Of Front Porches and Christmas

I have spent a blissful afternoon today decorating my front porch for Christmas. The only "rule" I made for myself was that nothing could be bought ~ it all had to come from my garden, combine with what was already there, and be finished off from my small stash of bows and berries I always use for the holidays.

Clippers in hand, I went to work, chopping greenery from our Leland cypress trees, and many many stems from my sweet olive bush. The fragrance of the small white flowers on that sweet olive, combined with the fresh scent of evergreen now fills the air on my front porch. Here are the happy results of an afternoon's quiet work ~

Front door




Tim found and then painted that rock for me, twenty years ago.




I someday want steps right where that double rocker is sitting...





added greenery and large, red ornaments to the pansies already in the planters

Swag, hung on the column

The whole porch

The planters, from the obvious perspective - standing over them.

This is my favorite. My strawberry jar was repurposed beautifully!

Come to my back porch, now, where I want to show you the....ornamental cabbage

the old wagon, with pansies and cabbage (needs more pansies, but I digress...)

the firepit, from behind (sunflower seed bird feeder in foreground)

the firepit - twinkle lights on the little trees!




the sun was setting as I finished up...




And now we've come full circle again to the front porch. Come sit and have some hot tea with me. God has been good to us, no?

From my front porch to your heart, here is my Thanksgiving "card" to all of you~

Bringing In the Sheaves - Harvesting More Thoughts of Gentle Gratitude...

Come...sit with me for a bit. There's a fire in my fireplace tonight, soft Christmas music playing on the Bose, and fresh coffee in the coffeepot. I have the house to myself for a little while, my heart is tender and tranquil, and I'm feeling so thankful.

It is Tuesday - and in the month of November, my Tuesdays have been for bringing in sheaves and sheaves of thankfulness.

(side note - seems like a contradiction, in light of the post I just made an hour ago. But it isn't. I've been planning a final "Bringing in the Sheaves" post for two days. I composed the piece on "What is a Cult" in total peace, in about thirty minutes. Written in complete objectivity, with a goal to inform. And don't you love the juxtaposition of the words, "piece" and "peace"? Or am I a hopeless word-nerd?)

I am grateful for...

young men who go to jared's jewelers, believing money is no object for this kind of once-in-a-lifetime purchase...

daughters who smile and their eyes disappear, comfort food, diet coke, that my nfl team is undefeated.

the music of strauss, allison krauss, nickel creek, and josiah atchley - who will soon write masterpieces.

a baby who turns one year old today, epsom salts, long walks, ten minute hair color, cotton sheets, tim's broad shoulders, the grace of God.

friends from indianapolis, indiana...my aunt and uncle's two log cabins in deer lodge tennessee...my sister's lake house...the fact that i have one house...living on a cul-de-sac.

old cars that still run, online christmas shopping, the way he calls me "beautiful".

morning and evening prayer, saints of old, the season of advent, seeing my youngest son on the worship team for the first time this past sunday - my own little drummer boy.

decorating the outdoor firepit for christmas, ginger snap cookies, my 600 watt kitchenaid mixer, my ugly old toothless stinky dog, my neighbor's cute new shitzu named otis, my 3 pound puppy aptly named rambo, my pots of paper whites blooming on the kitchen windowsill...

...planning and executing yet one more daughter's wedding.

...that all my children will be gathering near this weekend, for getting to drive "over the river and through the woods" to a picturesque setting for Thanksgiving, for not having to cook the whole meal, for pepperidge stuffing in the bag, whole cranberries, muse and inspiration.

seeing my man catch the eye of other women - i know he is that cute, especially in a baseball cap.

tim in a beard, tim in a suit, tim in a black sweater, tim in his matchbox jeep, tim in anything or nothing at all...

just tim.

the grace message, the whole gospel, good and righteous acts of the saints, and the fact that i actually had a concert pianist in my home for lunch this past week, a beautiful young asian college student - i'd have given anything to have recorded her playing classical music on our piano.

potato soup, oak leaves, my scottish heritage, the privilege of holding a tiny bird in the palm of my hand every single day, petting him and getting kisses from him - this bird shows me that he adores me. imagine it... such a childhood dream come true!

resale shops, those roasted chickens under the heat lamps at the grocery, asparagus, white concealer for the under-eye area, a spa gift card that is calling my name...

being with my parents, my sister, all my children, with two new sons, and church family this christmastime...

the fact that every single relationship i enjoy and hold dear has been hard-won...we have seen our times of tears and we have been offended, but we have loved jesus more than our right to be right.

a harvest moon, the november sky at night, the privilege of editing a friend's book, the way my home looks at night when you stand outside - windows aglow, sounds of waterfall.

i am grateful for my favoritest holiday, Thanksgiving.

Have a blessed, blessed Thanksgiving dear friends! Until next year, when I'll be bringing in yet more sheaves - indeed, worthy of my own blog tradition. Thank you for the enthusiastic response!

What Is a Cult?

If you are reproached for the name of Christ, blessed are you, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you. On their part He is blasphemed, but on your part He is glorified.

I am feeling extra blessed. I've discovered today that some former church members (two of the dozen or so in our sixteen year history who left disgruntled) have said that we are a cult.

I have no clue what the rationale is behind this sad, uneducated accusation, but it is as old as the New Testament church. This seems to be the card that offended or bitter people tend to play, as a means of self justification.

Whatever.

All it means is we're blessed as a church, and Christ is glorified through the preaching of the gospel. Christ is blasphemed on their part. How is He blasphemed? James chapter 3~

But no man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.

The name of Christ is blasphemed (Greek: to speak evil of, to reproach) when a man who calls himself a brother (or a woman who calls herself a sister), turns and brings this level of reproach against sincere and Godly men and women, who are in Christ, quite literally part of His body.

This level of slanderous and evil speaking goes far beyond mere criticism.

No matter how sharp the disagreement I've had with many a church leader in twenty years, some unknown, some famous, I have stopped short of calling their church a cult, though one I have known comes perilously close - partly because I know what a "cult" is. Partly because I fear the Lord too much to cause that kind of division and schism in the body...and I frankly long for the name of Christ to be glorified.

