When You Are A Hammer...

...everyone else looks like a nail.

This past year, due to several situations I had run up against, not the least of which is my relationship with my boys, I began to read all I can, from a Biblical worldview, about dealing with difficult people.

First of all, allow me to say this:  we are all dysfunctional.  Every single one of us.  We were born in sin, born wrong, and we will be growing and struggling out of that wrong-ness until  heaven...until we "know as we are known".  We all see through a glass darkly.

The difference between a normal level of dysfunction, and a toxic level of dysfunction, however, is the acknowledgement of dysfunction's existence.  Some people just won't own up to their stuff.

Those of us who know we can be whack jobs have the unfortunate experience of having to work through dealing with those who insist they are far too __________ (fill in the blank with "educated" or "spiritual" or "affluent" or "happy") to be a whack job. Or, we have the unfortunate experience of dealing with those who insist it is our fault they are a whack job - or, richer still, the difficult person insists they are the normal one, and you are the whack job.  And they can be very convincing.

It is confusing, because dysfunctional, difficult people can be so likable and seemingly functional with everyone else but the people they torment.  (Which, by the way, is the textbook definition of dysfunctional...when a person does not function normally in many of their significant relationships, or does not function normally for very long - for example, they make it one to five years in a new friendship, but cannot be consistent beyond that set point.)

One symptom of a dysfunctional person is when you notice that, over time, everyone in their life has an issue with the truth.  Their father is a liar.  Their brother is a liar.  Their daughter is a liar.  Their boss twists the truth.  Their girlfriend is a manipulator.  Old friends lie about them.  Everyone manipulates.  Everyone lies.

Everyone looks like a nail, when you are the hammer.

Be assured that the person with the lying issue is the one pointing the finger.  And don't even bother confronting them unless you are very, very vested in the relationship, and are willing to be mistreated, because another symptom of a dysfunctional person is they don't change their mind.  Talking does nothing for them, long term.  Talking only brings about short term relief...after a matter of hours or days, the dysfunctional person just resets to the old thought patterns.

There's more symptoms - very eye opening.  I'll share them in another blog post.  But for now, if you are dealing with a difficult, manipulative, controlling person, you aren't crazy.  And there is help, just not necessarily what you think help looks like.

Hang in there.  Relationships, healthy ones, are so worth it!

Ladies Only

Friends, life is too short to wear painful underwear.  Or ugly underwear.  Life is just too preciously short. 

Invest in yourself this week.  My latest two Ultimate Truths are to "never wear a wire again", and to "have a set of undies for exercise, and a set that is prettier, but still incredibly comfortable, for every day".  Who says I can't change from utilitarian to cute, every single day, after exercise?  Or five times a day, if I have to?

 Honestly, I have noooooooooooo idea why that has not occurred to me before.  I can think outside the box everywhere else but my dresser drawer, apparently.  That drawer was totally divided between ugly-but-comfortable-for-exercise, and pretty but never-wear-it-because-it-is-just-too-painful.

Guess what I ended up in, every day.  Utterly depressing.  Does nothing for a girl's self esteem.  On top of that, wires were never meant to be close to a woman's body.  Period. 

Enter the boy short.  Trimmed in lace, this becomes the perfect marriage of cute and comfy.  No more sinister underwear...you know...the kind that creep up on you from behind and inflict distress.  Pair these with the "no more wire" policy, and you'll have yourself  a personal renewal that is darn near spiritual.

Seriously do go through your drawers and get rid of everything that is uncomfortable, or does not feel pretty to you.  You are that important.

An Overdue Thank You - and blog recommendation

I owe my friend Lydia Joy Shatney a looooooong overdue thank you!  She sent me the best little booklet, a handy shopping guide by the Weston Price Foundation.  It is a guide to finding the healthiest foods in grocery stores, health food markets, and online.  Love it!

Thanks, Lyds.

Again, (I've mentioned her before) I also want to commend to you her blog, "Divine Health From the Inside Out".

If you are on a gluten free diet, if you are interested in whole food eating, healthy eating, the truth about fat in your diet, taking control and responsibility for your family's diet, you will love this blog, I think.  It is worth checking out, for the salad dressing recipes alone - I am also going to make her Asian lettuce wraps.

