My Brand New Podcast {Being Willing to Do Some Things Badly...for a little while...}

I am excited to be offering this to you...trust me, it represents hours and hours of hard work - I am notttt tech savvy.  It isn't perfect, it isn't even wonderful {yet}, but as you will hear me say, you have to be willing to do some things badly, at least for a little while.

Enjoy...

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Do Your Daily "Math" Assignment {A Coaching Moment}

I think you remember those grade school math sheets...they looked like this:



______  + ______ = _______

{with one or two of the values filled in, of course, depending on the skill being taught.}

I want to coach you for a minute, if you are okay with that.  I want to give you an assignment - one that is guaranteed to bring out the very best that is already inside you, by grace through faith, if you are a follower of Christ.

And of course, there is a playsheet being developed for my original coaching technique, as we speak.

First, I want you to think of every positive emotion you would like to feel.  I want you to think of the desired outcome...the "sum" of the equation.

To put this another way:  If presented with a closet of choices, do we want to put on the joy dress, or the peaceful dress, or the calm and loving dress, or the successful dress today?  

Often, this is a brand new idea - this notion that we can choose how we want to feel.  We are not at the mercy of our circumstances, and we cannot blame someone else for how we feel. No, not even our husband.

{YOU GET TO CHOOSE HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL}

The minute you make your feelings someone else's fault, you are playing the victim card.

Nothing good can come of it.  Please hear me:  Nothing.  Good.

So yeah, think of several really juicy, wonderful, positive feelings.

This exercise is based on the premise (the solidly Biblical premise) that our thoughts create feelings, AND our actions create feelings.

Many, many, many coaches will teach you that thoughts create feelings.  But most put the continuum like this:

Circumstances trigger Thoughts trigger Feelings trigger Actions trigger Results.

It's true.  But it isn't the whole truth.

The whole truth is, Biblically we can also act how we want to feel.  (This truth sometimes goes by the dirty word called obedience) .

This week - right now, even - I want you to meditate about how you really want to feel in your life.  Think of God honoring feelings, fullness-of-joy, abundant living feelings...that is what I want you to list.  Go on and list as many as you can.

Then, pick the top 3 ways you want to feel...the ways you wish with all your heart that you could feel, "if only"....

Insert one of those feelings to the right of the "=" sign, in your math equation.

Secondly, what meditation...what "true truth" about God or about yourself or about your husband or about your circumstances...would create that feeling?  What would happen if you simply chose that thought, and decided to believe it and receive it by faith?  Put that meditation in either blank, to the left of the "=" sign, in your math equation.

Lastly, what action would "seal" or validate or back up or act out that thought?  It could be as simple as singing a song, or complimenting a loved one, or being a little more generous with your money than you are accustomed to being.  If you really believed that righteous thought, what would you be doing?  Boil it down to one word (maybe two) and insert into the last blank, to the left of your "=" sign, in your math equation.

Then do that action.

Keep doing that action.  Keep meditating on that true truth.

It might look like this:  God loves me  +  release all fear of scarcity  =  Feeling Safe and Sure

Or, your equation might look like this:  "I want to feel peace about my prodigal sons." (That one may or may not be autobiographical.)  I recommend that you choose a thought that lines up with the word of God -   "God loves them more than I do"...or "He is married to the backslider".  The act I  you might choose to "seal" that meditation is to simply pray a very brief prayer, every single time fear tries to grip me you.

Therefore, my  your equation could look like this:

The Lord is married to them + the prayer "How You love them!" = Peace

Every time fear presents itself, return to your meditation, and then quickly pray.

I also recommend that you spend time with the peaceful thought.  Linger.  Absorb it.  Inject it.  Speak it to your soul.

Lather, rinse, repeat.  It's kind of a plug and play game!  Have fun with it...discover God and yourself with it.  Discover how utterly unchangeable God is, and how completely confused you often are, and discover how empowering it is to take steps to choose a thought and act in a way that would give you a desired feeling.

