I have spied this woman more than a dozen times - in that same pink wool coat, with her pinky-brown long hair. Its a freakish thing, really, for one to always be spotting a woman with Pink Hair, wearing a Pink Coat. It can fray the nerves, actually. I blinked hard, and looked again. Yes. It was her. Again.

I grumbled to myself, "That woman must alllllways be out shopping. I mean, every time I see her, she is out shopping....Wal-Mart, Target, Home Depot, the shoe store...does she have a job?"

It was then, the Epiphany happened. A still, small, logical voice from deep within said, "I say, aren't you out shopping, whenever you see her out shopping?" Then, I looked straight down at my feet.

Pink rain boots.

I certainly looked just as hilarious, with my grumpy disposition and pink rubber boots. I laughed out loud, and had a Much Better Day.

How quick I can be to judge...

Post a Comment