This brings about a teaching moment - you know me. Take lemons and....make lemonade. Or something.

I have several reference materials I could cite and use to describe what a "cult" actually is, but out of curiousity I decided to simply google it. Yeah. I decided to use the research tool that is at the fingertips of almost everyone, including the people who have made this ridiculous accusation. I decided to use the very first resource that Google turned up.

It radically proves how uneducated the accusation is! Anyone with a thinking mind could just google the term "cult" and in ten minutes find out that most Bible believing, established churches don't fall under the definition. Here is what I came up with, in less than two minutes (http://www.csj.org/, article entitled "Cults 101, a Checklist of Cult Characteristics" by Janja Lalich, Ph.D. and Michael D. Langone, Ph.D.) :

The group displays excessively zealous and unquestioning commitment to its leader and (whether he is alive or dead) regards his belief system, ideology, and practices as the Truth, as law.
‪ Questioning, doubt, and dissent are discouraged or even punished.

‪ Mind-altering practices (such as meditation, chanting, speaking in tongues, denunciation sessions, and debilitating work routines) are used in excess and serve to suppress doubts about the group and its leader(s).

‪ The leadership dictates, sometimes in great detail, how members should think, act, and feel (for example, members must get permission to date, change jobs, marry—or leaders prescribe what types of clothes to wear, where to live, whether or not to have children, how to discipline children, and so forth).
‪ The group is elitist, claiming a special, exalted status for itself, its leader(s) and members (for example, the leader is considered the Messiah, a special being, an avatar—or the group and/or the leader is on a special mission to save humanity).

‪ The group has a polarized us-versus-them mentality, which may cause conflict with the wider society.

‪ The leader is not accountable to any authorities (unlike, for example, teachers, military commanders or ministers, priests, monks, and rabbis of mainstream religious denominations).

‪ The group teaches or implies that its supposedly exalted ends justify whatever means it deems necessary. This may result in members' participating in behaviors or activities they would have considered reprehensible or unethical before joining the group (for example, lying to family or friends, or collecting money for bogus charities).
‪ The leadership induces feelings of shame and/or guilt in order to influence and/or control members. Often, this is done through peer pressure and subtle forms of persuasion.

‪ Subservience to the leader or group requires members to cut ties with family and friends, and radically alter the personal goals and activities they had before joining the group.
‪ The group is preoccupied with bringing in new members.

‪ The group is preoccupied with making money.

‪ Members are expected to devote inordinate amounts of time to the group and group-related activities.

‪ Members are encouraged or required to live and/or socialize only with other group members.

‪ The most loyal members (the “true believers”) feel there can be no life outside the context of the group. They believe there is no other way to be, and often fear reprisals to themselves or others if they leave (or even consider leaving) the group.

Obviously, one can see how any church who follows Biblical practices could be mistaken as a cult - the early church was. Church leaders are respected. Strong churches gather zealously around their/our core beliefs - the doctrinal essentials. Some may speak in tongues. Some worship very extravagantly and expressively. Some do not. Some beautiful, effective churches might even be rather preoccupied with bringing in new members. If it is through salvation, the very thought makes me giddy with joy!

Churches collect money. Churches sometimes have to invoke what is known as "church discipline" (an intensely Scriptural practice, if done by consensus and very, very carefully, in a spirit of grace). Wise churches will discourage church hopping, and encourage a basic level of committment. A valid church may even make its leaders accountable to conduct themselves by a higher standard, should there be a disagreement. But these characteristics should never be misconstrued as cultish. Accusations like that are uneducated at best, dishonest and cruel at worst.

If you are in a church that expects you to take part in every single activity of the church (something Tim and I openly refuse to do) and enforces "debilitating work routines in excess" you might be in a legalistic church, or you might be in a cult. I hesitate to use even that as an indicator, because the truth is a new church plant takes a startling amount of work, and it can even feel sometimes like it takes a "debilitating" amount of work to set up, break down, and get a transient (without its own building) church plant off the ground.

Particularly if you are in a church that tries to tell you in detail what you can do or not do, what to wear, and how to spend your time, who to marry or where to work - run.

If you are part of a church, and you discover clearly unethical practices, immorality in the leadership, etc. - run.

If you argue with, or question what the pastor teaches, just once or twice, and you are asked to step down from your position of leadership, or are otherwise taken to task - run. (If you debate with the pastor for six or more months, and he hangs in there with you, having discussion after discussion after discussion...hug the man, and tell him wild horses wouldn't drag you out from under his patient leadership!)

If you find yourself ostracized or censured for having friends outside your church - run. (Most of our church members have as many friends, if not more, outside our church than in it. We're not a large church!)

Just an FYI:

Just because a church is small, does not make it a cult.

Just because a church rallies around its leadership, does not make it a cult.

Just because a church does not condone or pacify divisive behavior, does not make it a cult.

Just because a church believes in the gift of tongues, does not make it a cult.

Just because a group of people pull together for a common goal, does not make it a cult. (Please look up the definition of "unity".)

Just because you left a church, does not make it a cult.

You might be touching the apple of His eye...

Big, Big, BIG Announcement...

Today, November 21st, 2009, my beautiful daughter Sarah became engaged to Jonathan Howe. He took her out on a date, and proposed in the most romantic way. He purchased a stunning ring for her, getting every detail right, artist that he is. Impeccable taste in women and jewelry.

Hannah and Justin came over, and we all eagerly awaited Sarah and Jonathan's arrival back home, and they were glad and gracious to share the moments with us. I joyfully share them with you~

Um, I sort of wrote the words. I did my best.

Presents from Hannah, all tied up in ribbons...

Our family's chalkboard wall - keeper of many happy moments!

They're HOME!

Proud, proud daddy. Emotional moment. Jonathan is a man of God - that is what matters intensely to him.

THE ring. Wish you could see the gallery...simple, elegant, yet unusual and beautiful.