This + This = This

As surely as day follows night, if you do your daily math assignment, your heart will begin to beat with a positive emotion.  It will be full of a noble theme, and your tongue will become the pen of a ready writer (to quote the Psalmist).

{email me if you want this coaching playsheet delivered to your inbox}

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"I Love Us." {A Day Spent Learning How to Rest in God...my Preacher and me...}

"Then the children of Joseph spoke to Joshua, saying, “Why have you given us only one lot and one share to inherit, since we are a great people, inasmuch as the Lord has blessed us until now?”

 So Joshua answered them, “If you are a great people, then go up to the forest country and clear a place for yourself there in the land of the Perizzites and the giants, since the mountains of Ephraim are too confined for you.”

But the children of Joseph said, “The mountain country is not enough for us; and all the Canaanites who dwell in the land of the valley have chariots of iron, both those who are of Beth Shean and its towns and those who are of the Valley of Jezreel.”

 And Joshua spoke to the house of Joseph—to Ephraim and Manasseh—saying, “You are a great people and have great power; you shall not have only one lot, but the mountain country shall be yours. Although it is wooded, you shall cut it down, and its farthest extent shall be yours; for you shall drive out the Canaanites, though they have iron chariots and are strong.”  (Joshua 17:14-18)

When I spoke this past February at a women's conference in North Carolina, this was one of the texts I used.  In it, we find the story of a tribe whose time to GROW had come.  

So they approached their leader Joshua (who is a type of Christ, in Scripture) and basically asked for more territory.  

You have to remember...or you must realize...that God is the original "territorial Spirit".  HE puts the solitary in families, HE ordained tribes and households and boundaries.  Today, HE ordains families, local churches, and we are still called to both expand the territory we are given, and guard its boundaries.  

Joshua's answer?  Grow up.  

Literally...grow upwards.  "Go up to the forest country.  Sure, there are boulders and trees and giants with serious weapons, but if you want to expand - get to work."

And so it is for you, beautiful one, if you will allow me a brief coaching moment with you.  I need to ask you to ask yourself what it is you are afraid of.  Identify your giants.  Be as concise as you can.  Let's start with three.  What three things, in terms of your growing up, are you most afraid of?



There comes a point when you are increasing in your gift, that you will be called both to "GROW UP" and to "go up higher".  You will have to engage your next enemy.  New territory will not be gained as easily as before (when it was simply given) but you can do this thing.

Can I tell you?  Jehovah is on your side...and at the same time, no other human being - no spouse, counselor, life coach or friend - can do it for you.  No one else can expand and grow your marriage...or your business...or your family.  

"You are, in fact, a gifted woman. So go up..."

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Launch First - Tweak As You Go {...all the most effective people do...}

Well, I heard my son-in-law preach an amazing message on launching out in faith - not duty, not going through the motions - to invest the gifts and finances God has given us, because His heart is to bless and multiply us.


It is with that attitude of heart that I share with you "Episode 1 of Something" ...my very very first "Podcast".


Launch first, tweak as you go.  If I have learned anything in being an artist and a person whose creativity IS her business, I have learned to just do it.  If you wait until it is perfect, you will never do much at all.


So it is in this spirit and this attitude - an attitude of faith and the desire to let God multiply everything I can give to Him - that I finally begin another thing   project   creative endeavor...one that has been on my heart for quite some time.


Thing is...what is there to lose?  Someone, somewhere may think it foolish, but affirming the word I heard today also affirms the young speaker, and affirms me - because if I am not going to do something with what I heard now...today...when will be the next, best time?

Your {Simple Yet Powerful} Playsheet is Ready...

As promised, I prepared you a "Tolerations Playsheet".

 And she is deceptively simple.

Because science confirms that the head and heart and hand are intricately connected, and it is hugely important to journal...to write things down.  One powerful thought:  you cannot write something down, while thinking about something else.

To journal, write, or otherwise document with your own hand what your thoughts are, requires that you begin to process your life on a deep level.  Try it.  Trust me.

To get your own PDF file that you can print, pour yourself a cup of coffee, and sit down in a quiet place with, simply email me with the word "Playsheet" in the subject line, and include your email address.  I will send your very own coaching playsheet, at no charge.  Yours will look slightly very different than the one you see below...below is the beta version, but it will give you an idea.