I've shared my story here before.  My health journey has taken me to extremes of low fat cooking, whole foods cooking, low carb, etc. etc.  I made myself (and sometimes my family) anxious over food.  When I stopped all food "rules", my health and well being flourished.

Lesson learned.  My health comes from the Lord.

Now, here is where I am in this journey:  after about ten years of no food rules whatsoever - maintaining a healthy weight without examining my food, just using portion control - I am once again open to the idea of "let food be your medicine and your medicine be your food".

A woman's body changes in her forties - no question about that.  I am discovering that a healthy diet makes me feel much better, physically.  No longer is it about food rules, no longer is it based on anxiety over my weight or my health.  I'm just interested in consistent energy levels, and I am interested in beating or containing my health issues such as hypothyroid, and sore joints, and foggy thinking.

This time, in this season of my life, coming out of rules and into freedom - examining what I eat, and how I eat it, is fun!  It is pure pleasure to take good, nourishing care of myself, so that I can nurture the other women and children in my life, and be a passionate wife.  (Passion is so much more than the bedroom - though it is all that!  Passion has even more to do with that "vital optimism", a sense of humor, and the ability to take joy.)

I have, for years and years, been fascinated by the fact that we are triune beings, spirit, mind, and body.  All three have to be fed or "renewed", regularly.  I do have to say, it is as important, if not far far more important, to address healthy thinking as it is to address healthy eating.  I also have to say - it is all about grace.  Grace touches every area of a woman's life.  It feeds her spirit, it renews her mind, and removes all fear that wreaks havoc with her body.

I think the Lord is just so abundant and fresh and I think He is health personified.  I love to just breathe Him in.  I love all He has made - flowers and puppies and healthy, healthy food.  When we eat His stuff, as close to the way He made it as we can, I think we do well.

I'll be turning often to Lydia's blog for inspiration.

"Vital Optimism"

This is just a thought...one point, taken from the teaching I did at the Master Builder's International Conference last week. 

Been contemplating the reality of  jaded Christians...oh, for about the past year or so.  Many, many start well, but don't continue well.  They don't leave the faith necessarily, they don't even visibly "backslide".  They simply become critical, unloving, and (deep down) unbelieving.

Maybe they get tired.  Most have been hurt and disappointed by life and by the church.

Well, join the flippin' club.  You heard me right.  Sorry if you were expecting sympathy, but you aren't getting it.  You don't need sympathy, you need someone to shake you out of your self awareness.

Anyone who has been in ministry - lay or otherwise - for longer than 5 years has seen some sordid stuff.  They have bumped into the weaknesses of others, even (gasp!) their spiritual leaders. They have had prayers seemingly unanswered.  They have been disappointed.

If you have served God for 20 years or more, I mean really served God, which means serving others faithfully either on the mission field, or in a local church, you have lived 3 lifetimes compared to the pew-warmer or the non-church-goer.  You've come up against the worst in human nature, often by just looking in the mirror.

I don't care what you've encountered or who has hurt you or what your family history is, you have not been through more than the apostle Paul, and he managed to remain fresh and free and unjaded for his entire life.  How?  I think partly because he made it his conscious goal.  Read I Timothy 1:5 with me:

Now the purpose of the commandment is love from a pure heart, from a good conscience, and from sincere faith,  from which some, having strayed, have turned aside to vain discussions,  desiring to be teachers of the law, understanding neither what they say nor the things which they affirm.

What is the goal?

1.  Love from a sincere heart
2.  a good conscience
3.  an unfaked faith

I want to focus on number 2.  The Greek application of a "good" conscience in this exact, particular verse actually means a "happy, pleasant, joyful, agreeable" conscious awareness.

A pleasant outlook.  I think it would be well called a "vital optimism".

Lord knows, the love from a sincere heart and an unfaked faith would preach for fifty years, but for now, I want that vital optimism.  The only way to have it is to believe the gospel.  Any other functional belief system, especially one built on law and self effort, will wear thin after a few years, and you will become jaded and cynical.

(I call it "functional belief system" because there is what we SAY we believe, and then there is how we actually function in our day to day life...)

