Sneeze, Re-attach, Repeat

Suddenly, out of nowhere, I have been sneezing my butt off today.  All over town.  In Wal-Mart, it was:

sneeze, reattach butt, repeat.

In the grocery store:  sneeze, reattach, repeat.  In the hardware store - well, you get the idea.

sneeze, reattach, repeat.

I'm so tired of the whole routine.  If it weren't for dark chocolate and swearing, I might have a nervous breakdown after the week I've had.

Besides.  Wine makes me sleepy which makes me grumpy if it is not time to sleep.  So all I am left with is dark chocolate and swearing, which keeps me from being irritable with my family.

The way I look at it, every bite of dark chocolate, every mild swear word, is an act of selfless love for the people I live with.  Maybe I should tweak my routine to "sneeze, swear, reattach, eat chocolate, repeat".

Nah.  Too much trouble.  And within three days, my butt would get so big, I couldn't pick it back up.  I swear (::cough::), the next time I sneeze, I am just gonna look furtively, all around, and just leave my butt wherever it lies.

If I could only manage to sneeze and hold onto my butt at the same time.  Alas, my motor skills are not like everyone else's.   
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