Now, onto the coaching...

Here are your instructions:

~ Identify your top three tolerations.  Make sure that if you are living with a huge toleration      (explanation here) that you are completely honest with yourself, and list that at the very top.  Then, simply identify two more...the two that bother you the most.  You are writing these "top three" down in order to bring them into your conscious awareness...you are  "putting them on your radar screen" so to speak.  They may actually be SO huge that you will not be able to address them quickly or easily.  That is okay.  You will be surprised how much your mind and heart will begin to search for wisdom and solutions, all on their own, simply by observing fact and calling it what it is:  a toleration.

~Next, list three tolerations that will cost you nothing to address.  This is for the "quick win"...and trust me, you need and want a quick win, because the first and last lists are going to kick your butt.  You will eliminate these tolerations within the week.

~Last, identify three tolerations that by nature mean that you will have to initiate a conversation with someone you live with...not one of your friends.  These last three "requiring a conversation" tolerances may be much the same as your first three (the three that must stop "NOW").  Or, your tolerances that require a conversation may be completely different from your three biggest ones listed at the top of your playsheet.

It's your life, it is your time to think and be compassionately honest with yourself.  (I don't believe in being brutally honest with yourself - but that is another coaching moment for another day...)


Fact is, many of our tolerations DO involve family members.  Friends?  Not so much.  Most of us don't live with friends - unless you are single and sharing a space with room mates.  If so, think of them as family.   Something about them may qualify as an unnecessary tolerance that "requires a conversation".  Otherwise, with friends, I recommend patience, unless the behavior of a friend is crossing important boundaries.

But those we live with, family or otherwise, can present us with challenges that we sometimes learn to tolerate.  Notice I did not say "challenges that we choose to be patient with"...that is different.  No, I am talking about things we are tolerating that we should not be tolerating - both for our own sake, and the other person's sake.  It blesses no one when one person is tolerating another person.

Think with me:  is there someone in your everyday life, whose behavior has caused you to come up with elaborate coping mechanisms?  You may really have to print your sheet out and take time to ponder, because this is a "live" one - as they say in the coaching industry.

Why?  Because often our coping strategies become so engrained, we don't even notice them anymore.  For example:  an adult, unemployed child comes home, obviously in a bad mood, and you automatically begin either trying to deflect his mood, or isolate yourself elsewhere in your own house, or eat a whole pan of brownies.  (That may or may not be autobiographical in nature...)

Girlfriend, it is time for a conversation.

We all have a few tolerances that require a calm, well-thought-out conversation with a family member who we love dearly.  I promise you are not the only one.  You must:  1.  think through what you need to say, and 2.  schedule these conversations, also within one week.

The only rule for that last list:  that you request no more than fifteen minutes of anyone's time, to discuss the issue.  Word of counsel:  the more emotional the subject, the more public your discussion needs to be.  For example, if you are addressing an emotionally touchy topic, you carefully plan what needs to be said, you request 15 minutes of the loved one's time at a coffee shop, and you lovingly, peacefully speak your peace, and then get feedback.  This keeps both of you on task, as neutral as possible, on target, and taking no unnecessary emotional side roads.

You are guaranteed to at least be well on your way to a breakthrough in 15 minutes flat, if not experiencing full-on breakthrough in 15 minutes.  It can be done, and in fact is done all the time.

Again, if you'd like a playsheet that you can sit down with, think, sip coffee, and have a "come to Jesus meeting" with yourself, just email me with the word "Playsheet" in the subject line, and include your email address, so I can send you the PDF I developed.

What Are You Tolerating {...that you shouldn't be...}

Tell me what it is you are tolerating, right now this minute.

Did you know that almost everyone has at least a hundred (yes...100...one-zero-zero...) "tolerations" active in their life at any given time?  It is no wonder we feel anxious, stressed, and experience aches and pains in our physical bodies.  