Two things the gospel addresses - two functional (and false) beliefs:

1.  I must do well.
2.  Others must do well.

Grace reveals both of these false foundations to be the shifting sands they truly are.  As soon as the winds and storms come and beat upon these false beliefs, you will experience chaos in your soul.

No, you must not do well.  You must believe in the substitutional sacrifice of Jesus Christ.  He did well on your behalf.

No, others must not do well.  You must love others.  Faithfully.  With some degree of continuity.  The only "onus" is on you.  The only one you are ultimately responsible for is you.  What is your responsibility?  Love God, love others. 

Oddly...amazingly..."slap-your-forehead" epiphany - when you love God and love others, you will do well.

To subscribe to those two false yet alluring beliefs (I must do well - others must do well) is to live in a self imposed, artificial holiness, "not understanding what you say, nor the things you affirm".  You will ultimately lose your vital optimism.  You will become a jaded woman, unable to change your mind.  Oh, you will still be able to gather followers, and you just might fake it till the day you go be with Jesus.

More power to you.

But, if you don't mind, I am going to follow Paul's example, not yours.  My top three goals are to love sincerely, to keep that fresh, happy conscious awareness, and to walk every day in unfaked faith in a supernatural God.

Who is with me?

Blackberry-Orange Iced Cream

...not "ice cream"...it's iced cream.  So, so good.  This is an easy recipe, very hospitality-friendly.  By that, I mean that you put just enough love into it...more effort and time than running out to the store for an angel food cake and berries - less hands-on time than it takes to make, say, a from-scratch, home made pie. Guests like it when there is just enough love put into something to make them know they are special, but not so much as to make them feel like you are trying too hard to impress them.

take 2 cups of fresh blackberries, 1/4 cup of orange juice and 1/4 cup orange marmalade, along with 2 TB sugar.  Combine in a heavy saucepan...

...and bring it to a boil.  Boil it for 3 minutes, stirring constantly.  Then let it cool completely.  In a large bowl (I use my Kitchenaid mixer), beat 2 cups of heavy whipping cream into soft peaks.  Add 1/4 cup of confectioner's sugar.  Fold in the berry mixture, and chill until time to serve.  I freeze this in a container, and then bring it out to soften a little before serving. 

   

Very, very fresh, creamy taste.  Not overly sweet whatsoever.  Yum!

In Which Sheila Chats About Medical Science and the Gospel

The jury is in.  We have proof that "as a woman thinks in her heart, so is she".  Medical science has verified what the Bible has always told us about the heart being the seat of choice, imagination, and emotion.

And every emotion releases its own chemical into the bloodstream, for health or for harm.  There is not a thought you can think that does not carry with it an effect on your body.

It is no mystery where migraines and fibromyalgia and back pain comes from.  First the cause, then the effect.  We are literally making ourselves sick, bathing ourselves at a cellular level in negativity, criticism, and depression.  The chemicals released correspond to the emotion.  The emotion corresponds to the thought.

I take it a step further and deeper.  I say:  your every thought is conceived from a basis of what you believe about God.

Bottom line.

After spending hours reading over the groundbreaking work of neuroscientist Candace Pert, and digesting the research of Dr. Caroline Leaf, I am jumping up and down in a frenzy of cross-application.

The poet Robert Frost said that intelligence is a feat of association.  God has wired my brain to make connections across seemingly incongruous ideas.  I can get revelation into the ekklesia when I read about sea turtles.  This ability to connect is both a blessing and a curse.  It sometimes makes me darn near inscrutable when I try to explain where I am coming from.

Friends, you are so what you think about.  You aren't merely becoming what you choose to focus on, you already are.  You already are who you are going to be.  The only answer for every woman is to repent - changing our mind should be a way of life.

The only hope for change in the life, is a change in the mind.

I'll say it again:  Lady - change your mind!

You better be stuffing the good news of the gospel into your brain, beginning day before yesterday!  You better be about the full time business of renewing your mind, else you become a jaded, cynical woman who cannot change her mind to (literally) save her life.

No wonder the devil gets upset when grace is fully and purely preached.  What we believe about God is either the truth that sets us free, or clever lies, posing as truth...lies that imprison us.

Scientists have isolated and named the one thing all negativity springs from:  fear.  God has always known this.  He said, "She who fears has not been made mature in love." 