Giddy couple...

Hannah, beginning the season of engagement for her sister with a hand written, hilarious, dramatic rendition of her own...

Listening and snuggling...

Dad absolutely must now have "the apple talk". Jonathan was laughing so hard he couldn't speak.

Telling her Mima and Granddaddy the big news...

Sisters forever...best friends forever, too.

Arranging the massive amount of flowers Jonathan got for her today...

And tonight, I discover (with delight, I add) that tomorrow I will be hosting lunch for about 14 people - Jonathan's family, our family. And so it begins! Whew. Two weddings in one year. I don't know when exactly they will get married, the date has not been set, but yeah...these daughters of mine are my double portion - I've had to do everything in two's for the last twenty-two years, and my heart is beyond glad.

If you are near and dear enough to come along for the ride, please fasten your seatbelts, and keep your hands and arms inside at all times.

Precious friends, the words of a poem come to mind:

"Grow old along with me

The best is yet to be

The last of life for which the first was made

Our times are in his hand

Who saith, 'A whole I planned,

Youth shows but half; Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!'”

So here we go. Are you ready? I'm so glad you are here with us! This is going to be great!

Grace+Good Friends=Good Times

The doctor (l) and pastor (r)

Inside the Tennessee Theatre

Ceiling detail

More detail overhead...

The orchestra, preparing for gorgeous renditions of Haydn, Mendelssohn, Wagner and Strauss

Happy birthday, dear Cheryl!

Big grins, handsome faces...

Grace+Good Friends=Good Times (me n' Cheryl...isn't she the cutest??)

Random but Sweet...

I'm being sweetly bitten by the redecorating bug. That is a very, very good sign. You see, when I am in my happy place, I find myself full of creative ideas and creative energy, and there is always a project brewing. All of last year, and some of this year, I had no interest in my surroundings. How unlike me.


As my heart and mind have been washed and renewed again and again with the gospel, as I've shaken off negative thoughts and negative influences, the Spirit of God has restored my soul over and over this past year. The results are so far reaching, I have found my prayers radically altered, the hours spent in the study of Scripture multiplied, my family relationships transformed, and this gospel has touched even the place in my heart given to hearth and home...embers gently breathed upon, everything set to rights, aired out, and refreshed. The fire now burns cheerily again, and the emotional surfaces gleam, and I discover that I still really do...really, really do....love interior design, I love my home, and its atmosphere is still incredibly important to me.




This shall be a mixed blessing for my husband, who fortunately is very handly with tools. Because I very much want to repaint my kitchen and dining room, get a new couch and a couple of comfy arm chairs, shop out a round dining room table, and I'd absolutely love to add some steps and a sidewalk to my front porch, and finish my kitchen cabinets (a project begun 6 years ago).



On the evening of December 6th, 2003, Tim and I spent our first night in our new master bedroom. God had done what only He can do, and so we'd been able to purchase the home we had been renting for over ten years. The Lord also enabled us to renovate and add on to it. The home got spruced up, painted (a total palette change), and everything from windows to roof to siding, all but the oak floors got replaced.


That was six years ago. I'm ready for more changes, here and there.



Therefore, just for fun, I'm sharing a few pictures from my digital "idea folder". (If I run across something I totally love, I save it to this folder, without analyzing it...not yet. I'm waiting until the resources come in to make the changes I want to make, and then I will analyze my idea folder and choose a workable design scheme...)

Call me crazy, I just love the simplicity of that Christmas tree...

And this bedroom...

See the red? Beautiful!

I also love the craziness of this creative space...

The idea of a sewing area in a closet is a workable solution for me. I don't have the space, even when kids all move out, for a dedicated sewing room...

I so need steps to my front porch. (You have to walk up my adjacent driveway and enter my front porch from the right side...)

The ideal home office...full of old, fully functioning objects and natural light.

Bigger isn't necessarily better. This is my "dream house"!

Someday, my kitchen will have a center island exactly like this - simple and old. Isn't that so do-able??

Bringing in More Sheaves - a Harvest of Thoughts of Gentle Gratitude

in keeping with this month of harvest and Thanksgiving, I am incredibly grateful for...


the free gift of grace, the courage i've seen in one man to preach it regardless of what it costs him personally, the courage i've seen in one church to walk in the revelation of it regardless of what it costs them, the courage i've seen in faithful friends to embrace a pure, New Covenant gospel...knowing full well that it means that satan has declared war upon them.



the overthrow of the tyranny of my own ability to perform. the rule and reign of Jesus Christ who said


It.

Is.

Finished.


the epic drama of the cosmic battle between good and evil, human effort and grace, flesh and spirit...only the God of story could weave such a captivating masterpiece, narrated from genesis to revelation to right this very moment...


seasons of harvest, bare limbs of trees, the aesthetic of winter as the earth reveals her "good bones",


23rd wedding anniversaries, friends in texas and scotland, hearing the voice of a trophy of grace via skype all the way from cambodia just today, the miracle of email, the 'block' feature in facebook, and the blessing of old fashioned pen and paper mail,


hope that maketh not ashamed, chanel purses, the designer barbara berry, the composer schubert, target stores, the kitten heel shoe style, and being a girly-girl.

missionaries in columbia, tim's kind brown eyes, new construction going on at my church, my teacup poodle's smooshy mustache - all crooked and cute at the moment, doctors, nurses, and chiropractors, teachers and engineers, and home makers who are the most brilliant of them all.

whole grain pasta, pine nuts, the revelation of the gospel found in the book of romans, friends with november birthdays, having a house full of musical instruments, and the fact that i still believe in speaking in tongues and that God heals today - even instantly...

...for having been instantly healed of a migraine the first week of august, and never again having another migraine headache since that day.


that we've managed by the grace of God and against great odds to not become cynical and jaded, for my grandma's antique furniture, cute reading glasses, and for still caring whether or not my reading glasses are cute.


books, coffee, and a friend who dearly loves both. sparkly crystals on jewelry but not on my jeans, the knowledge that cute swarovski crystal studs are just as an "authentic material" as diamonds and no one but the inauthentic care about the difference in cost.

a throne of grace to which to run in time of need, knowing my need, having my needs met according to the riches of His glory by Christ Jesus, not by my own education, hard work, or morality...