"Tolerations" are what life coaches call all those things you put up with...walls that need painting, closets that need purging, clutter on the tables, flower beds that need weeding, and cars that need maintenance.  (That list may or may not be autobiographical in nature...)

I am not talking about areas of your life where you need to develop patience, as in a husband who isn't romantic enough, or a child with an annoying habit.  Develop patience.  Train your child.

No, I am talking about the distractions...the draining annoyances...the pebbles in your shoes that are telling you that you should just stop...remove your shoes...and get rid of the pebbles.  

Your level of satisfaction in life...even your ability to attend to the things of God without distraction, is directly related to the number of things you are tolerating.

Sure, you could go swimming in your jeans in an emergency...but every time you swim?   That'd just be annoying.

That is what life lived with tolerations is like:  swimming in your jeans.  How does it feel?  Are you relaxed?  Do you feel free?

Some tolerations are huge.  So huge, we have no business tolerating them on any level.  Some examples would be:  having no church home, carrying a mortgage that you cannot afford, an unemployed adult child living at home paying no rent, disrespect from said adult child (or any child), emotional or physical abuse from a spouse.

The huge tolerations are no-brainers...any woman in her right mind knows she needs to put a stop to those things, somehow.   But the big tolerations are often very, very hard to reduce and eliminate.

However.   You must eliminate them.

Other, more minor tolerations will still hinder those we love from receiving our best, and they keep us from accomplishing our goals with the ease that ought to be characteristic of a Christ-follower.  Ask yourself how much of a "peaceful, non-anxious presence" do you have?  If no one has ever told you that they feel peaceful when they are around you...you do not have a strong, obvious, non-anxious presence about you.  Time to take step one in cultivating an atmosphere-shifting, serene, non-anxious presence (it is your gift to others), by eliminating your own tolerations.

I am currently developing a fun-sheet (as opposed to "worksheet") to help you identify the tolerations in your life, and even come up with a short-term game plan to address them.

Go ahead.  Don't wait for the playsheet, and don't wait for me to coach you (though I would be glad to, if you want to make an appointment.  You can reserve a spot by clicking here). 

Do this:  Eliminate two smallish-yet-draining tolerations in your life by Monday.  Sew that button back on.  Clean your car.

You won't believe how much lighter you  feel.  I promise.  

Journaling Questions:

What is my "huge" toleration?  What is one thing I have no business tolerating, but have been tolerating?

Why am I tolerating it?

What am I afraid of?

Pray over the things you discover...

Post edit:

The FREE "Tolerances Playsheet" is now available!  All you need to do is drop me a line and request the worksheet (I call it a "playsheet"), leaving me your email address.  I will promptly send you the PDF!  As simple as this playsheet is, I think you will find it insightful...I added one exercise at the bottom that will really make you think.

{Warning:  the following post is a bit more melancholy than what you are used to hearing out of me.  I almost shared these thoughts with you, a little over a year ago.  But I deleted the whole post, fearing it was just too sad.  Tonight, I bravely hit "publish", remembering my commitment to "Write Hard and Clear About What Hurts"...}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am reminded of an old '70's song tonight - a song that has spoken to me profoundly for about three or four years now. It isn't a "Christian" song. It is a life experience song. A raw and honest and vulnerable song.



Forgive the drama, but every time I hear it, I cry. Sometimes, depending on what has happened in my recent history, I ugly-cry.



Tonight, I ugly-cried. There may or may not have been hiccuping.



But even on a great day, there are always at least tears in my eyes whenever I hear this song. Every. Dang. Time. I am not sure of the story behind the lyrics, but like all really good art (and UNlike Scripture), it lends itself to my own personal interpretation.



I've lived the Landslide. There was a time, many years ago, when I might have seen my reflection in a snow-covered hill...strong...invincible...solid. I built my life around my children, educating them at home, pouring calling and purpose and destiny into them at every opportunity.



I would never have consciously admitted it, but I thought I could insure their outcome with the currency of my own passion for Christ. The child in my heart wanted to believe in happily ever after, and that prodigals only happened to other people.



It's no secret. My sons took their spiritual inheritance and treated it as worse than insignificant.