Oh, how He loves us!  How He loves us, oh!  He surrounds us, and He is love and grace and mercy.  He requires nothing from us that He has not first provided for us in Jesus Christ.

If you struggle with the  doctrines of grace, you struggle at the core.  My heart breaks for you.  When, when will you tire of the veil that shrouds your spiritual understanding?  When, when will you properly diagnose your relational dysfunction, your physical disease, your utter weariness of soul?  When, when will you be honest?

See, your brain is "always watching you".  Your brain knows what you actually think and believe.  Sounds a lot like the Bible when it says, "No man knows the thoughts of a man, save the spirit of man that is in him..."

Whenever your life is at cross purposes with what you truly think, whenever you invent your own version of events, every time you pretend, the heart knows.  Go on and spend the rest of your life justifying it or covering it up - it will come out in another form, usually pain in your body.  The only remedy is to wash your mind clean with the Word - making what you think line up with the only sure plumb line in the universe:  God's thoughts.

They are not your thoughts.  You have to get outside yourself to think a God-thought.  Your first reaction is usually not a God-thought.  Your opinion is usually not a God-thought.  Your finest effort on your finest day is not His way.  The heart knows, each and every time you fall short of the glory of God.

Medical science proves that we must be washed, day in and day out, Sunday in and Sunday out, with good news.  Dendrites don't form strong and true any other way.  A topical sermon here and there, brushing up against the gospel but rarely grasping it and examining it at life-long-lengths is not enough to form even the physical connections across synapses, much less a transformed soul.

It's why you are okay one day, and not okay the next.  It is why you hurt.  You haven't lingered over what is true, lovely, and of good news to you.

The jury is in.  You must understand how very much you are loved.  It will be health to your bones.

Hospitality

"...you will do well to send them on their way well cared for, as is right for servants of God:For they went out for love of the Name...So it is right for us to take in such men as guests, so that we may take our part in the work of the true faith."
(III John 1:6,7,8)

We've had overnight guests for the last several days.  Joe and Yvonne Ewen from Scotland, along with Ted Lyke from south Florida, and others who have drifted in and out for meals and fellowship.  My daughter Sarah and her husband have hosted several guests overnight at their home all this week.

One translation of the above Scripture says of hospitality to a guest is to "bring them forward after a Godly sort..."

Just bring them forward.  For a few brief hours or days, spirit touches spirit, life touches life, and all are blessed, our guest is "brought forward after a Godly sort", and sent on their way feeling loved and cared for.

Hospitality is taking part in the work of true faith.  Tim and I, as hosts, become part of every sinner brought closer to Christ, every saint who is encouraged and edified, we are considered by God to be a significant part of each and every bit of it.

There were ten around my dinner table tonight.  That's not unusual.  It is lots of work, but the rewards are absolutely out of proportion to the labor.  Huge reward.

Late last night, maybe even the wee hours of the morning, I was aware of the presence of God as I was falling asleep.  It hit me, as I lay there, that every bedroom in our home was full, two in each one, plus a dear friend who was sleeping on the couch.  All these precious people, slumbering peacefully and safely under our roof, under our watch.  Everything was still and quiet, but for the sound of the cicadas and the faint relaxing sound of the waterfall that pours into our pond outside.  I was so, so tired from all the activity of the day, but it was "the good kind of tired", and falling asleep with the house full-to-bursting was the best part.

Tonight will be much the same.  I'm not sure if the couch will be occupied or not, but if it is, the more the merrier.  Same thing on Saturday night. By the time Monday rolls around, I might be ready to rest "for a wee bit" (as my Scottish guests would say!)

Oh, how I love church life. 

Dear friend, Mike Giordano from southern California, sharing the Word with us (off his i-pod...Mike is ever the cutting edge kind of guy!)

Mike and young Matt-the-artist (standing), fellowshipping with Joe and Yvonne (sitting)

Praying together...church didn't dismiss last night until 11:30 pm!!!

big fish, caught this afternoon, fried and grilled and eaten just now!

Happy men - Ted (giving the "thumbs up, Imahappyguy" sign), my Tim, Ron, and Joe

these are just the ones they brought back to filet and eat for dinner.  All in all, they caught 21 fish today!