...that i hold in very high esteem education, hard work, and clean living, because this sort of life beautifully adorns the gospel of the God i serve.

the fact that my husband and son just now got home, and i know both will kiss me hello...

Coming to Harvest Church...

Our college/career age small group begins this comprehensive Biblical curriculum this evening:




Got a gigantic pot of chili on the stove, and the Frito's and sour cream ready. Candles are lit. Small group begins at my house in less than half an hour.

And so the Truth Project, Harvest style, begins.

Underlined Bits

I don't underline and highlight only spiritual books or my Bible. I also underline and highlight any beautiful thought, any well turned phrase, from any good book.

I received four (gleefully count with me...one...two...three...four) books by Glady's Taber for my birthday this year, from someone in North Carolina. I thought I'd gotten three - but another one came in the mail today, and I vocalized my delight.

read: I squealed, ever so briefly.

The writing of Gladys Taber will make you feel as though you have been on a vacation. She is hard to categorize, but she usually is found under the heading of "nature writers". When I read her, I can feel my shoulders relax, and my heart unwind from its cares, as I am transported to a little farmhouse in New England, surrounded by Connecticut countryside and cocker spaniels. Now that I've joined the ranks of dog lovers, I can relate to Taber on that level as well.

Here is the lovely thing. A ministry friend of mine from New Jersey also took the time and effort to send me a blissfully long excerpt from one of Gladys Taber's books...for my birthday, arriving on my birthday.

This is the sort of writing I underline and highlight. I had bought one of Taber's books for someone, way back early-spring, and I put it away to give to them this Christmas, thoughtful friend that I am. But this person has lost touch with me, and so...their loss is your gain.

I gift you, this evening, with an ever-so-brief respite from the stresses of the day. The first person who emails me (email address is on the left side-bar) and does not mind sharing his or her address privately, via my email, gets the book I had saved as a Christmas gift. It shall be your gift, from me. I'll pay to ship it to you wherever you are, even Australia. (hint, hint) If you have ever lived in, or wished to live in a historic, cozy home...if you enjoy dogs...if you enjoy the countryside and creation....if you enjoy great writing...you will love this book.

If you want more where this came from, I can't give you any of my birthday books. But you can go to your favorite used book website and purchase one of Gladys Taber's "Stillmeadow" series of books. Enjoy this excerpt!

"Now in November, the leaves spread cloth of gold and red on the ground.
The open fields take on a cinnamon tone and the wild blackberry canes in the swamp are frosted purple. The colors fade slowly to sober hues. The rain falls with a determination in long leaden lines, and when it stops water drips from the eaves.

The voice of the wind changes, for winds are seasonal too. Summer winds blow soft, musical with leaves, except for thunderstorms. Hurricane winds scream. In blizzard time the sleet-sharp gale has a crackling noise. But now the wind has a mournful sound, marking the rhythm of autumn's end. The first beat of winter is not yet here, and country folk tend to spend extra time doing chores or puttering, just to be out of doors.

When Indian summer comes, nothing indoors seems important. I must carry my breakfast tray to the terrace and eat in the wine-bright sun. There is always a haze on the hills, making them dream-like. Eternal summer shines from a soft sky. Perhaps it is such an enchanted time because it is a promise that another summer will come, after winter goes.

In the evening we go outdoors again to be sure the moon is where she should be. The night is cold, but it is not yet the cold that chills the bones. The stars seem very close, some of them seem to be blossoming in the bare branches of the sugar maples. Night is a vast dark sea with the moon a distant light in a mysterious harbor. Stillmeadow seems a small ship to be in such a limitless ocean, but how steadfast it looks under the tall spars of the giant maples! Light shines through the small-paned windows, and I am extravagant enough to keep the house lighted all over just because it looks, in my eyes, so beautiful glowing in the dark."

~Gladys Taber, The Stillmeadow Road - November

"Where?"

If you're reading this via my blog (as opposed to Facebook) please scroll down and hit the pause button on the music playlist on the left...many thanks.

Where are those pastor's wives...those women? I pray I am counted in their small but powerful ranks - those who stake their entire claim on the Pauline gospel of Jesus Christ. Those who have actually studied the whole counsel of God, and discovered "He who was from the beginning". Those who put no confidence in the flesh. Those pastor's wives whom truth has set free. Those who actually swim upstream, not because they are disagreeable or divisive, but rather because they refuse to water down the gospel. Where are those women?

If it isn't the Sound of Joyful Shouting...What Would You Call It?

Moderate strength is shown in violence, supreme strength is shown in levity.~GK Chesterton

Sorry to be over-quoting here , but CS Lewis spoke of pride as being the "unsmiling concentration upon self, which is the mark of hell."

Those words...unsmiling concentration upon self...have been lingering in my mind for days, now. Legalism and religion produce exactly this sort of unsmiling self absorption, and I've finally figured out that this is what bothers me about some people.

I have little fondness for those women who dread looking foolish or inappropriate, above all other kinds of dread. This is the gal who is perpetually aware of what she may look like to others. This pride is conscious of image. This sort of person isn't capable of even the moderate strength of "violence"...she is educated past her talent to be normal...too self aware to raise her voice to anyone, much less trounce them. None of that indecorous moderate strength for that sort of woman. Supreme strength? Forget the supreme strength of joy - it might manifest as a holy levity, and pride has no sense of humor.

If the proud ever do laugh, it is a second-hand emotion, not originating from their own heart, but rather it comes to them predigested. Pride is a consumer, not a producer, of humor.

I have done my share of laughing the last month or two, as certain realities about my world and myself have set in, and I make the choice to see things the way they really are. Some of the cackling is likely tinged in the barest sarcasm - which is indeed the lowest form of humor. 'Tis still humor. But most of my giggling is genuine, and medicinal, and in the company of a few dear friends. We guffaw. We have learned this past week, in the immortal words of my father: "No fools, no fun."