Landslide.



My world really did crumble. Because I had placed my well-being in something other than In Christ Alone.



A common midlife miscalculation. A sudden riptide that threatened my till-then firm footing. I doubted whether I could really handle the changing seasons of my life.



I held tight to that mis-placed hope, but the winds of change were gale-force and unrelenting for about the space of three years, and I was afraid.  I was so afraid of the human condition called "failure".



One day...I simply let go. Open-palmed and falling forward, God's grace became the only hope I had.



Losing myself in the ensuing landslide was a severe mercy, and a wonderful, bountiful dealing for my soul.



I hope the day comes when, every time my sons hear the hymn "In Christ Alone", they think of me and get misty-eyed...



...and I hope that every time my boys hear "Landslide" they think of me...worship God for His Great Love for them...



...and do the ugly-cry.











"Landslide"



I took my love and took it down

I climbed a mountain and I turned around

And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills

Till the landslide brought me down



Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?

Can the child within my heart rise above?

Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?

Can I handle the seasons of my life?



Well, I've been afraid of changing

'Cause I've built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Even children get older

And I'm getting older too



Well, I've been afraid of changing

'Cause I've built my life around you

But time makes you bolder

Even children get older

And I'm getting older too

Oh, I'm getting older too



I take my love, take it down

I climb a mountain and turn around

And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills

Will the landslide bring you down

And if you see my reflection in the snow-covered hills

Will the landslide bring you down, oh, oh

The landslide bring you down







Grace and Peace,



Sheila Atchley



All blog content is the property of the writer, including all "In the Middle" intellectual and visual art property...

Building An Altar of Gratitude {...and lifting up my soul...}

I hope this well-encourages your soul.  The Preacher and I "slipped the surly bonds" of chores and work and phones for a couple of hours today.

I just wanted to share a few of the images with you.  {The song is "Lift Up My Soul" by Judah and the Lions}

Moments before we decided to make the drive back home, I plunged my hands into the river, cold and elbow-deep, for the perfect, flat rocks.  I wanted to build a tiny altar - to memorialize our recent Resurrection Sunday, for spending the day with the whole family...parents and prodigals and children and their spouses and grandchildren...all of us trophies of grace...and it was perfect in its imperfection.  We without doubt were living a dream we did not earn and do not deserve.

Oh, this life...this life in Christ...

I needed to thank God for all His goodness to me...

Multiple Social Media Identities {Can We Raise Awareness?}

{Thank you in advance for grace...this is a re-post from my archives - one that I will be bringing out periodically this year, all year long.  It has gotten amazing response, with at least two other "selves" deleted that I know about.  Raising awareness of this important issue...please do share across all your social media platforms, and include, if you will, the hashtag #onlyoneme.  Many thanks...}











{Girls and moms, please feel free to click on, and save the above image, pin it to Pinterest, and share it across your social media platforms like Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, or Vine.}



I am 47 years old. I am a pastor's wife. I have pudge around my middle-aged middle.



Three strikes against me, you'd think, when it comes to all these super cool, super cute highschool and college girls....three strikes, so you'd think I'd be out. But I'm in!



For whatever reason, y'all like me.



That may be because I adore you.



I do. I haven't met a young girl but what I didn't feel the urge to coach or mother her into her identity in Christ. I told my last girl I mentored, straight up, "I love you, and I am here to grab you by your arm, and DRAG you as FAST AS YOU CAN RUN to meet up with your destiny, because you are behind the time of your development!"



And that's what we did.



I have a new burden about others of you. I want those of you with more than one social media identity (on Instagram, Vine, Snapchat, or even Facebook) I want you to delete every other identity/account you have, and keep only the one you wouldn't mind your daddy or momma to see.



Will the "real you" please stand up?



Can you stand up courageously, by declaring to your entire social media platform that there is #onlyoneme. Ask all your friends: Will the real you please #standup ?



If you are REALLY brave, let everyone who follows you know that you have #deletedmyotherselves



If you have only one social media identity, across all platforms, and your parents are welcome to see most of what is there...please speak up, and challenge your peers to the same policy.