So.  Who wants to come stay with us next?

::smile::

One Year Celebration!

One year ago this week, I felt a migraine headache coming on.  Overwhelming things were happening in my personal life, on top of a Master Builder's National Conference we were expected to attend, and so it was with no surprise that I had the familiar symptoms.  I braced myself, and mentioned it to my husband.

There were no angels singing, no scrolls dropping from heaven, and unfurling themselves revealing the words, "BE HEALED".  There wasn't a single goose bump.

My husband simply laid his hand on me, right there in our master bathroom, and prayed a very simple prayer.  It took twenty seconds.

All I felt, was a lingering warmth on the back of my head.  Honestly, I chalked it up to the fact that his hand was on top of my head.  Maybe I was "feeling" the warmth of his hand, just in a different place?

But I did take note of that sense of warmth.  And I waited.  The migraine never came.

Not only that, but friends, from that day to this, one year later, I have not had one single migraine headache.  I had been getting them every month or so for over a year by then.

Not.  One.  Headache.  From the first week of August, 2009, to this day.

It was such a testimony to me, one year ago this week.  I will never, ever stop proclaiming that my God is a God of all Grace, and that He is a supernatural God, who is still in the healing business.  My prayer and cry of my heart is that I never become critical and jaded and unbelieving.

Do I believe this means I will never, ever have another migraine?  Here is what I do believe:  I have gone for one full year, with barely even a tension headache, while enduring some of the keenest testing in my whole life.  I have walked in a peace that passes understanding, from one year ago to this moment as I type.  That's it.  That's what I know. 

I know that healing touch was also a sign, for that season, to Tim and I regarding some very personal things we were going through at the time - God loved us and approved of our labors in the gospel.  He was, and is, on our side always.

Anniversaries of the spirit...they can be powerful things.  Here I am, at this year's Master Builder's National Conference, preparing to speak tomorrow, enjoying the fellowship of faithful relationship, savoring my friends and family, entering the best season of my life so far...

...encompassed by songs of deliverance.  I will never trade a lift hid with Christ in God for a life of playing church in my own strength.

My own strength and performance can't heal migraines.  But Christ can.

...and I Quote

“Such is beauty ever ~ neither here nor there, now nor then, neither in Rome nor in Athens, but wherever there is a soul to admire. If I seek her elsewhere because I do not find her at home, my search will prove a fruitless one."

~Henry David Thoreau

Beauty at home.  Your home-home, your home church, your home town.  If you can't see it there (and it is there....oh, it is there!), then you simply do not have eyes to see.

Pray for the eyes to see.

"They Are What They Contain..."

Here is one thing I know for sure:  you can have an amazing house, and it not be a home.  A home is far more than an architectural style, far more than its materials, or even its location.  A home is the very essence of the people who live there...if the husband and wife truly love each other, there is a winsomeness and a peace in that home.

(from the blog "Pink and Polka Dot" - a fantastic resource for all things slipcover and DIY...)

Another Day is Done

Watching the flooding in Pakistan on television this morning, I was struck by the fragile flower that life is.  (I know...this is a heavy way to begin a post - and on my twin daughters' birthday at that!  Stick with me, I hope you'll be encouraged.)

Our life is a vapor, Proverbs says, and then it vanishes away.  I saw a man in Pakistan, about my age or older, clinging to a large chunk of something, hanging on for dear life, in all those raging flood waters.  I will never know if he made it out alive. 

But I have him to thank, whoever he is.  For some reason, it hit me with vivid reality that life is lived one long day at a time.   Thousands of days that man had lived, and it all came down to what may have been his few final minutes.  I watched that man, for a moment, and was overwhelmed with the fact that he was born, had a childhood, probably loves someone, or several someones.  A lifetime of memories were right there, clinging and fighting just so that one more day could be lived.  That man, if he lived, will never again have an ordinary day.

I hope I don't, either.

Someone said "the days are long, but the years are short" and they were exactly right.  My life has been lived, thus far, one minute...one hour...one day at a time.  I was born, I had a childhood, I've learned a few things and loved a whole lot of people.  Countless moments, one after another, add up to what is my whole life today.  Much effort, many prayers, tears, laughter, pain, and joy have gone into my one life already.