I have fun making a fool of myself. I'll become even more undignified than this! Others try to be all educated-dy and serious, self contained, smartened up, tense from reading dead guys, and they end up having their greatest fear come upon them - looking foolish. Not on purpose like me, mind you. Oh nonono. Never do they look foolish on purpose. Their antics are religiously intense, they know they are in a class by themselves.

::snort wheeze::

I do. I laugh at my own imaginative take on what life must be like to have "unsmiling concentration upon self."

Some say I laugh too loud. I say it is the sound of joyful shouting, heard in the tents of the righteous.

If a loud laugh isn't a sound of joyful shouting, you tell me...what would you call it?

Note - GK Chesterton is not permitted to reply to the question. We already know what he'd call it:

supreme strength.

Bringing In The Sheaves, a Harvest of Thoughts of Gentle Gratitude

I am so grateful for...



the view right outside the window of this vacation hideaway.



maryland crab cakes. bacon-ey salad with ranch dressing. cheesecake. the strength and vitality to walk it all off.



mango scented soy candles. an indulgent husband who buys them for me.



simple pleasures. the fact that soy candles make me more happy than some women can be with diamonds.



palm-sized slices of sunshine, still clinging to rain-soaked trees. the random chirp of a few, hardy crickets, persevering in song as the November sun sets.



long evenings spent reading GK Chesterton. my beautifully embossed, antique copy of "Weight of Glory" by CS Lewis - one I have owned for many, many years now. short evenings spent reading Gladys Taber. reading Wind in the Willows to children.



lamplight - pink light bulbs, to be precise. (nothing makes a room more beautiful than a pink light bulb under any color or style of lampshade.) generous dollops of red in a home's decorating scheme. toile, in restrained amounts. fresh flowers. antique furniture. the matted-and-framed photo of a loch in Scotland - a gift from a well-loved, wee Scotsman.



copper cookware. the fact that my copper pots shine like mad, with a half a lemon and some salt and elbow grease.



the thought that I planted over 50 spring-flowering bulbs into 2 gigantic planters on my back porch, this past week, before leaving for vacation.



dahlias. my canary, who sings like a dream. my parrotlet, who imitates him.



yo yo ma and his cello, eric clapton and his guitar. handel....and his Messiah.

shooting stars, church life, the way I can make him laugh.

That He loved me first.

quiet moments, busy days, isaac's gigantic smile. sarah's musical laugh, hannah's nose that wrinkles when she smiles, josiah's acoustic guitar playing.

adjectives, back roads, the smell of pine needles and the ocean air.

being convinced that I am deeply loved, cameo jewelry, the color orange, and trying new things.

friends in north carolina. having a professional mathematician in the family. having a professional artist almost in the family. being married to a pastor. having a father who has finally retired. a mother who sits by me in church - two trophies of grace we are, sitting side by side.

a sister who is even funnier than I. a brother who is a war veteran, though younger than I.

choosing to carry no baggage in life, red toenail polish, the way my husband weeps as he prepares a message. (every pastor should. does yours? do you know him well enough to say?)

puppy bellies, the winter sky, cicero's thoughts on growing old, palladian windows, old cantilever barns.

being well educated, so that I am not compelled to be a competitive, conspicuous consumer.

being able to afford it, but still not buy it. marriage. funky socks. lycra. baths. cardamom. whole nutmeg.

the fact I can still blow him a kiss and make him forget what he was about to say...

"On Your Mark...Get Set...GO!"

I'm packing lightly...preparing to leave on a much anticipated getaway, just the two of us, tomorrow, to an unspecified location.

The location is unspecified, not because we think we are rock stars, but because it is more fun to say it that way. Very honeymoonish, no? I can tell you this: there will be hot tubbing. There will be views. Plenty of water in the vicinity. There will be a bit of Christmas shopping. There will be a woman, somewhere in the south, clonking around in her western boots, having the most wonderful time of the year.

So if this blog is quiet for a few days, you know why.

Teach Us to Number Our Days

It is true, we do not remember days, we remember moments. The moments we remember, and how we remember them, is a direct result of our perspective. Perspective is a function of the heart.

Of all the Bible teaching I've done, my series (taught in 2007) on Perspective impacted me the most. Art reflects life, and life informs art. In the same way a painter or photographer has to subtract and edit and reframe in order to capture a "moment", so our heart must choose its perspective. Call it perspective. Call it worldview. Call it "attitude determines altitude". Call it theology. Call it what you will, perspective is the mechanism by which you choose what to give attention to, and how you will give attention to it.

Your life, my life, is the sum total of what we choose to give our attention to. We all eat, sleep, dream, work, travel, maintenance our belongings, love, and relate to others in this life. The moments that become our memories are those moments we gave attention to, for right or wrong reasons, whether from a negative or a positive perspective.

Our very concept of God is based on our choice of attention, whether to focus on the God of grace, who has been from the beginning, or to focus on an idol, an image of our own construction.

We interpret Scripture through our heart's perspective. This should sober us deeply.

Just as any artist has to make that critical decision about what to frame up, what to see, what to subtract (the ability to edit is what separates the true artist from the merely talented) we too choose our perspective. Subtract too much, and a room or a book or a life becomes thin and stark, lacking warmth, lacking honesty. Subtract too little, and the beautiful and important get lost in detail. Perspective colors, perfumes, and defines our moments, and thus our days, and thus our life.

The renewal of our mind, the alignment of our hearts with the truth, and the resultant perspective from which we function is of such momentous importance, I could not possibly over emphasize it. We absolutely must take every thought captive to the obedience of the life and finished work of Christ.

Salvation is complete. Redemption is finished. There is only one thing not finished. The renewal of your mind and mine is the unfinished work. It must become our daily pursuit. Sanctification (experiential, not positional) flows from the renewed mind. Only the gospel of the finished work of Christ has the power to literally renew, remake, and remold the mind - no power of self, no level of education, no form of human accomplishment can renew a mind. Only the gospel of the grace of God found in the Bible from Genesis to Revelation, has this mysterious power.

