A One-Woman Facebook Crusade...

That does it. I'm on a one-woman mission.

I have never been a huge fan of Facebook. (For those of you who love it...I'm happy for you. So don't take this personally.) I have short spurts and seasons where I enjoy it, and I clearly see the utility of it, when important, short bursts of information need to get out to a large number of people. I get it. And it is fun, sometimes. But Facebook is still not my favorite way to spend my downtime. Give me a book-book ANY day.

And like every tool that can be used for amazing good, Facebook can also be used wrongly, and we who have minds of our own are allowed to speak up and say what we think. Kapeesh?

Let me get right to the laser-point: I've never, ever used my maiden name on Facebook. It never occurred to me. Sure, old friends from high school might try to "find" me and not be able to, but I graduated and moved on in 1984, and I rather enjoy my life as a middle aged woman. If an old friend from high school never "finds" me....well...how can I say it...

I'm okay with that.

Yup. I'm totally okay with it. Memory lane holds no fascination for me. Life as it is, right now, is totally wonderful. And chances are, no old highschool friend is going to Facebook me wanting to hear about Jesus. When I weigh the hidden message that might be in broadcasting my maiden name...when I weigh its risks with the potential "benefits"....call me old school, but I love my man, and I love my life, and I've grown up and grown older like normal people do. I wish my old high school friends well, but if they never find me, they can still find Jesus. Their eternity does not depend on my Facebook page.

In addition, without my maiden name, old boyfriends cannot find me.

I'm really okay with that.

I'm okay with that, even though there were only two or three boyfriends, and only one of the two or three was a really serious boyfriend. I'm okay with that even though I weigh only about 12 pounds more than I did in 1984 - and I was a skinny teenager. I'm okay with that even though I could impress any old boyfriend if I really tried, and even though I am still "hot" for my age.

Okay....warm.

No, wait. HOT. Sometimes I am totally hot, and byheaven, I am not ashamed. Women of a certain age get hot now and again, and have no business Facebooking old boyfriends.

If you are married, and have your maiden name on your Facebook - I know you don't mean anything by it. Well, I trust that you don't. But for the sake of The Cause....please remove it.

Or, let me be the radical one. Quirky me! Leave me to do the unusual thing all by myself. I'm okay with that, too. But you should remove it.

You have the power.

You can do it.

How about just your first name, and your married-last name? It is such a lovely last name, after all. I realize I am opening the door to all manner of hate mail, but I don't care. I'm sayin' it. I'm on a crusade.

No More Maiden Names For Married Godly Women On Facebook.

If you are happily married, remove your maiden name today. Just go with your real, married last name. You'll be glad you did. If you are not happily married...

...well, go ahead and leave that maiden name. I hear a certain cable TV show just might hook you up with your long lost heart-throb!

7 comments:

MrsWendy said...

CHARGE!!!!! :-) I so love you my friend!! Ya know, I had never thought about this before. I just thought it was the thing to do...put your maiden name on your facebook. Well, count me in! Name has been properly updated!
:-)

Unknown said...

Sheila Atchley, I love you so much! :) And even though it has caused me no problems, and I am definitely not looking for old boyfriends (as a matter of fact, I declined 1 or 2 requests), have blessedly found an old best girlfriend - have been able to share Jesus with another friend from high school... I am going to join your crusade and trust God that if my one or two more best girlfriends are supposed to find me, they will.

SmallMomentsBigJoy said...

I don't have my maiden name listed on facebook... because I am who I am *now* and that's the only person I want to be.

BUT... I have considered putting it on there. Not to find old boyfriends. Or old high school friends. (not that there's anything wrong with getting in touch with school friends)

Because of old family friends. Friends I went to church with as a small child. Or distant relatives with whom I've lost touch. I have come in contact with a lot of old friends and relatives who know my married name, and it's been great catching up with them. It has enriched my world. But there are many who don't know my married name. And it would be great to catch up with them, too. To see photos of their children, to see where life led each of us.

Broadening my world to include even more friends has been a wonderful experience for me. It's helped me to have less tunnel vision.

The majority of women do not have an ulterior motive for listing their maiden name.

Anonymous said...

You crack me up my sweet friend..I was laughting my head off at your post..not that it is wrong, becasue I feel pretty much like you do. I love my married name, never had the first thought about keeping my *single* name. Hey, girls did you ever write your name over and over again before you were married with the *to be* married last name??? LOL come on admit it...
EWING, means *well born* so says our dear friend Joe across the way..
Vickie Ewing

Anonymous said...

Love hearing your thoughts about Facebook, the pros and cons. Yes, I am one who finds it exciting, but then, I don't have too much going on my life and not much energy to 'get out and about'. But I did want to say that I will be keeping my maiden name because of this: I *have* no 'old boyfriends'. You think I'm kidding. I'm ser'ously NOT kidding. My sweet Pat is the Only Man in my life -- ever. Married for almost 40 years. Dated 4 years before that. And before *that*? NObody. So I'm SAFE with my name on Facebook, 'cause ain't NO man lookin' for me!!! ~ann in faith, a real town in nc [because i have to click on 'anonymous' below, since i don't fit into those other categories and it won't take my message if i don't click 'sump'n'. :o)

Sheila Atchley said...

I am so blessed by all the comments - pro and con! I can easily see both sides of the debate...but since I am coming from "where I am coming from", and having to deal, as a pastor's wife, with the ugly, ugly reality of marital infidelity in people's lives, I am swinging the pendulum HARD, and TRYING to say things to encourage thought and debate. I appreciate the fact that you have responded, and respect each of you and your position!

Ursula said...

Oh dear...my facebook has my maiden name on it...oh yeah...that is my name. :p

But...the moment I get married its changing...because I agree its dangerous...and what an honour to be your new name!!!!