Why? Because these multiple technology personalities are hurting your friends. Like...really damaging them, psychologically and emotionally. When I was your age,I lied about who I was calling on that phone that was tethered to the wall in the family kitchen. A very low tech,low investment lie.



Today, you guys can lie elaborately, and with a single deleting swipe of a finger,an entire false persona can be concealed...in an instant.





Join me, if you will, in starting a movement. A bold move towards a genuine honest undisguised YOU. Delete those other "selves" if you are one of the many who has them:













{again, please feel free to share the above, square #onlyoneme collage banner. Share the hashtag and banner across all your social media platforms.}



Join me, girls, and let's create a movement of young women who are willing to be genuinely and conspicuously THEMSELVES.



Please share this post with your highschool and college age girlfriends - leave me a comment below if you are ready to join me in starting a movement.



#onlyoneme

#deleteyourotherselves

#willtherealyoupleasestandup

Our New Raised Garden Beds {Oh Happy Day}

...so our Saturday began thusly:

Going big AND going home.  Why does it have to be EITHER "go big" OR "go home"?  I think home is the place to shine.  This was the topsoil delivery truck for Operation Raised Bed Gardening.

...about mid-day.  Thank heaven for sons-in-love.  Even skinny-ish ones.  These men beasted it yesterday.

...as the sun sank in the western sky, just last night.

The Preacher was as achey and tired as a man could be today - and Sundays are not his day off.  So many thanks to my father, Harry Gilreath, for the amazing message on "An Increase of Faith".  It was such a practical word for business owners, mommas, daddies, employees, even kids.  I think everyone came away feeling so blessed.

And as the sun sinks low in that western sky tonight, this Preacher's Wife is planning her vegetable plantings with an enthusiasm that is almost violent.

So.  So.  Excited.

If Today Was "Backwards Day" {calling bad good, being backassward and thinking it's OK}

Being backassward is dangerous...but let's imagine....





If today was Backwards Day, I would take all my middle-aged angst and offense, and in one glorious moment of narcissism I would use it as my excuse to say, "Ah, the hell with it. I am going to "break free" of the confining venues of church and Sundays and sermons and leadership and grow flowers."



What woman wouldn't rather do that, right?



If today was Backwards Day, I would be okay with hurting little children and all my girlfriends, and chalk it up to the fact that they just don't understand.



If today was Backwards Day, I would run right back to the law for my righteousness.



If today was Backwards Day, I would burn bridges with my own flesh and blood because they hurt me first.



If today was Backwards Day, I would be so needy of my grown children's approval, I would sell out my convictions.



If today was Backwards Day, I would back off, back down, lay back and coast because that's what the next generation wants to see....sheer jaded unenthusiasm.



If today was Backwards Day, I would love bunnies and puppies and mountains more than people. Bunnies and mountains don't have opinions that alter My Reality.



If today was Backwards Day, I would travel and buy a boat and build a barn for my Nubian goats, while giving less of my money and none of my time so that Haitian pastors can have four block walls and a few chickens.



If today was Backwards Day, I would get my chainsaw and sever important relationships and think I was all badass and brave for doing it. I would even find a morbid sense of "healing" in it.



If today was Backwards Day, I would question leadership while being completely unwilling to shoulder responsibility and lead. I would also shoot at leaders via Facebook.



If today was Backwards Day, I would think that all my friends need to show they care about me, not me show that I care about all my friends.



If today was Backwards Day, I would hate country music.



{just wanted to see if you were still with me...}



If today was Backwards Day, I would make reckless, self centered choices, and think that a few poetic lines on my blog can justify my reasoning. I might call my choice "do it, duck, and run"....yeah, that sounds Christlike, right?



Oh wait, being conformed to His image is neither here nor there, when it's all about me and my fragile faith.



If today was Backwards Day, I would feel no obligation to explain myself. Am I my brother's keeper?



That pretty much covers it. Anybody for declaring tomorrow the Official Backwards Day?



Thought not. If you think that'd just be wrong....you'd be right.