I have experienced more renewal of my mind in one year, this year, than I have my whole Christian experience. This is wholly due to the steady, unrelenting, settled teaching and preaching of the gospel in my church, as opposed to the topical or scatter shot method. It is one thing to know about grace, it is another thing to linger over the reality of it until I see transformation. Sadly, in most churches, we see the gospel treated as though it were good only for getting someone saved and after that we all must work hard at Christianized self modification.

The result of this daily choice to renew my mind in grace, is a transformed perspective that is making moments more vivid and sweet. The pace of my life is speeding up, I am taking on even more work, more responsibilities, making more big plans....yet my experience of life is more and more like a deliciously slow and tranquil holiday. Finally, at age 43, I am beginning to learn how to "number my days". Innately, I am figuring out what to pay attention to, and how to pay attention to it.

Snapshot of a moment: leave in the adorable husband, subtract the annoying habit he has of biting his nails. Simply refuse to characterize him or the moment by what annoys. Pay attention to the gift of being alive and healthy, ignore life's petty inconveniences. Pay attention to the joy of knowing faithful friends. Let the unfaithful ones do whatever it is they do, which will always be centered on themselves. Though they are a mystery to me, I set the puzzle of them aside, because some things I will never understand. Unfaithful people obviously don't need or want my attention - faithful people do need me, however, and I need them. So I move on. I take joy. As the artist in my own life, I edit what I choose to give my precious moments of attention to.

This habit of attention is what slows down the experience of a well lived life. It will enable you to hold a moment of time in your hand, as it were, and let the facets of it dazzle you. Then you enjoy the next moment. Then the next. You don't have to empty your schedule and create a contrived, self absorbed serenity to experience this wonder of a slow, deliberate life. You won't have to think of happy thoughts and grasp for insightful things to say. The grace of God can transform your perspective to the point that you gain the ability to savor, to count your blessings, to number your days, becoming wise enough to know what to pay attention to.

Your life is the sum total of what you give your attention to, and what kind of attention you give it.

Ps 90:12 So teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Whoozahappygirl?

Are certain magical planets in perfect alignment this week?

Has the fairy Godmother sprinkled me with fairy dust while I was asleep last night?

Or is God just good to His girls?

I think it is the last one. You might think this is shallow, but girls, I actually found a pair of Michael Kors jeans for....(are you sitting down?)...$19.99. These are $150 jeans if you are crazy enough to pay full price retail, which I do not believe I have ever done in all my life.

But even I don't tend to find deals this good, unless I am thrift store shopping. You can't even get them on ebay for this great a deal. I checked.

These jeans fit perfectly (read: comfortably), and look exactly the way I want them to. I have a thing about "mom jeans". I don't wear them. I also have a thing about jeans with any sort of embroidery on the leg, any sort of sparkley anything. I don't wear them. One makes me look old, the other like I'm trying too hard.

This pair of jeans has the perfect fading, not too much, not too little, and when I sit down....well, you know. It's all good.

If that were not enough, I got a gorgeous pair of Sage western boots for my birthday. I either heard angels singing when I saw the box, or was about to pass out. These babies are cute, cute, cute. And comfortable. I've never been to Texas, but I can now look as long and sort of lean as any Texas girl, and besides, Kenny Chesney is from around these parts, so I feel entitled to wear these boots with pride.

For those who are more visual, here you go:

the exact jeans I found today...and that might be me, there. Well. It could be. Ten pounds from today.

My boots. Exactly my boots. Butter soft leather.

Michael Kors jeans - $19.99 + tax, which here in Tennessee is the highest in the world, I think.

Western boots - free

Feeling happy, "stylin' and profilin" - priceless

More Than Content...

I think it was Socrates who said, "He who cannot be content with what he has, will not be content with what he wants to have." This is as true about relationships and family and church, as it is about houses or cars.

It has also been said that true wealth consists not in having what you want, but wanting what you have. November has rolled around again, tomorrow is my birthday. This always brings out the philosopher in me.

I not only have what I want...I want what I have. I. Am. Content. I have been blessed with fabulous wealth, in the form of people. I have a cup that runs over with more than a few faithful, funny, talented, loving and lovable friends and family members, all who manifest the character of God into my life.

Yesterday, on my way to church, one of these beautiful friends pulled up beside me at a stoplight. We obviously were on our way to different churches, but we have known one another, both up close and from a distance, for two decades or more. She motioned for me to roll down my window. When I did, all she shouted to me was ~

I love you.

Then she said, for no real reason ~

We've hung in there together, haven't we?

I nodded, tears stinging the backs of my eyelids. Happy tears, by the way. I know this woman. She hasn't been reading my blog. She's not the technology type. She hasn't been reading my journals, I'm sure.

But she read me like a book. In an instant, and from a distance, across pavement and rolled down glass, she read my heart of hearts, and reflected back to me what I value most.

"We've hung in there together. We're traveling in the same direction. We hold the same things in high esteem. We've been through some incredibly rough spots, we have both wanted to walk away....but we didn't. "

God blew me a kiss yesterday morning, through that encounter. He communicated His approval of my choices in life. I love relationship. I value honest communication. I despise anything that sows discord amongst spiritual family and blood family. It is more than concept or words on a screen to me. My choices prove it.

Once again/again/again, I ate the fruit of vineyards that Tim and I had labored to plant years ago. I "inhabited" a relationship that my husband and I had labored to build, and then to preserve...when at one time, it would have been easier to leave it, and start over with someone else.

Did I say I am content? Oh...I am so content.

It ain't even officially my birthday yet, but please smile with me over all these tokens of love I'm already receiving!

On Friday, my elderly neighbor brought me the real hydrangea. An hour later, my good friend Mrs. Stimphill (that would be "Stinnet" and "Hemphill" combined) brought the gift bag. In flower language, I learned from a book here at home, the hydrangea means preservation - preservation of love that lasts for ever. Thanks, Lord!