And it could easily be all over in a matter of minutes. 

The human body cannot go ten minutes without oxygen.  In ten short minutes, my whole life, all its hours and its days and its years, could be finished.  Final. Any thoughts yet unspoken or unwritten would die with me, unexpressed.  Memories that are mine alone will slip into eternity with me, they will not be left behind in a box or gathered up with my things.  Why do we not spend more time reminiscing?  The Lord has been so good, and I am commanded to remember!  So that my children, and their children, will remember.  So that my friends will not forget.

Anything, to be remembered collectively, must be talked about, and more than once.  Time has to be taken, around dinner tables and over telephones, and in cars and in front of the fireplace.  Moments must be stolen back, and memorials made to the faithfulness of God.  "Remember when...??"

And how about these words:  "I love you."

And, "I am sorry.  Let's begin fresh, slates wiped clean.  You - a spouse, a parent, child, or a friend and child of God - you with an eternal spirit, you are far too important to be abandoned this way, and I want to come back and rebuild that which is eternal:  our relationship.  Quick!  Hurry, let us go back to loving each other before the sun goes down, and this one precious day is over!"

Fragile woman, I am.  Because my life is as a vapor, no day is ordinary.  Every day is a gift.  Life is far, far too short to not place urgent and immediate value on my relationships.  Theoretically, in less than ten minutes, all that has been left unsaid, will never be said, this side of heaven.  Every wrong not made right, will be left just as it stands in the heart and memory of someone I say I care about.

This day was not ordinary.  It was not common.  It was filled with the atmosphere of eternity, and loaded with value.  I pray I have invested it well.

Because I will, one day, stop breathing.  Less than ten minutes from that moment, I leave it all behind.  Ten short minutes.

This day, in pictures ~


I began it by filling the house with sunflowers - always sunflowers for my girls' birthday.


Stopped by this shop

For a dozen of these.  Oh...my...heavens.  So good.

Justin and Hannah brought this home from an antique shop today.  Timothy Paul will be joining us for dinner here, by this time next year.

Dad and a few of his kids, playing "that game".

And playing...and playing...(it is nearly eleven, as I type, and they are playing it again!)

Happy Birthday, my Sarah Howe!  Your first birthday as a married woman, and you are more beautiful than ever.  As the sunflowers will always say, "I am so proud of you!"

Happy Birthday, Hannah!  Timothy Paul is one blessed baby boy to have a mother who will love him so intensely...ferociously...creatively...and forever.  Your first birthday as a mommy, and I am SO PROUD OF YOU!

No...it has been no ordinary day.  Tomorrow will also be absolutely stunning in its unique opportunities and responsibilities.  The sunrise will be God's encore of the miraculous.  The moment my eyes open, it will be time to be about the business of loving God and loving people.  Oh, God!  May I live tomorrow's minutes and hours with full awareness of their worth!

It's A....

Tim and I drove our daughter Hannah and her husband to their ultrasound appointment...

....a little bit of a hike to the doctor's office...

Hannah decided to tell her mother and father-in-law by baking cupcakes with either blue filling or pink filling inside the cupcake!  Guess what color icing was in this delicious dessert?

Yes!  Our very first grandbaby, who shall be named Timothy Paul McConnell, is doing very well! 

::squeal::

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!!

Dear Timothy Paul,

It seems to me I've loved you since the day your mother was born.  I am beside myself with  gratitude and joy!  You are being born into what is becoming a long line of Bible teachers and preachers.  Your great grandfather Gilreath , your grandfather Atchley, your daddy (a Bible teacher in the making)...and now you.  You truly have "a goodly heritage". 

Should the Lord tarry, I plan to live to be a ripe, old age.  I love you now, and I will love you even more then.  My prayer prints have been all over you, since before you were conceived.  Soon, I will hold you for the very first time.  You may have been a surprise to your parents, but I've been expecting you for almost as long as I can remember.  We are going to have a ton of fun together.  Hope you like to be read to.  (And fish, and shoot guns, but those are papaw Atchley and papaw McConnell things...)

I can't wait for you to meet all my friends.  They are all excited to know you are on the way.  I can't wait to see your momma and daddy bring you to your church, that very first Sunday.  I can't wait to see you take your first steps, hear you say your first words, hear you preach your first sermon.  And play your first song. 