Grace and Peace,



Sheila Atchley



All blog content is the property of the writer, including all "In the Middle" intellectual and visual art property...

Catch and Release {Why I Love Instagram}

One of the most important spiritual exercises we can do, is to practice a conscious gratitude for momentary gifts, without the need to "own" or hold onto those gifts.

If our sense of God and of life is one of scarcity, then we feel jealous of others gifts. We compete, because deep down we feel there is a limited supply of happy, and if someone else has more, that means we have less, and we are driven to prove our own value. Scarcity mentality motivates us to cling to people, things, and experiences as though that little bit of joy might be the last we are allowed to experience until next week...or next year.

An abundance mindset blesses us with the feeling that, at any moment, the little floater of our awareness, bobbing on the surface of our consciousness, is going to tell us that we are getting a nibble of joy...




...and the tug of the nibble often means that there is a big fat benediction on the hook...a Great Grace...this Present Moment...and we get to reel it right in.

And when we land it, when we pull it in, alive and gyrating, we don't have to kill the Present Moment by hanging onto it forever, trying to make it last and last.

On the contrary. Like all good fisherman, we can catch, kiss, and gently release. Because there are many, many more precious and present moments in this ocean of life.

Because the sweetness is in the catching, not the keeping.




This is why history's most joyful saints didn't have big houses or well wadded bank accounts. They didn't live lavishly. Their awareness of true riches made them gather wild flowers, good books, and good friends. They needed no tangible memento - they could catch and release, knowing they would pick flowers, read, and have coffee again with a friend tomorrow. Their God daily loaded them with benefits, and they lived like this is true.

I think those old saints and monks would have loved my iPhone.


I use my iPhone as my fishing pole - my tool for my catch and release lifestyle of joy. When something touches me, I reel that moment right in, "kiss" it, and release it with each push of the "share" button. Some days there are just. so. many. fish. (Hypothetically.) Other days, I might reel in only one or two. But you can be certain I am taking joy just watching for the first nibble of beauty.

You may have a practice of mindful catch-and-release gratitude like mine. I love to invite Jesus Christ to walk with me, from the beginning of the day to my present moment in a chronological meander...picture by picture by picture. Or I may find Christ inviting me to linger with him over specific moments or feelings or thoughts from the day.




These images were the special moments in the day when I felt His smile in some small thing, or felt a twinge of something that made me catch the Present Moment and reel it in for closer examination.

I find it such an art, to catch and release those milliseconds of grace, knowing...trusting...that this life of mine is brim-ful of benefit. I exist, drenched in His overflow. I have His life in me, and that life is exuberant and knows but one way: "increase - no end."




And so yes, I grab my phone and snap the image and release it back into the ocean of His grace. I then cast my hook and wait to feel the next nibble of happiness.

This whole spinning earth is full of His glory. I need not cling or claim ownership of any experience, person, or thing. There is way more where that bit of joy came from, and heaven is forever.


Visit me over on Instagram (user name is SheilaAtchleyDesigns)? Join me in my daily meditation practice of "catch and release"? (See live Instagram Invitation link to the right sidebar.)




Grace and Peace,

Sheila Atchley

All blog content is the property of the writer, including all "In the Middle" intellectual and visual art property...

You Might Be a Narcissist If {...our generation's journey away from self absorption...}

So I have done hours of hard research into this subject, partly to be equipped to deal with things in my personal life, partly to be equipped in the ministry.

Narcissism.

Narcissus, in Greek mythology, fell in love with his own reflection.

Narcissism, in real life, is more rampant than we think.

In fact, a couple of years back, my research became uncomfortable for me at times. My own areas of woundedness and humanity began to be revealed to me.

I fell out of love with my reflection. It was a wonderful, bountiful dealing for my soul.

I remember once, being in a room with several women. There were items displayed on a table, and we were all looking. I noticed that a few of us were blocking another woman's line of sight. I murmured, "Let me get out of your way."