Birthday gifts, so far...(yeah. I love presents.)

What could be in this box??

Black Russian!

cards...

books, that just arrived via post, moments before I published this blog...

The best card - from my little friend David, whose birthday is same day as me. (That would be tomorrow, for those who still wish to send presents to either of us.)

Circa 1650's

The following text originates from a fictional dialogue between a pastor, a legalist, an antinomian, and a young Christian, as written by Edward Fisher in his 1650 book The Marrow of Modern Divinity. This is one of the most beautiful explanations of the gospel of grace that I have read.


"I tell you from Christ,
and under the hand of the Spirit,
that your person is accepted,
your sins are done away,
and you shall be saved;
and if an angel from heaven should tell you otherwise,
let him be accursed.
Therefore, you may (without doubt) conclude
that you are a happy man;
for by means of this your matching with Christ,
you are become one with him,
and one in him,
you ‘dwell in him, and he in you’ (1 John 4:13).
He is ‘your well beloved, and you are his’ (S. of S. 2:16).
So that the marriage union betwixt Christ and you
is more than a bare notion or apprehension of your mind;
for it is a
special,
spiritual, and
real union:
it is an union betwixt the nature of Christ,
God and man,
and you;
it is a knitting and closing,
not only of your apprehension with a Saviour,
but also of your soul with a Saviour.
Whence it must needs follow that you cannot be condemned,
except Christ be condemned with you;
neither can Christ be saved,
except you be saved with him.
And as by means of corporeal marriage all things become common betwixt man and wife;
even so, by means of this spiritual marriage,
all things become common betwixt Christ and you;
for when Christ hath married his spouse unto himself,
he passeth over all his estate unto her;
so that whatsoever Christ is or hath,
you may boldly challenge as your own.
‘He is made unto you, of God,
wisdom,
righteousness,
sanctification,
and redemption’ (1 Cor. 1:30).
And surely,
by virtue of this near union it is,
that as Christ is called ‘the Lord our righteousness’ (Jer. 23:6),
even so is the church called, ‘the Lord our righteousness’ (33:16).
I tell you,
you may,
by virtue of this union,
boldly take upon yourself,
as your own,
Christ’s watching,
abstinence,
travails,
prayers,
persecutions,
and slanders;
yea,
his tears,
his sweat,
his blood,
and all that ever he did
and suffered
in the space of three and thirty years,
with his
passion,
death,
burial,
resurrection,
and ascension;
for they are all yours.
And as Christ passes over all his estate unto his spouse,
so does he require that she should pass over all unto him.
Wherefore,
you being now married unto Christ,
you must give all that you have of your own unto him;
and truly you have nothing of your own
but sin,
and, therefore, you must give him that.
I beseech you, then,
say unto Christ with bold confidence,
I give unto thee, my dear husband,
my unbelief,
my mistrust,
my pride,
my arrogancy,
my ambition,
my wrath,
and anger,
my envy,
my covetousness,
my evil thoughts,
affections,
and desires;
I make one bundle of these and all my other offences,
and give them unto thee.
And thus was Christ made ‘sin for us, that knew no sin, that we might be made the righteousness of God in him’ (2 Cor. 5:21).
‘Now then,’
says Luther,
‘let us compare these things together,
and we shall find inestimable treasure.
Christ is full of
grace,
life,
and saving health;
and the soul is freight-full of all
sin,
death,
and damnation;
but let faith come betwixt these two,
and it shall come to pass,
that Christ shall be laden with
sin,
death,
and hell;
and unto the soul shall be imputed
grace,
life,
and salvation.
Who then is able to value the royalty of this marriage accordingly?
Who is able to comprehend the glorious riches of his grace,
where this rich and righteous husband,
Christ,
doth take unto wife this poor and wicked harlot,
redeeming her from all devils,
and garnishing her with all his own jewels?
So that you,
through the assuredness of your faith in Christ, your husband,
are delivered from all sins,
made safe from death,
guarded from hell,
and endowed with the
everlasting righteousness,
life,
and saving health
of this your husband Christ.’”
—Edward Fisher, The Marrow of Modern Divinity (Christian Focus, 2009), pp. 166–167.

I very much want this book. I am presently on a quest...

Sheila: (shē-lə), n. 1. Saint 2. Poet 3. Lover of home and church life. synonyms: simple, happy, free. antonymns: cynical, religious, legalist

(please do excuse the pearls with the jeans. I left my top half exactly as I had dressed it before church, and switched just the bottom half for the picnic, after church. Before the jeans and slip on shoes, I was wearing the cutest pair of woolen, menswear style, navy blue, cuffed-hem trousers, with a wide leg ~ accessorized with navy blue and burgundy leather spectator pumps. See how the sweater-and-pearls then comprised a classic outfit? I rocked it) ::perky sniff::

"The hearth is the heart of the home...(there are those who have) lost the sense of the sacredness of the home (and I would say also "the church"). They still believe in the respectability of the home (and church); but that is only another way of saying that they want to be respected by other people for reverencing what they do not really reverence...there is/was never any flame upon their altar...(thus) a generation in revolt flee from a cold hearth (and church)...

...but a family (or church) will really do without rules exactly in proportion as it is a successful family (church)...

...in order that life should be a story of romance to us, it is necessary that a great part of it should be settled for us without our permission. If we wish life to be a system, this may be a nuisance; but if we wish it to be a drama, it is an essential...

...A man has control over enough things in his life to be the hero of a novel. But if he had control over everything, there would be so much hero that there would be no novel. And the reason why the lives of the wealthy are at bottom so tame and uneventful is simply that they can choose the events. They are dull because they are omnipotent. They fail to feel the adventures because they can make the adventures. The thing which keeps life romantic and full of fiery possibilities is the existence of these great plain limitations which force all of us to meet the things we do not like or do not expect...

...To be in a romance is to be in uncongenial surroundings...

...our fathers believed in the links of kinship and also in the links of logic. Today, our logic consists mostly of missing links; and our family largely of absent members...