I am blessed and highly favored.  Take good care of yourself, and we'll see you sometime during the Christmas season!  

I love you to the moon, little man!

Grandmommy

Guess Who Has Photo Shop?

My honey got me Photo
Shop! 

I've already had a brief, basic tutorial this evening after worship practice, from son-in-law Jonathan.  Hannah can also teach me a lot, from her days as merchandising manager at Goody's...she did all sorts of cool stuff with this program every day!

I'm sooooo excited.  This is one of the pictures I've worked on so far...all I did was make the background black and white, and re-color my daughter Sarah and I, on her wedding day.

This is a learning curve unlike any other.  Whew.

Tomorrow!

Tomorrow, we find out whether our first grandbaby is a girl or boy!  Hannah asked me to accompany her and Justin to her ultrasound appointment.  Can't wait, can't wait...

Of course, I'll be jumping on here to tell the world!

"The Trouble With Scotland..."

...is that it's full of Scots!" (line from the movie Braveheart)

Actually, we love Scotland and her Scots. This precious man and his equally precious wife will be staying with us here at the cottage all of next week. This time, the blessing is mine!

::cheers, confetti::

I'm preparing what is, in this case, a literal "prophet's quarters". Knee deep in meal planning, guest room fluffing, birthday preparations (my girls' birthday is Saturday) and preparing my own message for the Master Builder's International Conference next week, I am busy in a blessed-and-highly-favored sort of way.

All the way from Scotland, Joe and Yvonne Ewen will be at Harvest Church on Sunday, August 8th. If you are anywhere within the vicinity, you won't want to miss it!

Mid Life Constancy

con·stan·cy . n. 1. Steadfastness, as in purpose or affection; faithfulness. 2. The condition or quality of being constant; changelessness

More than once, my husband and I have shook our heads at someone who recently turned 45 or 50. The whole "mid life crisis" thing. Believe-you-me, it is real. There but for the grace of God, go I! So many people lose their flippin' minds when they hit about 50.

They think they are hearing God, and they aren't. They think they're entitled, and they're not. They think they need to change things up, and they don't. They need to dig in and practice constancy.

The surest predictor of a mid life crisis is the soul-withering boredom that can set in. After all, it isn't how you begin that counts. It isn't how you end. Those two points in the process are exciting. It is what you do with yourself in the character-defining middle that totally dictates your finish line. It is easy to begin a race.

Almost all races are quit in the middle.

More spouses and churches and friendships and families and careers are left in mid-life than eleventy-hundred people can shake their collective sticks at.

I promise you that, smack dab in your middle, there will be a "tree of the knowledge of good and evil". There will be the awareness that nothing is turning out quite like you imagined. You will feel the urge to prove yourself. You will feel the urge to quit. Or to do something silly like move for the sake of moving, leave for the sake of leaving, buy a sports car or motorcycle, build a McMansion you can't afford, start a band, or raise Nubian goats.

Change! Any change feels like it might do the trick - it might make you feel alive again. Let's spiritualize it, while we're at it, and say we "feel led of the Lord".

Friend. Friend, friend. Sit down here beside me and have some Tension Tamer Tea. We are so in this thing together. I feel it, too.

Your enemy (who, by the way, is not me. Ahem.) will always approach you one of two ways. Only one of two.

Your enemy will either attack you, to try to get you to retreat...or he will try to get you to make peace with him. It is the making peace part that worries me. It is very tempting to make peace when you are so exhausted from the war. It is very tempting to change course abruptly, at the next sign of crisis, and then justify your retreat.

You will find yourself making every excuse in the book for why so many of your relationships are a wreck, for why you do what you do, for why your passion is gone. Every excuse is a justification for making peace with the enemy. The children of Israel were faced with this very thing in their "middle"...that place between Egypt and the Promise. (Ex. 34:11-14)

Beware of that sense of mid-life entitlement. When you don't live daily outside your comfort zone, when you make personal peace and affluence your idol, you end up making a covenant of false peace and false provision with an enemy.

You started out serving the Lord with abandon. Let me tell you - the same grace that saved you, is the same grace you absolutely must function in every single day. Notice I said "function". When there is no apprehension and appropriation of grace, there is dysfunction.

