Bifocal Readers - Where Have You Been All My Life?

I'm excited. Soon, the UPS man (I heart him, have I told you that before?) will be delivering these to my address:

A cute pair of rimless bifocal readers.

I never knew bifocal readers existed! I have near perfect eyesight, except for that "slightly-over-forty" issue with reading print up close. I've had an eye exam, and don't need prescription glasses...just readers. But life is such a hassle, having to take my readers off and put them back on, over and over. So I just wear 'em jacked up on my head, mostly. It is either that, or search for them constantly, or wear them around my neck like an eighty year old.

I am hoping these will solve my dilemma. A dilemma that gets especially acute when I am going back and forth between looking at, say, my checkbook registry, and my calculator that sits on the right hand corner of my desk. I get so confused. I've been known to rip off my readers, and mess up my own hair, with my own two hands, in sheer frustration.

Please agree with me that these glasses will look extremely cute on my face, and allow me to read my books and Kindle, and look off meditatively (and attractively) into the distance, and read the pharmacy phone number off my bottle of thyroid medicine, and also drive safely. Maybe even all at the same time.

I want it all. And I want it now.

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