Today, there are fewer places to discover. The real adventure is to stay home (both to stay home-home, and to stay with your church home)."

~G.K. Chesterton (parenthetical associations are my own. Robert Frost said that an idea is a feat of association. I believe it! )

I Cannot Choose!

Today has been one of those days (they happen to me pretty often) where I have contemplated a thousand thoughts of beauty. Which one to choose? What to send out, to take its place in the trillions of words and billions of ideas sloshing around the internet this day?

My (so far) 18 month obsession with 3X5 index cards as an organizational tool? The thought of a Blackberry is tempting but unnecessary, PDA's DOA, and even my Outlook cannot outshine the simple, earthy, physical act of putting pen to paper - paper that happens to be the perfect size and intensely portable. Many more ideas have been captured, to be examined at my leisure, rather than sneaking away.

The autumn colors? I could write about them. I nearly run off the road every year, about this time. October 2009 is no exception.

The way I have discovered that I have to shield the eyes of my tiny parrotlet, when I walk with him, to keep him from getting too nervous and flighty? Oh, how the Lord would gather you under His wing, dear one! He would shield your furtive eyes from the unsafe terrain of human wisdom, but "you would not". We insist on our own understanding, we insist on walking in the light of our own eyes. Consequently, we become flighty and impulsive. We fly away when it would be safer to sit still until the feeling of confusion or unrest or boredom or anxiety passes. We move too fast, with too little wisdom. "Like a bird who wanders from his nest, is a man who wanders away from his place." (Proverbs 27:8)

We think we know where we belong, we think we know where to "go", when it is safest and sanest to sit still, and not try to see All Things.

What about this comment, left by someone I do not know, about grace? "Grace is a funny thing to talk about because it’s often thrown into conversations or sermons and I have no idea what it means. It seems very “airy” with no real content." I wish this man John could come to my church! His thoughts mirror what the majority of Christians perceive about grace, were they only honest enough to admit it.

Grace is a loaded concept. It is more than a concept. It is a Person, it is a Plan, it is beautiful and scandalous, it is a way of living, it is a way of seeing, it is utterly foundational. It RE-news your mind, over and over and over again, as you grow in it. Grace is the gospel, and the gospel is the grace of God. John's words, typed into the seeming-nothingness of his computer monitor, echo the condition of the whole church, and I find my heart tenderly breaking.

I know my life's mission. No heartbreak, no mission. Find where your heart breaks, and you'll know.

What about the joys of lobster bisque soup? Had some today. It could be an entire blog post. I could make it work.

Or the fact that, at the gentle, persistent urging of Ann Voskamp's blog "A Holy Experience", I have joined the many, many who are keeping a gratitude journal, and journaling our way to 1,000 gifts of God to be thankful for? You should see my list, begun only recently:

1. Coffee, with white chocolate macadamia cream and a touch of sugar
2. A quiet Saturday afternoon, watching football with my Tim.
3. A busy Sunday with saints who happen to be my best friends - all of them!
4. The warmth of a pocket parrot on the back of my neck.
5. The effect of Comet on stainless steel sinks.
6. The canary's song.
7. The flickering of a candle beside my bed.
8. Neckrubs from my youngest son.

That's just a few - there's more, and I only started this past week.

Or, I could blog on and on today, regarding the one phrase in Scripture: "This man Jesus...went about doing good..." It has inspired me, day after day, for about a week to ten days, now. I have fresh context for doing good - a context I didn't have before. I see in my spirit a brand new zeal to simply find someone, and do good. Good, for its own sake, is so....so good....so God-like.

Maybe I could share about my own personal version of Lauds and Vespers? Lovely thoughts, those.

Blast it, I can't choose.

We Don't Have It All Together...

...but together we have it all.

You are looking at a mother and her sons (Isaac, me, and Josiah)...three people who are full of faults, foibles, quirks, sins, thoughtless deeds, deep thoughts, and in some areas we each one possess more than a fair share of talent.

As parents, mine and Tim's relationship with our boys has been tested and tried this past year, and all while dealing with profound challenges and transition in our lives, while planning our daughter's wedding, while pouring out our hearts in the gospel, while swimming around the fishbowl of being a ministry family. It doesn't matter whether the fishbowl is small or large, a fishbowl is a fishbowl, and we live in one.

Tim and I have had to put up with criticism from one or two regarding our parenting, our personality, our words, and probably even our animals. (!!) I would not be a bit surprised if even our poodle's misbehavior was attributed to our emphasis on the gospel of grace. The scrutinization has been excruciatingly petty at times, and at other times it has been used by God to bring adjustment.

Bottom line? We just can't seem to be able to force anyone or any creature behave as it ought. How utterly inept, no?

Well, my answer to that, and the real point of this blog post, is that "those who preach the gospel should live of the gospel." Now I realize the original context of this verse quoted was to validate the idea that some men will make their living by serving the church. Still yet, the logic holds up - those who preach the sufficiency of Christ will be challenged to live it out in the secret place of relationship. Those who preach the finished work of Christ better be ready to deal with the "togetherness" of that finished work's reality.

Don't preach the gospel until you are willing to walk it out in in very real and sacrificial ways. Your opinion can be your version of the perfect world, and there are no real relationships in a perfect world. The gospel itself has no context outside relationships. God wanted relationship with us, and went to the ultimate length to make it possible. We, in turn, do the same in each and every significant relationship we have.

People can be so inappropriate. I could very well be the princess of inappropriate. No matter. The worst inappropriate-ness there is, is to imagine yourself to be superior.

At the most basic level, a Christian is to be an imitator of God, and thus we most certainly can give something akin to divine grace to others. We can be a conduit of a small amount of undeserved blessing, if you will. I call it "manifesting the faithful love of Christ to the ones we care about." Nothing in this world will mature you and perfect you like living the gospel out in relationship will do in you.

"The Kingdom offends our sense of propriety because it's filled with inappropriate people. But, that's its greatest Gospel glory." ~Thomas Chalmers~