You began well. Stay the course. Don't let the heart ache and disappointments and exhaustion of the middle make you dull and cynical and jaded. Tap into the newness of life that is yours in Christ Jesus!

Underlined Bits

"Despite God’s call to be free and His earnest admonition to resist all efforts to curtail it, there is very little emphasis in Christian circles today on the importance of Christian freedom. Just the opposite seems to be true. Instead of promoting freedom, we stress our rules of conformity. Instead of preaching living by grace, we preach living by performance. Instead of encouraging new believers to be conformed to Christ, we subtly insist that they be conformed to our particular style of Christian culture. Yet, that’s the bottom line effect of most of our emphases in Christian circles today.

For example, many people would react negatively to my quoting only part of Galatians 5:12, “You, my brothers, were called to be free.” Despite the fact that this statement is a complete sentence, they would say, “But that’s not all of the verse. Go on to quote the remainder: ‘But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.’”

The person who reacts this way has made my point. We are much more concerned about someone abusing his freedom than we are about his guarding it. We are more afraid of indulging the sinful nature than we are of falling into legalism. Yet legalism does indulge the sinful nature because it fosters self-righteousness and religious pride. It also diverts us from the real issues of the Christian life by focusing on external and sometimes trivial rules.”

– Jerry Bridges, Transforming Grace, pp. 121-122

Summer Flavors and Fragrances

A pile of these were shucked today...

Then grilled...

...and became this...

Fry up lots of this...

Add diced red potatoes, red onion, celery, milk and cream...grilled corn chowder! The fresher the corn, the better and sweeter this dish. YUM!

Serve with home made bread.

I'm typing away with my laptop, sitting propped up on pillows in my bed. These sheets and pillowcases were put back on my bed, fresh from the clothes line, just a couple of hours ago. I promise you, I can smell sunshine. The fragrance is unbelieveable.

Have a blessed weekend, friends! Enjoy summer's fleeting delights.

A Day of Simple Pleasures, Indeed

Today is our son-in-law's birthday...


Carrot cupcakes with cream cheese icing...


...on a great, big platter.


Found him the perfect card...


...and a nice, wooden artist's box.


When the laundry was tossed onto the guest bed, earlier today, I noticed how all the colors pleased me. All the textures were beautiful to my eye. Sounds silly, but I thought to myself, "We all purchase tea towels and wash cloths and towels and sheets and pillowcases. Why not buy these things in all the colors that make us happy?"

That way, there is beauty, even in an unfolded pile of linens. (Pillow added, since it was already on the guest bed, and looked adorable. Guess you can say I "styled" this picture!)

In Love With Antique Ticking

This has been the Summer of Many Projects. A time to create. The cottage is coming together - one finished project, however, begs for another to begin. My living room is next, I believe. The kitchen is nearly done, except for the knobs and drawer pulls. Dining room is finished. The adjacent wall and hallway finally got painted last week, with the most whisper-lovely shade of bluish-gray. Very French. Or Scandinavian. Or something.

Today, I found an antique ticking tablecloth. You must know...I need another tablecloth like I need a hole in my head, but this one called to me. This sort of thing is pricey in the antique shops. Easily a nice ticking antique-vintage tablecloth will set you back $50. That is on a good day. When I saw the price on this beauty, I think I got lightheaded. Extremely reasonable, but with just enough splurge-factor to make it special. That's all I'm sayin'.

It is made of a heavy weight blue and white ticking, complete with fabric slubs, and fading. It even smells old, much to my delight. (Though I am running it through the washing machine and dryer tonight to remedy this...)

It also has upholstery-weight cording at the hem. And it is round! I told you it was calling my name. I could not have dreamed or designed a more perfect thing for my home.



Heavy-weight cording, all around...




falls beautifully, almost to the floor...


Think I'll try layering it with another piece...


Oh....sigh! Love!

The whisper-blue of the hallway only shows up well on the camera against the red of my $6.99 second hand shop Kate Spade purse.

::Big Barney Fife sniff::

Hey...it is only indecent to talk about price when you over pay! I strut my deals. I parade my treasures, because each one has a story of conquest and a pennies-on-the-dollar price.


Blessings to each of you, friends...