Someone else, I am not sure who, said, "Oops. My artistic side is showing. I am always
in my own world."
I remember my instant, inner, very quiet reaction. Without turning to see who spoke, I remember disagreeing, in that moment. And I still disagree. When I am being truly artistic, I am very aware of details and nuance. Far from being oblivious to subtleties, I am actually tuned into the smallest of lines and shadows.





So you might be a narcissist if:

~You lack a true awareness of others.

~If you are always feeling left out, or like you don't belong.

~if you experience being offended more than once or twice a year

~You manage to turn the conversation to yourself. Even someone else's prayer request can turn into your own bid for attention.

~If anyone in your life is made to feel as if they are not "enough" - cannot do enough, care enough, give enough...

~You genuinely believe you are "different" or "special". (This is where Christians can be the most guilty of veiled narcissism - God is no...no....no respecter of persons.)

~You are an over-spender, or overly aware of the spending of others

~You are generous (yes! Many narcissists are givers...for the relational leverage, for the boost in self esteem, for an excuse to buy themselves what they want)

~If you routinely find fault in others

~Collect a large number of friends on Facebook.



~Put stock in Facebook "likes", and worse, compare them to those of someone else

~avoid Facebook entirely, denigrating it as not worth your time (!!). Healthy people are characterized by having no extremes.


~are hyper-spiritual about peripheral issues (God says this and that to you, always aboutyou), but you are easily offended, and lack true depth where it counts

~if you personalize almost everything

~if you pay undue attention to compliments

~if you take criticism personally

~if you are easily angered

~if you are jealous, always competing and comparing

~if you manipulate or punish with your emotions

~over-use of sarcasm

~if you gravitate to leadership positions (yep....many narcissists are leaders, but not all leaders are narcissists - or at least they are aware of the tendency and guard against it)

~if you have soft personal boundaries, becoming enmeshed in others drama

~if your own life generates drama, you are definitely a narcissist

For a very brief overview, go here

Or here

To be better equipped to battle narcissism in yourself, or set strong boundaries for more healthy relationships with the narcissists in your life, you can go deeper here


Grace and Peace,

Sheila Atchley

All blog content is the property of the writer, including all "In the Middle" intellectual and visual art property...

A Lenten Meditation {Why We Must Think Right About Others}

The Proverbs say "All the days of the afflicted are evil, but (s)he who has a merry heart has a continual feast."

This applies to everything. We often hear this verse applied to our attitude, but it also applies to our relationships. Even mind-science has a term for it...and it is a very real, measurable phenomenon...

...called confirmation bias. On a harmless level, if you begin to consider purchasing a Prius, you will suddenly see them everywhere. On a very harmful level, the negative things you choose to entertain about a spouse, friend, father or mother, you will easily find in them. Confirmation Bias. It is proven and measurable and we all have it.

If I tell myself my husband is a Witless Wonder, my mind will search for confirmation, and will find it.

If I tell myself my husband is wise, my mind will search for confirmation and will find it.                    


What you tell yourself directly affects your emotional well being.

What you tell yourself about others directly affects your relationships...which directly affects your well being.

All but the very least discerning in your circle knows if you are entertaining negativity about them. They can sense it.

Do you have a conscience? At all? Most Christians do. If you have a conscience, that is another big reason to think well of others. Your mind watches you. Your own mind registers every inner attitude, then measures it against what you say and do. When you demean someone with your words, and then you smile at them the next time you see them...

...you are at odds, deep inside, if you have any conscience. Something will feel disingenuous. The worst thing you can do is blame the other person. They are not responsible for your perspective...or your emotions.

It is best to choose a perspective of respect at every opportunity - on the inside first. Let the hidden man of the heart begin to look for the praiseworthy in others. Your mouth will eventually speak life, from the overflow of your heart. That positive, happy, upbeat attitude of yours will make all your relationships feel like a Saturday morning...

...light. Sweet. Easy.

Confirmation Bias is a Biblical concept. Confirmation Bias exists in you, no matter what. Why not make it work FOR you, not against you?




Grace and Peace,

Sheila Atchley

All blog content is the property of the writer, including all "In the Middle" intellectual and visual art property...